(by Joyce Meyer)
The Lord gave this Word to me as I was preparing for one of my conferences, and I believe He wants me to share it with you. He said:
“So many are in prison because they won't accept themselves. So many are so gifted and talented, but they won't express themselves because they fear rejection. They fear man. They fear what people will think. I want to love My people, but they hold Me at arms length and won't let Me really love them because they have been hurt by others. They fear I will reject them because of their weaknesses—like people have—but I will never reject them. Tell them I love them. Ask them to stop trying so hard to be acceptable to Me and to realize I accept them where they are. Tell them I don't want perfect performance from them. I want them to love Me and to let Me love them."
The Lord’s been having me minister to the body of believers concerning how He looks for a perfect heart and not perfect performance. We won’t impress God with our works unless our heart is pure. A lot of people think God won't use them until every area of their life is perfected. That type of thinking keeps people from allowing God to use them. He uses us in spite of us, not because of us. This doesn't mean that we should have a loose attitude and not desire to live a holy life. A person whose heart is perfect toward God is always going to earnestly and zealously desire to please God in all things. But we must also remember that Hebrews 4:15 teaches us that …we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. Verse 16 encourages us, in light of verse 15, to draw near to God's throne and receive mercy for our failures and to go ahead and get grace to help us in our time of need. This is one of God's ways of saying He won't reject you because of your weaknesses or mistakes.
Most of us have grown up on a "merry-go-round" of trying to please people so they won't reject us. We all have an inbred need to be loved. People usually love you based on your performance. If you do what they want you to do, they accept you; but if you don't, they reject you. This is the operation of human love, and none of us know how to do anything else until we taste God's agape love that’s not based on man's performance but is based only on God. He loves you and accepts you because He decided to, not because of what you do or don’t do. Once again let me say, this doesn't mean you shouldn't desire holiness; but you'll never arrive at new levels of holiness if you think God rejects you and withholds His love every time you fail. Remember Hebrews 4:15,16. He knows you're weak, so admit that you are and let Him help you anyway.
2 Chronicles 16:9 says, ...the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to [show] himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him…(KJV).
1 Corinthians 1:27-29 says that God purposely chooses the weak and foolish things of the world to confound the wise.
I would, in my natural thinking, think that He would look for a perfect specimen—someone who has it all together, a strong person who’d never fail Him or let Him down. But instead He looks for a person whose heart is perfect toward Him.
God desires to heal His people from past hurts caused by rejection. He wants you to know He will never reject you. He says in Matthew 11:28, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (NKJV). This is referring to those who are laboring at trying to be perfect and then beating themselves with guilty feelings when they fail.
Jesus was talking to the people who were trying to live under the laws of the Pharisees. It takes a lot to please a Pharisee, and they’re still around today. I'm sure you know one—someone who conveys to you the message, "I'll accept you if you perform perfectly and please me. I'll reject you and withhold my love if you don't."
Jesus isn’t a Pharisee. He says in John 3:18 that he who believes in Him will never be rejected. Believe in Him, love Him and desire His will. You'll be off to a good start. He’ll bring you across the finish line. And remember, you may not be performing perfectly, but if you have a perfect heart toward Him, He counts you as perfect while you’re making the trip. Oh yes, one main thing I need to say: Be sure you are not a Pharisee. God has placed people all around you who need love and acceptance. Give it to them, and you'll help them become the best person they can be.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Dare To Be Different!
(by Joyce Meyer)
Are you tired of playing games, wearing masks or trying to be someone other than yourself? Wouldn't you like the freedom to just be accepted for who you are, without the pressure to be someone you really don't know how to be? Would you like to learn how to embrace your uniqueness and resist the pull to be like everyone else? God knew what He was doing when He made you. You are a unique individual—God created you the way you are! It's time that we dare to accept ourselves as different and stop being insecure about who we are.
If you’re going to overcome insecurities and be the person God’s called you to be, you must have the courage to be different. Unhappiness and frustration happen when we reject our uniqueness and try to be like each other. If you’re going to be successful at being completely you, then you’re going to have to take a chance on not being like everyone else. You must ask yourself, Am I a people pleaser or a God pleaser?
Becoming a people pleaser is one of the easiest things we can do...but it can ultimately make us very unhappy. When we begin pleasing others, we begin to hear comments that make us feel good about ourselves. That’s okay as long as we don't derive our sense of worth from it. People are too fickle for us to place our sense of worth in their opinions. We’re worth something because God says we're worth something—not because of what people think or say about us.
People pleasers allow others to control their lives in order to gain acceptance and approval. But God doesn't want us to be easily manipulated or controlled by others. We shouldn't let other people's opinions of us control our actions.
At the same time, we must walk in love. We can't just do anything we want, whenever we want, with total disregard for the feelings of others. We can't say, "I'm going to do this, and if you don't like it, that's tough—that's your problem!" The Bible commands us to love others, and love doesn't behave that way. However, we must not allow people to manipulate and control us to the point that we’re never free to be who we are. If we do, we’ll always try to become the person we think others expect us to be.
The world (those we know and deal with on a daily basis who may be family, friends, people in the neighborhood or even in the church) is continually trying to conform us to its image. The word conform means "to be similar in form or character; to behave in accordance with prevailing modes or customs.” Romans 12:2 says, Do not be conformed to this world (this age),…but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind…It’s then that we find the good and acceptable will of God for our lives.
People will always try to fit us into their mold, partly due to their own insecurity. It makes them feel better about what they are doing if they can get someone else to do it too. Very few people have the ability to be who they are and let everybody else be who they are. Can you imagine how nice the world would be if we would all do that? Each person would be secure in who he is and let others be who they are. We would not have to try to be imitations of each other.
God wants to take us, with all our weaknesses and inabilities, and transform us, by working from the inside out, to do something powerful in this earth. If we’re going to overcome insecurities and succeed at being ourselves, we can't continue to be afraid of what everybody else may think. We can't continue to allow others to fit us into their mold. We are different! We are unique! God created us this way to accomplish His purposes here on earth.
Are you tired of playing games, wearing masks or trying to be someone other than yourself? Wouldn't you like the freedom to just be accepted for who you are, without the pressure to be someone you really don't know how to be? Would you like to learn how to embrace your uniqueness and resist the pull to be like everyone else? God knew what He was doing when He made you. You are a unique individual—God created you the way you are! It's time that we dare to accept ourselves as different and stop being insecure about who we are.
If you’re going to overcome insecurities and be the person God’s called you to be, you must have the courage to be different. Unhappiness and frustration happen when we reject our uniqueness and try to be like each other. If you’re going to be successful at being completely you, then you’re going to have to take a chance on not being like everyone else. You must ask yourself, Am I a people pleaser or a God pleaser?
Becoming a people pleaser is one of the easiest things we can do...but it can ultimately make us very unhappy. When we begin pleasing others, we begin to hear comments that make us feel good about ourselves. That’s okay as long as we don't derive our sense of worth from it. People are too fickle for us to place our sense of worth in their opinions. We’re worth something because God says we're worth something—not because of what people think or say about us.
People pleasers allow others to control their lives in order to gain acceptance and approval. But God doesn't want us to be easily manipulated or controlled by others. We shouldn't let other people's opinions of us control our actions.
At the same time, we must walk in love. We can't just do anything we want, whenever we want, with total disregard for the feelings of others. We can't say, "I'm going to do this, and if you don't like it, that's tough—that's your problem!" The Bible commands us to love others, and love doesn't behave that way. However, we must not allow people to manipulate and control us to the point that we’re never free to be who we are. If we do, we’ll always try to become the person we think others expect us to be.
The world (those we know and deal with on a daily basis who may be family, friends, people in the neighborhood or even in the church) is continually trying to conform us to its image. The word conform means "to be similar in form or character; to behave in accordance with prevailing modes or customs.” Romans 12:2 says, Do not be conformed to this world (this age),…but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind…It’s then that we find the good and acceptable will of God for our lives.
People will always try to fit us into their mold, partly due to their own insecurity. It makes them feel better about what they are doing if they can get someone else to do it too. Very few people have the ability to be who they are and let everybody else be who they are. Can you imagine how nice the world would be if we would all do that? Each person would be secure in who he is and let others be who they are. We would not have to try to be imitations of each other.
God wants to take us, with all our weaknesses and inabilities, and transform us, by working from the inside out, to do something powerful in this earth. If we’re going to overcome insecurities and succeed at being ourselves, we can't continue to be afraid of what everybody else may think. We can't continue to allow others to fit us into their mold. We are different! We are unique! God created us this way to accomplish His purposes here on earth.
How To Succeed At Being Yourself
(by Joyce Meyer)
It’s tough to enjoy life when you don’t like yourself. People who haven’t learned to accept and get along with themselves tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with others. Yet, the Bible repeatedly tells us to “love your neighbor as yourself.” I personally spent years having a hard time getting along with people, until I finally realized through the Word of God how my difficulty with other people was actually “rooted” in my difficulties with myself.
The Bible says a good tree will bear good fruit, and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit. Likewise, the “fruit” of our lives comes from the “root” within us. If you're rooted in shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love and acceptance, etc., the fruit of your relationships will suffer. However, once you have a revelation of God’s unconditional love for you and begin to accept yourself and others, eventually these new roots will produce good fruit, and your relationships will thrive.
Here are a few tips I believe will help you succeed at being yourself.
1. Never say or think negative things about yourself, such as, "I never do anything right." “I'll never change.” “I'm ugly.” “I look terrible.” “I'm dumb.” “Who could ever love me?” Matthew 12:37 says, ...by your words you will be justified..., and by your words you will be condemned…. Proverbs 23:7 says, …as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he. (KJV). In other words, the way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about ourselves.
2. Speak good things about yourself (as private confessions) in line with what the Word says about you. For example: "I am the righteousness of God in Christ.” “I am made acceptable in the Beloved.” “God created me and formed me with His own hands, and God doesn't make mistakes." I like starting the day making good confessions. Perhaps you can do this while you're driving to work or cleaning house. I also encourage you to look in the mirror and say out loud, "God loves and accepts you, and so do I." You may even try hugging yourself. This is beneficial to people who have lacked love and acceptance in their lives.
3. Never compare yourself with other people. God must love variety or He wouldn't have created us all differently—even down to our fingerprints. You'll never succeed at being yourself if you're trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you, but duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your individual personality.
4. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations. Actress Helen Hayes was told early in her career that if she were four inches taller she’d be the greatest actress of her time. Her coaches tried various methods of stretching her, but nothing increased her height. She refused to concentrate on the supposed limitation of being five feet tall and decided to concentrate on her potential. As a result, she was eventually cast as Mary, Queen of Scotland—one of the tallest queens who ever lived.
5. Find something you like to do that you do well, and do it over and over. If you spend your time doing things you're not good at, it’ll frustrate you and cause you to feel defeated and unsuccessful.
6. Have the courage to be different and deal with criticism. Be a God-pleaser, not a man-pleaser (see Galatians 1:10). If you dare to be different, you’ll have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd—when you know in your heart God’s leading you a different way—is one reason people don't succeed at being themselves. You won't like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions.
7. Don't let the way another person treats you determine your worth.
8. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence, but they concentrate on their strengths—not their flaws or weaknesses.
In conclusion, let me remind you of my opening statement: It’s tough to enjoy life when you don’t like yourself. When you learn to succeed at being yourself, you’ll be well on your way to enjoying life more fully.
It’s tough to enjoy life when you don’t like yourself. People who haven’t learned to accept and get along with themselves tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with others. Yet, the Bible repeatedly tells us to “love your neighbor as yourself.” I personally spent years having a hard time getting along with people, until I finally realized through the Word of God how my difficulty with other people was actually “rooted” in my difficulties with myself.
The Bible says a good tree will bear good fruit, and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit. Likewise, the “fruit” of our lives comes from the “root” within us. If you're rooted in shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love and acceptance, etc., the fruit of your relationships will suffer. However, once you have a revelation of God’s unconditional love for you and begin to accept yourself and others, eventually these new roots will produce good fruit, and your relationships will thrive.
Here are a few tips I believe will help you succeed at being yourself.
1. Never say or think negative things about yourself, such as, "I never do anything right." “I'll never change.” “I'm ugly.” “I look terrible.” “I'm dumb.” “Who could ever love me?” Matthew 12:37 says, ...by your words you will be justified..., and by your words you will be condemned…. Proverbs 23:7 says, …as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he. (KJV). In other words, the way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about ourselves.
2. Speak good things about yourself (as private confessions) in line with what the Word says about you. For example: "I am the righteousness of God in Christ.” “I am made acceptable in the Beloved.” “God created me and formed me with His own hands, and God doesn't make mistakes." I like starting the day making good confessions. Perhaps you can do this while you're driving to work or cleaning house. I also encourage you to look in the mirror and say out loud, "God loves and accepts you, and so do I." You may even try hugging yourself. This is beneficial to people who have lacked love and acceptance in their lives.
3. Never compare yourself with other people. God must love variety or He wouldn't have created us all differently—even down to our fingerprints. You'll never succeed at being yourself if you're trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you, but duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your individual personality.
4. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations. Actress Helen Hayes was told early in her career that if she were four inches taller she’d be the greatest actress of her time. Her coaches tried various methods of stretching her, but nothing increased her height. She refused to concentrate on the supposed limitation of being five feet tall and decided to concentrate on her potential. As a result, she was eventually cast as Mary, Queen of Scotland—one of the tallest queens who ever lived.
5. Find something you like to do that you do well, and do it over and over. If you spend your time doing things you're not good at, it’ll frustrate you and cause you to feel defeated and unsuccessful.
6. Have the courage to be different and deal with criticism. Be a God-pleaser, not a man-pleaser (see Galatians 1:10). If you dare to be different, you’ll have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd—when you know in your heart God’s leading you a different way—is one reason people don't succeed at being themselves. You won't like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions.
7. Don't let the way another person treats you determine your worth.
8. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence, but they concentrate on their strengths—not their flaws or weaknesses.
In conclusion, let me remind you of my opening statement: It’s tough to enjoy life when you don’t like yourself. When you learn to succeed at being yourself, you’ll be well on your way to enjoying life more fully.
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