(Susie Shellenberger - Briomag)
God said: I miss talking with you.
I said: What? I just prayed on Sunday.
How often do you talk with Katie?
I dunno.
Think about it.
Well, OK. Let’s see . . . we usually hang together before school, then we have English and math together. And — oh yeah — we’ve got study hall together in the afternoon. And lunch, I forgot about lunch. We eat lunch together every day.
So how often do you talk with Katie?
I guess all the time. We call each other a few times during the week to check on homework stuff. And we instant-message a lot in the evenings when we’re both on the computer. I’d say we pretty much talk all the time. After all, she is my best friend!
How often do you talk with Me?
I don’t know.
Think about it.
Sigh. Well . . . on Sundays at church — and at youth group. You know.
I’d love to talk with you more.
But God, I already give You chitchat time.
I want more than chitchat. I’d like for you to tell Me everything.
Everything?
Why not? I already know what you’re thinking anyway.
Yeah. And that’s just it! If You know everything, what’s the big deal about me having to talk with You?
Having to talk? Hmmm. I was hoping it would be more of an enjoyment instead of an obligation.
Ah, You know what I mean.
You’re right, I do. And that’s exactly what hurts Me. Most of the time when you speak with Me, it’s because you feel you’re supposed to, or it’s because your back is against the wall and you need help — fast.
I didn’t know You felt that way.
My child, I paid the highest price I could pay for you. I long to be with you and to hear you voice your thoughts, your joys, your tears, your loneliness, your victories.
Well, OK. If it really means that much to You. But I still don’t get this prayer thing. If You already know what I’m going to say before I even say it, what’s the point in telling You?
It’s the process.
Huh?
Remember last week when Katie took first place in the track meet?
Sure! I remember. Boy, was she excited!
Yes. And you were, too.
Well, yeah. I am her best friend. You know.
But you actually heard about it before Katie told you.
Oh, yeah! Jason told me before I even saw Katie.
But when Katie rushed to you, waving her ribbon, you were just as happy and proud for her as if you were hearing the news for the first time.
Yeah.
That’s friendship. That’s relationship. That’s love. Would you have wanted her to keep the news from you because you already knew?
No way! I love it when Katie gets excited. Her face lights up with that crooked grin, and her eyes glow like sparklers.
I feel the same way.
Hmmm.
I not only love for you to tell Me everything — I can’t wait to hear it!
I think I’m starting to understand.
I’m not finished with Katie yet.
Oh?
Yeah. Let’s keep talking about your friendship for just a bit longer.
OK.
The more you two share (secrets, giggles, notes), and the more you two do (trips together, youth group parties, football games), the closer you become.
So it’s doing stuff that makes us such great friends, right?
Partly right. But I really want you to think about this, OK?
OK.
It’s also the p-r-o-c-e-s-s.
I’m thinking.
The time invested in sharing and doing.
Yeah. I get it. We’re sort of investing ourselves in each other’s lives.
Exactly. And your friendship is growing because of it.
Yeah! Cool.
Do you hear what I’m saying?
Keep talking. I’m listening, God. I really am. I want to get this.
Your relationship with Me is pretty static right now.
Static?
Yeah. Dull. Boring.
I didn’t think You noticed stuff like that.
I’m God, remember?
Oh, yeah.
But it doesn’t have to be static. Don’t forget. I died so we could have a relationship — an exciting, fun relationship, not a boring one.
Well, what can I do?
Spend more time with Me. Talk to Me. When you cry, let Me wipe your tears. When you ace a history exam, share your good news with Me. When Lisa snubs you in the hallway, tell Me how bad it hurts. I want our relationship to grow.
Wow. Lord, I’ve never even thought of all that. I mean, why would You be so interested in my everyday, ordinary life?
Because I love you. Oh, how I love you!
Jesus, I’m sorry. I’ve pretty much left You on the shelf. I mean, yeah, I go to church, and I even read my Bible at times, and people know I’m a Christian. But You want me to grow in You too, and I haven’t been — I’ve been static, just like You said. Will You forgive me?
I forgive you.
Jesus, I want to have a best-friend, Lord-of-Lords relationship with You. I want You to own me and consume me.
Yes! That’s what I want, too. And you know what?
What?
I love the way you’re praying right now.
Praying? I’m not praying. We’re just talking.
Yeah. And that’s exactly what prayer is.
I get it.
Open, honest, consistent communication.
I can’t wait till tomorrow morning.
Why’s that?
I’m going to get up early and pray.
You don’t have to wait till tomorrow morning. Talk to Me when you get up at 1:30 a.m. to go to the bathroom.
Really?
Sure! And at 3 a.m. when you’re tossing in bed and scrunching your pillow.
Hey! How’d You know I always? . . . Oh, yeah, You’re God.
Right.
Well, in that case, how about hanging out right now? I’ve got some stuff I need to talk with You about.
Great. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Wonderfully Made
(Vanessa Kay Frisinger - Briomag)
“Give me a call this summer. We’ll play tennis or something,” Mari yelled through the busted window of her brother’s Honda.
I waved and climbed into our white minivan, clutching a yearbook full of phone numbers and LYLASs and BFFs and inside jokes. The crowd at our lunch table had been
especially loud that day, everyone saying goodbye until next school year and planning summer get-togethers. I never would’ve guessed the end of my freshman year would’ve ended like this. After all, it hadn’t started out so great.
It All Started When...
The summer before my first year of high school had been tumultuous, but not bad. My dad had left his job as a youth pastor in our hometown to start a church 200 miles away. Those first three months were so full of new experiences that I didn’t notice how lonely I felt. I took guitar lessons and taught the preschool class at church. I played basketball and volleyball in summer leagues for my new school, which had its own swimming pool and soda machines! The world around me had changed, and for a while I enjoyed it.
Once school started, however, I realized how alone I felt. I didn’t have anyone in town offering to play tennis with me or go to the mall. Moving meant I’d left behind my friends—girls I’d known since we were babies in the church nursery and classmates with whom I’d started kindergarten. Now, since our church was so new, I was the only one in the youth group. Two other teens came when their parents made them, but they weren’t too interested in going out for pizza after the service.
Well-meaning adults pointed out that I didn’t smile as much as I used to, so I forced a grin no matter how discouraged I felt. It was easier than admitting I worried about things that never bothered me before. I got nauseous before the start of each basketball game, fearing that I wouldn’t be able to sink a shot in front of a crowd. I refused to wear my favorite cartoon T-shirt because a boy in art class called me a baby.
At lunch, I hid in the library. It was better than enduring the noisy cafeteria, where I’d have to sit by myself, dipping limp fries into thin ketchup and tolerating the obvious comments. I think things would’ve been easier if I could’ve blended in with the crowd, but that was impossible.
“How’s the weather up there?”
“Hey, Sky-High, can you hear me?”
My parents claimed being abnormally tall was a gift of some sort. Not in high school. Being abnormally tall was just abnormal. In fact, I was not just taller-than-your-average-girl sort of tall. I was 6 feet 2 inches. That’s taller-than-your-average-teacher sort of tall. Even brand new jeans were high-waters on me, and it was tough to tuck my legs under the school desks. All I wanted to do was hide, but that’s impossible when you stand head and shoulders above everyone else in the room.
How Would God Handle This?
I didn’t like feeling out of place. I didn’t like lacking the confidence to eat in the school cafeteria. But I didn’t know how to change. After letting these fears paralyze me for the first half of the year, I decided something had to be done. I decided to go to God with them.
I’d prayed before—when I wanted something. Unfortunately, there was a part of me that still put God and Santa Claus in the same category. I’d asked Him for specific Christmas gifts or the occasional earache to get out of going to school. Alas, no toy ever miraculously appeared under our tree, and the on-demand sickness never materialized. So I wasn’t sure what He could do with this.
I planned to talk to God at night, when my room was dark and quiet. I figured I couldn’t ask to be made shorter; that just didn’t seem like the right sort of request. I wasn’t going to tell God how I really felt, that could be dangerous. He’d probably expect me to grin and bear it (and stop whining). So I decided to keep it simple and respectful and ask if He’d send me a friend.
After waiting for the sounds in the house to quiet down, I sat up in my bed, wrapped my arms around my knees, clenched my teeth against the tears and addressed God. Why don’t I have any friends here? I looked up at the ceiling for a few minutes. All of my resolve melted and my real feelings came rushing out. “I don’t like the way You made me, OK? I don’t like it that I look different from everyone else. Why couldn’t You have just made me so I fit in?”
Tears dropped from my cheeks to my knees. I don’t know what I expected to happen. The darkness in my room was still dark.
The words from Psalm 139:14 started playing over and over in my head; “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I knew that verse because I’d memorized it in grade school to win a candy bar. I liked the way the words “fearfully and wonderfully” sounded, but I didn’t understand what they meant.
“Fearfully and wonderfully made, fearfully and wonderfully,” I repeated to myself. Hey, I was fearfully and wonderfully made. Me? Yes, all 6 feet and 2 inches! God was pleased with the way He’d made me. In fact, He loved the way He’d made me. He loved me. How exciting to be who I was—wonderfully created by God!
Lunchroom Perspective
The day after this revelation, I decided I needed to hang on to what I’d learned about God and about myself. I filled index cards with verses that encouraged me. Of course, Psalm 139:14 was the first. John 15:5, Proverbs 14:26-27 and Philippians 4:6 all found their way onto separate cards. I used them as bookmarks, tucked them into notebooks and even taped one on my locker. These words reminded me of what I’d learned: I was wonderfully made by God.
The next day at school, I braved the cafeteria. Ignoring tired comments about my height, I grabbed a food tray and scanned the crowd. There was a girl from my math class sitting alone. I almost didn’t approach her, because I thought she might not want to be seen with me. But then I remembered that I was wonderfully made, and she was too, even though she might not know it yet.
I sat with Mari that day. She sat alone, because she was embarrassed of her stutter. I hadn’t even noticed. The next day Mari joined me in line for lunch. “Look, there’s Laura,” Mari said as she pointed to another student from our math class who was reading a book in a corner by herself. We invited Laura to join us.
That’s how our lunch table started. Soon a girl named Kim and her friend, Amy, joined us. It wasn’t long until I looked forward to lunch again.
Before we left for the summer, Mari asked me how I’d found the courage to sit by her earlier in the year. “I guess it was because another Friend of mine reminded me that I was wonderfully made. It helped me not feel so weird.”
“Wonderfully made?”
“Sure,” I grinned, “and you are too!”
Things to Do When You Feel Out of Place
1. Go to God. He’s your Father. And don’t be afraid to tell Him how you really feel. (He already knows, anyway.)
2. Make encouragement cards. When you come across a verse that reminds you who you are in Christ, write it on an index card. Carry the cards with you or put them where you’ll see them often.
3. Talk to your mom or dad. Believe it or not, they were teens once and faced some of the things you’re facing.
4. Encourage someone else. Think of a special friend in your life and send her a thank-you note. Sit next to the girl in your youth group who usually sits alone. Helping someone else is a great way to make friends and strengthen the friendships you have.
“Give me a call this summer. We’ll play tennis or something,” Mari yelled through the busted window of her brother’s Honda.
I waved and climbed into our white minivan, clutching a yearbook full of phone numbers and LYLASs and BFFs and inside jokes. The crowd at our lunch table had been
especially loud that day, everyone saying goodbye until next school year and planning summer get-togethers. I never would’ve guessed the end of my freshman year would’ve ended like this. After all, it hadn’t started out so great.
It All Started When...
The summer before my first year of high school had been tumultuous, but not bad. My dad had left his job as a youth pastor in our hometown to start a church 200 miles away. Those first three months were so full of new experiences that I didn’t notice how lonely I felt. I took guitar lessons and taught the preschool class at church. I played basketball and volleyball in summer leagues for my new school, which had its own swimming pool and soda machines! The world around me had changed, and for a while I enjoyed it.
Once school started, however, I realized how alone I felt. I didn’t have anyone in town offering to play tennis with me or go to the mall. Moving meant I’d left behind my friends—girls I’d known since we were babies in the church nursery and classmates with whom I’d started kindergarten. Now, since our church was so new, I was the only one in the youth group. Two other teens came when their parents made them, but they weren’t too interested in going out for pizza after the service.
Well-meaning adults pointed out that I didn’t smile as much as I used to, so I forced a grin no matter how discouraged I felt. It was easier than admitting I worried about things that never bothered me before. I got nauseous before the start of each basketball game, fearing that I wouldn’t be able to sink a shot in front of a crowd. I refused to wear my favorite cartoon T-shirt because a boy in art class called me a baby.
At lunch, I hid in the library. It was better than enduring the noisy cafeteria, where I’d have to sit by myself, dipping limp fries into thin ketchup and tolerating the obvious comments. I think things would’ve been easier if I could’ve blended in with the crowd, but that was impossible.
“How’s the weather up there?”
“Hey, Sky-High, can you hear me?”
My parents claimed being abnormally tall was a gift of some sort. Not in high school. Being abnormally tall was just abnormal. In fact, I was not just taller-than-your-average-girl sort of tall. I was 6 feet 2 inches. That’s taller-than-your-average-teacher sort of tall. Even brand new jeans were high-waters on me, and it was tough to tuck my legs under the school desks. All I wanted to do was hide, but that’s impossible when you stand head and shoulders above everyone else in the room.
How Would God Handle This?
I didn’t like feeling out of place. I didn’t like lacking the confidence to eat in the school cafeteria. But I didn’t know how to change. After letting these fears paralyze me for the first half of the year, I decided something had to be done. I decided to go to God with them.
I’d prayed before—when I wanted something. Unfortunately, there was a part of me that still put God and Santa Claus in the same category. I’d asked Him for specific Christmas gifts or the occasional earache to get out of going to school. Alas, no toy ever miraculously appeared under our tree, and the on-demand sickness never materialized. So I wasn’t sure what He could do with this.
I planned to talk to God at night, when my room was dark and quiet. I figured I couldn’t ask to be made shorter; that just didn’t seem like the right sort of request. I wasn’t going to tell God how I really felt, that could be dangerous. He’d probably expect me to grin and bear it (and stop whining). So I decided to keep it simple and respectful and ask if He’d send me a friend.
After waiting for the sounds in the house to quiet down, I sat up in my bed, wrapped my arms around my knees, clenched my teeth against the tears and addressed God. Why don’t I have any friends here? I looked up at the ceiling for a few minutes. All of my resolve melted and my real feelings came rushing out. “I don’t like the way You made me, OK? I don’t like it that I look different from everyone else. Why couldn’t You have just made me so I fit in?”
Tears dropped from my cheeks to my knees. I don’t know what I expected to happen. The darkness in my room was still dark.
The words from Psalm 139:14 started playing over and over in my head; “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I knew that verse because I’d memorized it in grade school to win a candy bar. I liked the way the words “fearfully and wonderfully” sounded, but I didn’t understand what they meant.
“Fearfully and wonderfully made, fearfully and wonderfully,” I repeated to myself. Hey, I was fearfully and wonderfully made. Me? Yes, all 6 feet and 2 inches! God was pleased with the way He’d made me. In fact, He loved the way He’d made me. He loved me. How exciting to be who I was—wonderfully created by God!
Lunchroom Perspective
The day after this revelation, I decided I needed to hang on to what I’d learned about God and about myself. I filled index cards with verses that encouraged me. Of course, Psalm 139:14 was the first. John 15:5, Proverbs 14:26-27 and Philippians 4:6 all found their way onto separate cards. I used them as bookmarks, tucked them into notebooks and even taped one on my locker. These words reminded me of what I’d learned: I was wonderfully made by God.
The next day at school, I braved the cafeteria. Ignoring tired comments about my height, I grabbed a food tray and scanned the crowd. There was a girl from my math class sitting alone. I almost didn’t approach her, because I thought she might not want to be seen with me. But then I remembered that I was wonderfully made, and she was too, even though she might not know it yet.
I sat with Mari that day. She sat alone, because she was embarrassed of her stutter. I hadn’t even noticed. The next day Mari joined me in line for lunch. “Look, there’s Laura,” Mari said as she pointed to another student from our math class who was reading a book in a corner by herself. We invited Laura to join us.
That’s how our lunch table started. Soon a girl named Kim and her friend, Amy, joined us. It wasn’t long until I looked forward to lunch again.
Before we left for the summer, Mari asked me how I’d found the courage to sit by her earlier in the year. “I guess it was because another Friend of mine reminded me that I was wonderfully made. It helped me not feel so weird.”
“Wonderfully made?”
“Sure,” I grinned, “and you are too!”
Things to Do When You Feel Out of Place
1. Go to God. He’s your Father. And don’t be afraid to tell Him how you really feel. (He already knows, anyway.)
2. Make encouragement cards. When you come across a verse that reminds you who you are in Christ, write it on an index card. Carry the cards with you or put them where you’ll see them often.
3. Talk to your mom or dad. Believe it or not, they were teens once and faced some of the things you’re facing.
4. Encourage someone else. Think of a special friend in your life and send her a thank-you note. Sit next to the girl in your youth group who usually sits alone. Helping someone else is a great way to make friends and strengthen the friendships you have.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Smiling Is Serious Business
(by Joyce Meyer)
There are people all over the world dealing with depression—or at least trying to deal with it. There are many underlying causes for depression and a variety of available treatments. Some are effective, but many aren't. Some help temporarily, but they can never permanently remove the torment of depression.
No one is immune from depression or its crippling effects. People from all walks of life—doctors, lawyers, teachers, housewives, teenagers, small children, the elderly, singles, widows and widowers, and even ministers—suffer from depression. I believe the reason so many people suffer from depression is because they haven’t learned to deal with the disappointments that are a natural part of everyday life. Everyone on the face of the earth has to deal with disappointment, which can easily lead to depression, despondency, and even despair if it is allowed to persist.
A depressed person may feel sad and not want to talk to anyone or go anywhere, preferring to be left alone with the ever-present negative thoughts and sour attitude.
The despondent person, on the other hand, has similar symptoms of a depressed person, but the symptoms are much deeper, with dejection of the mind and a failing spirit. The despondent lose all courage, and a feeling of hopelessness quickly leads to despair.
Despair is different from depression or despondency. People in despair have given up, and they no longer want to do anything to help themselves. They simply don't care anymore. People in despair are prone to developing an underlying rage, which could even result in violent action.
Recognizing the destructive effects of the process, we must understand the importance of dealing successfully with disappointment and depression in the early stages. The good news is that God can help us deal with it and even overcome it if we just ask for His help.
Once, as I was preparing to speak on depression, I saw very clearly that God has given us His joy to fight depression. As a child, I believe I was robbed of joy. For as long as I can remember, I lived as if I was an adult because everything in my life was so serious. I was brought up in a bad situation, surrounded by negative circumstances. I thought if I stayed serious, maybe I could stay alive. Obviously, with this type of attitude, I didn't develop a bubbly, giggly kind of personality. I developed a serious attitude, and because of it, people sometimes misunderstood me.
Once I told one of my assistants that I needed to talk to her before she left work. My plan was to ask for her help in making preparations for an upcoming meeting, but because I had approached her so seriously, she thought I was going to reprimand her for something. She thought she was in big trouble!
That incident helped me realize that I had a problem. I knew my serious demeanor was alienating me from people instead of making me more approachable, so I began asking the Lord how He wanted me to deal with this "seriousness" issue. I really felt that the answer from God was simply to allow the joy that He had put in my heart to show more on my face. God wanted me to smile more!
Everyone knows how to smile. It's one of the greatest gifts God has given us. A smile makes people feel good, and people look so beautiful when they smile. When the joy in your life is obvious, it rubs off on others. But when you keep God's joy locked inside you and don't allow it to show on your face, you're depriving those around you of a pleasant and refreshing experience.
Most people really don't understand how expressing joy will change their circumstances and, perhaps, the lives of others. Living your life with the joy of the Lord will chase off negative, depressing circumstances. I never would have thought that smiling was such a serious matter, but God spent several months trying to get this point across to me. Expressing joy through the calm delight of smiling brings good things into your own life and shares the joy and light of the Lord with others.
There are people all over the world dealing with depression—or at least trying to deal with it. There are many underlying causes for depression and a variety of available treatments. Some are effective, but many aren't. Some help temporarily, but they can never permanently remove the torment of depression.
No one is immune from depression or its crippling effects. People from all walks of life—doctors, lawyers, teachers, housewives, teenagers, small children, the elderly, singles, widows and widowers, and even ministers—suffer from depression. I believe the reason so many people suffer from depression is because they haven’t learned to deal with the disappointments that are a natural part of everyday life. Everyone on the face of the earth has to deal with disappointment, which can easily lead to depression, despondency, and even despair if it is allowed to persist.
A depressed person may feel sad and not want to talk to anyone or go anywhere, preferring to be left alone with the ever-present negative thoughts and sour attitude.
The despondent person, on the other hand, has similar symptoms of a depressed person, but the symptoms are much deeper, with dejection of the mind and a failing spirit. The despondent lose all courage, and a feeling of hopelessness quickly leads to despair.
Despair is different from depression or despondency. People in despair have given up, and they no longer want to do anything to help themselves. They simply don't care anymore. People in despair are prone to developing an underlying rage, which could even result in violent action.
Recognizing the destructive effects of the process, we must understand the importance of dealing successfully with disappointment and depression in the early stages. The good news is that God can help us deal with it and even overcome it if we just ask for His help.
Once, as I was preparing to speak on depression, I saw very clearly that God has given us His joy to fight depression. As a child, I believe I was robbed of joy. For as long as I can remember, I lived as if I was an adult because everything in my life was so serious. I was brought up in a bad situation, surrounded by negative circumstances. I thought if I stayed serious, maybe I could stay alive. Obviously, with this type of attitude, I didn't develop a bubbly, giggly kind of personality. I developed a serious attitude, and because of it, people sometimes misunderstood me.
Once I told one of my assistants that I needed to talk to her before she left work. My plan was to ask for her help in making preparations for an upcoming meeting, but because I had approached her so seriously, she thought I was going to reprimand her for something. She thought she was in big trouble!
That incident helped me realize that I had a problem. I knew my serious demeanor was alienating me from people instead of making me more approachable, so I began asking the Lord how He wanted me to deal with this "seriousness" issue. I really felt that the answer from God was simply to allow the joy that He had put in my heart to show more on my face. God wanted me to smile more!
Everyone knows how to smile. It's one of the greatest gifts God has given us. A smile makes people feel good, and people look so beautiful when they smile. When the joy in your life is obvious, it rubs off on others. But when you keep God's joy locked inside you and don't allow it to show on your face, you're depriving those around you of a pleasant and refreshing experience.
Most people really don't understand how expressing joy will change their circumstances and, perhaps, the lives of others. Living your life with the joy of the Lord will chase off negative, depressing circumstances. I never would have thought that smiling was such a serious matter, but God spent several months trying to get this point across to me. Expressing joy through the calm delight of smiling brings good things into your own life and shares the joy and light of the Lord with others.
You Can't Give Away Something You Don't Have
(by Joyce Meyer)
Loving and being loved are what make our lives worth living. Many people experience times in their lives when they feel unloved. During these times it’s easy to dwell on those negative thoughts, but allowing it to continue leads to unhappiness and depression.
Love is the energy of life. It is what motivates people to get up each day and keep going. Love gives life purpose and meaning. Everywhere you look you see people searching for love…but they’re looking in the wrong places. God is love, and they will never find what they’re looking for until they find Him.
People look for fulfillment in life in different ways. These ways may seem good at first, but eventually the unsuccessful search will leave them feeling frustrated, disappointed and empty. The only way they can find the true fulfillment they are so desperately seeking is to choose to walk in love—to actually put love into action by reaching out and loving others.
As soon as I made a commitment to God, I began to hear people talk about the importance of loving others. Since I wanted to live my life according to the Bible, I wanted to walk in love, but I just couldn’t. I had the urge…but no power to follow through. I always made elaborate plans but couldn’t carry them out.
Unfulfilled desire is often frustrating. I felt very frustrated and wondered what was wrong with me. I was impatient with people. I was legalistic, harsh, judgmental, rude, selfish and unforgiving—and that is only the beginning of the list. The harder I tried to walk in love, the worse I became.
I began to understand that I could not love others because I had never received God’s love for me. I knew in my head that the Bible said God loved me, but I didn’t feel His love in my heart. I wondered how God could love us as imperfect as we are.
God loves us because He wants to—it pleases Him. God loves us because it’s His nature to love, and He will always love us. He doesn’t always love everything we do, but He does love us. God’s love is unconditional. In fact, there’s nothing we can do to ever escape His love. God’s love is the power that forgives our sins, heals our emotional wounds, and mends our broken hearts.
Over time I came to realize that I am deeply loved by God simply for who I am, not because of any work I could do for Him. I could finally quit trying to earn His love by doing things I thought would make me more worthy of His love.
Once I began receiving God’s awesome, unconditional love, I was able to start loving Him in return and reach out to others more freely in love. Because God’s never-ending love was in me, I could give it to others without fear of ever running out.
Everyone in the world wants to be loved and accepted. And the love of God—that wonderful gift He freely gives us—satisfies that need. His love flows to us, and then it should flow through us to other people.
Now I see myself as a container full of blessings. I want to be the type of person who can pour out God’s love into the lives of the people around me. I’ve found that I’m always happier when I choose to make others happy.
In the Bible, God calls Christians the salt of the earth (see Matthew 5:13). He expects us to “season” the lives of those around us. All of life is tasteless without love. Love is the salt, the energy of life, and the reason to get up every morning.
Every day can be exciting if we see ourselves as God’s secret agents, waiting to sprinkle a little salt on all the lives we encounter. And we know that because we are deeply loved by God, we can never run out of love—no matter how much we give away.
Loving and being loved are what make our lives worth living. Many people experience times in their lives when they feel unloved. During these times it’s easy to dwell on those negative thoughts, but allowing it to continue leads to unhappiness and depression.
Love is the energy of life. It is what motivates people to get up each day and keep going. Love gives life purpose and meaning. Everywhere you look you see people searching for love…but they’re looking in the wrong places. God is love, and they will never find what they’re looking for until they find Him.
People look for fulfillment in life in different ways. These ways may seem good at first, but eventually the unsuccessful search will leave them feeling frustrated, disappointed and empty. The only way they can find the true fulfillment they are so desperately seeking is to choose to walk in love—to actually put love into action by reaching out and loving others.
As soon as I made a commitment to God, I began to hear people talk about the importance of loving others. Since I wanted to live my life according to the Bible, I wanted to walk in love, but I just couldn’t. I had the urge…but no power to follow through. I always made elaborate plans but couldn’t carry them out.
Unfulfilled desire is often frustrating. I felt very frustrated and wondered what was wrong with me. I was impatient with people. I was legalistic, harsh, judgmental, rude, selfish and unforgiving—and that is only the beginning of the list. The harder I tried to walk in love, the worse I became.
I began to understand that I could not love others because I had never received God’s love for me. I knew in my head that the Bible said God loved me, but I didn’t feel His love in my heart. I wondered how God could love us as imperfect as we are.
God loves us because He wants to—it pleases Him. God loves us because it’s His nature to love, and He will always love us. He doesn’t always love everything we do, but He does love us. God’s love is unconditional. In fact, there’s nothing we can do to ever escape His love. God’s love is the power that forgives our sins, heals our emotional wounds, and mends our broken hearts.
Over time I came to realize that I am deeply loved by God simply for who I am, not because of any work I could do for Him. I could finally quit trying to earn His love by doing things I thought would make me more worthy of His love.
Once I began receiving God’s awesome, unconditional love, I was able to start loving Him in return and reach out to others more freely in love. Because God’s never-ending love was in me, I could give it to others without fear of ever running out.
Everyone in the world wants to be loved and accepted. And the love of God—that wonderful gift He freely gives us—satisfies that need. His love flows to us, and then it should flow through us to other people.
Now I see myself as a container full of blessings. I want to be the type of person who can pour out God’s love into the lives of the people around me. I’ve found that I’m always happier when I choose to make others happy.
In the Bible, God calls Christians the salt of the earth (see Matthew 5:13). He expects us to “season” the lives of those around us. All of life is tasteless without love. Love is the salt, the energy of life, and the reason to get up every morning.
Every day can be exciting if we see ourselves as God’s secret agents, waiting to sprinkle a little salt on all the lives we encounter. And we know that because we are deeply loved by God, we can never run out of love—no matter how much we give away.
Our Thoughts Become Our Words
(by Joyce Meyer)
The longer I live the more I realize the powerful connection that exists between our thoughts and our words. I honestly believe that this connection is one of the most important things we can learn in our lives.
Our words are a direct result of our thoughts. So many people’s problems are rooted in their way of thinking, which actually produces the problems they experience. A negative mind produces a negative mouth and, consequently, a negative life. We’re all tempted to think negatively, but we don’t have to give in to the temptation. We need to be able to identify what types of thinking and speaking are life-giving and what types aren’t.
Because I allowed many years of negative thinking and speaking in my life, I became an extremely negative, sour person. My philosophy became if you don’t expect anything good to happen, then you won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t. Have you ever felt that way? Because I had encountered so many disappointments, I was afraid to believe that anything good could happen to me. I had developed a terribly negative outlook on everything.
If I had continued to believe those lies about never getting over my past, I never would’ve gotten over my past! With God’s help I was reminded that my past didn’t have to control my future. I didn’t need God’s help in my life to give up; I needed His help to keep going!
I finally found out how important it was for me to come to grips with the fact that my life would not get straightened out until my mouth did…and since the two are linked, my mouth wasn’t going to get straightened out until my mind did.
We have to choose to think and speak positively. It doesn’t come naturally—it takes a lot of practice. There will be days when you have setbacks, but just get back up, dust yourself off, and start again. When a baby is learning to walk, he falls many, many times before he gains the confidence to walk. Failing from time to time—which you will do—doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It simply means that you don’t do everything right all the time—and neither does anyone else.
If you’ve been consumed with negative thinking and speaking, the pathway to your freedom begins when you face the problem without making excuses for it. Be patient with yourself. As you change your thinking, your words will change and so will your life!
The longer I live the more I realize the powerful connection that exists between our thoughts and our words. I honestly believe that this connection is one of the most important things we can learn in our lives.
Our words are a direct result of our thoughts. So many people’s problems are rooted in their way of thinking, which actually produces the problems they experience. A negative mind produces a negative mouth and, consequently, a negative life. We’re all tempted to think negatively, but we don’t have to give in to the temptation. We need to be able to identify what types of thinking and speaking are life-giving and what types aren’t.
Because I allowed many years of negative thinking and speaking in my life, I became an extremely negative, sour person. My philosophy became if you don’t expect anything good to happen, then you won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t. Have you ever felt that way? Because I had encountered so many disappointments, I was afraid to believe that anything good could happen to me. I had developed a terribly negative outlook on everything.
If I had continued to believe those lies about never getting over my past, I never would’ve gotten over my past! With God’s help I was reminded that my past didn’t have to control my future. I didn’t need God’s help in my life to give up; I needed His help to keep going!
I finally found out how important it was for me to come to grips with the fact that my life would not get straightened out until my mouth did…and since the two are linked, my mouth wasn’t going to get straightened out until my mind did.
We have to choose to think and speak positively. It doesn’t come naturally—it takes a lot of practice. There will be days when you have setbacks, but just get back up, dust yourself off, and start again. When a baby is learning to walk, he falls many, many times before he gains the confidence to walk. Failing from time to time—which you will do—doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It simply means that you don’t do everything right all the time—and neither does anyone else.
If you’ve been consumed with negative thinking and speaking, the pathway to your freedom begins when you face the problem without making excuses for it. Be patient with yourself. As you change your thinking, your words will change and so will your life!
Learning To Like Yourself
(by Joyce Meyer)
Did you know that you and I have to learn to deal with our do separately from our who? The fact is, I don’t do everything right all the time, but that doesn’t affect who I am. I know I’m loved and that I’m still a good person. I’ve made mistakes in my life—and I’m sure I’ll make mistakes in the future—but I still like myself.
If you like yourself—even though others may not—you’ll make it. When you start to like yourself, other people begin to like you too. Liking yourself doesn’t mean you’re full of pride; it simply means you accept yourself as the person God created you to be. We all need changes in our behavior, but accepting ourselves as God’s creation is vital to our progress in becoming an emotionally healthy person. If we can master this one thing—liking ourselves—it will work wonders in helping us to overcome a shame-based nature. Let me explain what I mean.
Many people live under what I call the curse of failure. They can never do anything they set out to do. They’re always failing, always messing up, always getting disappointed, discouraged and depressed. They don’t like who they are because they’ve adopted a shame-based nature.
For a long time I didn’t like my personality, and since my personality is who I am, I didn’t like me. I didn’t want to be as bold and straightforward as I am. I didn’t want to be so direct and blunt. I wanted to be like one of my friends. She had a gift of being sweet, kind and gentle. What I didn’t realize is that she was just born that way—and I wasn’t. Because I didn’t like my personality and who I was, I tried to change myself. I wanted to be more like my friend. I tried to be the perfect woman, the ideal wife and mother who grew her own tomatoes and canned them, made jelly, sewed her family’s clothes, and on and on.
It didn’t work. It was the old story of trying to fit the round peg into the square hole. I was just trying to be something I wasn’t. Finally, I had to learn to accept myself the way I was and let go of the idea of being like someone else. I began to realize that, although I did need to change some areas of my life, who I am will never change.
When a person has a shame-based nature, as I did, it becomes the source or root of many complex inner problems like depression, loneliness, isolation and alienation. All kinds of compulsive disorders are rooted in shame: drug, alcohol and other chemical addictions; eating disorders like bulimia, anorexia, and obesity; money addictions like stinginess and gambling; sexual perversions of all kinds—the list is endless.
For example, workaholism is a very destructive disorder in our society today. There are people who are such workaholics that they can never enjoy life. Unless they’re working day and night, they feel irresponsible. In fact, some people are like I was—if they’re enjoying themselves, they feel guilty about it.
Another example of a destructive disorder is perfectionism. Some people are tormented by perfectionism because of abuse or some other negative situation in their past. They keep trying to be perfect in order to win the attention and affection they feel they were denied. People who live with workaholism and perfectionism set themselves up for failure. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves, and when they ultimately fail, they feel badly about themselves. They make impossible schedules and then make themselves—and everyone else around them—miserable because they’re constantly rushing around.
Workaholics and perfectionists are just two examples of the types of people who really haven’t learned to simply like who they are. Shame, because of something they may have done in their past, has caused them to dislike themselves. Remember, you must separate your do from your who. You’re a unique and special individual, with God-given talents and skills. And even though you may have made mistakes in the past, it’s time to move on and learn to like yourself!
Did you know that you and I have to learn to deal with our do separately from our who? The fact is, I don’t do everything right all the time, but that doesn’t affect who I am. I know I’m loved and that I’m still a good person. I’ve made mistakes in my life—and I’m sure I’ll make mistakes in the future—but I still like myself.
If you like yourself—even though others may not—you’ll make it. When you start to like yourself, other people begin to like you too. Liking yourself doesn’t mean you’re full of pride; it simply means you accept yourself as the person God created you to be. We all need changes in our behavior, but accepting ourselves as God’s creation is vital to our progress in becoming an emotionally healthy person. If we can master this one thing—liking ourselves—it will work wonders in helping us to overcome a shame-based nature. Let me explain what I mean.
Many people live under what I call the curse of failure. They can never do anything they set out to do. They’re always failing, always messing up, always getting disappointed, discouraged and depressed. They don’t like who they are because they’ve adopted a shame-based nature.
For a long time I didn’t like my personality, and since my personality is who I am, I didn’t like me. I didn’t want to be as bold and straightforward as I am. I didn’t want to be so direct and blunt. I wanted to be like one of my friends. She had a gift of being sweet, kind and gentle. What I didn’t realize is that she was just born that way—and I wasn’t. Because I didn’t like my personality and who I was, I tried to change myself. I wanted to be more like my friend. I tried to be the perfect woman, the ideal wife and mother who grew her own tomatoes and canned them, made jelly, sewed her family’s clothes, and on and on.
It didn’t work. It was the old story of trying to fit the round peg into the square hole. I was just trying to be something I wasn’t. Finally, I had to learn to accept myself the way I was and let go of the idea of being like someone else. I began to realize that, although I did need to change some areas of my life, who I am will never change.
When a person has a shame-based nature, as I did, it becomes the source or root of many complex inner problems like depression, loneliness, isolation and alienation. All kinds of compulsive disorders are rooted in shame: drug, alcohol and other chemical addictions; eating disorders like bulimia, anorexia, and obesity; money addictions like stinginess and gambling; sexual perversions of all kinds—the list is endless.
For example, workaholism is a very destructive disorder in our society today. There are people who are such workaholics that they can never enjoy life. Unless they’re working day and night, they feel irresponsible. In fact, some people are like I was—if they’re enjoying themselves, they feel guilty about it.
Another example of a destructive disorder is perfectionism. Some people are tormented by perfectionism because of abuse or some other negative situation in their past. They keep trying to be perfect in order to win the attention and affection they feel they were denied. People who live with workaholism and perfectionism set themselves up for failure. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves, and when they ultimately fail, they feel badly about themselves. They make impossible schedules and then make themselves—and everyone else around them—miserable because they’re constantly rushing around.
Workaholics and perfectionists are just two examples of the types of people who really haven’t learned to simply like who they are. Shame, because of something they may have done in their past, has caused them to dislike themselves. Remember, you must separate your do from your who. You’re a unique and special individual, with God-given talents and skills. And even though you may have made mistakes in the past, it’s time to move on and learn to like yourself!
I'm OK and I'm On My Way!
(by Joyce Meyer)
The expression “nobody’s perfect” is used or heard almost every day, but it’s true—I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect, nobody’s perfect. Hopefully, though, we’re all getting better and are on our way to perfection. The important thing to remember is that even though we’re not yet perfect, we’re still OK. Just because we haven’t arrived yet doesn’t mean that we’re not on our way.
It’s true that we all still have a long way to go. I used to get discouraged about how far I had to go, and it seemed like I was reminded of it every day, sometimes every hour. I carried a constant sense of failure—a feeling that I just wasn’t who I needed to be, I wasn’t doing good enough, and I needed to try harder. Yet when I did try harder, I only failed again.
I’ve now adopted a new attitude: “I’m not where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be. I’m OK, and I’m on my way!” I now know with all my heart that God isn’t angry with me just because I haven’t arrived yet. He’s pleased that I’m pressing on and staying on the path. If you and I will just “keep on keeping on,” God will be pleased with our progress.
Keep walking the walk one step at a time. This is an important thing to remember. It’s true that we have to keep pressing on, but thank God we don’t have to hate or reject ourselves while we’re trying to get to our destination.
If I invited you to take a walk, you’d think I was crazy if I became angry after the first few steps because we hadn’t yet arrived at our destination. We can understand ordinary things like this, yet we have a difficult time understanding that God expects it to take some time for us to grow spiritually.
We don’t think there’s something wrong with one-year-old children because they can’t walk perfectly. They fall down frequently, but we pick them up, love them, bandage them if necessary, and keep working with them. Surely our heavenly Father can do even more for us than we do for our children.
The process is always difficult. Growing and learning is never easy, but the changes make us better people. We begin to think differently, then to talk differently, and finally, to act differently. This process develops in stages, and we must always remember that while it’s taking place, we can have the attitude, “I’m OK, and I’m on my way!”
Enjoy yourself while you’re changing. Enjoy where you are on the way to where you’re going. Enjoy the journey! Don’t waste all of your “now time” trying to rush into the future. Remember, tomorrow will have troubles of its own (Matthew 6:34).
Today you may be wrestling with a bad temper, thinking if you could just get freedom in this area, everything would be all right. But the thing is, God will then reveal something else that needs to be dealt with, and you’ll be back in that same frame of mind again, thinking, “If only I didn’t have this problem, I could be happy.” We must learn to look at these things in a new way.
We can be free to believe that we are, indeed, OK and on our way—not perfected yet, but pressing on. We can be free to enjoy life, enjoy God and enjoy ourselves.
The expression “nobody’s perfect” is used or heard almost every day, but it’s true—I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect, nobody’s perfect. Hopefully, though, we’re all getting better and are on our way to perfection. The important thing to remember is that even though we’re not yet perfect, we’re still OK. Just because we haven’t arrived yet doesn’t mean that we’re not on our way.
It’s true that we all still have a long way to go. I used to get discouraged about how far I had to go, and it seemed like I was reminded of it every day, sometimes every hour. I carried a constant sense of failure—a feeling that I just wasn’t who I needed to be, I wasn’t doing good enough, and I needed to try harder. Yet when I did try harder, I only failed again.
I’ve now adopted a new attitude: “I’m not where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be. I’m OK, and I’m on my way!” I now know with all my heart that God isn’t angry with me just because I haven’t arrived yet. He’s pleased that I’m pressing on and staying on the path. If you and I will just “keep on keeping on,” God will be pleased with our progress.
Keep walking the walk one step at a time. This is an important thing to remember. It’s true that we have to keep pressing on, but thank God we don’t have to hate or reject ourselves while we’re trying to get to our destination.
If I invited you to take a walk, you’d think I was crazy if I became angry after the first few steps because we hadn’t yet arrived at our destination. We can understand ordinary things like this, yet we have a difficult time understanding that God expects it to take some time for us to grow spiritually.
We don’t think there’s something wrong with one-year-old children because they can’t walk perfectly. They fall down frequently, but we pick them up, love them, bandage them if necessary, and keep working with them. Surely our heavenly Father can do even more for us than we do for our children.
The process is always difficult. Growing and learning is never easy, but the changes make us better people. We begin to think differently, then to talk differently, and finally, to act differently. This process develops in stages, and we must always remember that while it’s taking place, we can have the attitude, “I’m OK, and I’m on my way!”
Enjoy yourself while you’re changing. Enjoy where you are on the way to where you’re going. Enjoy the journey! Don’t waste all of your “now time” trying to rush into the future. Remember, tomorrow will have troubles of its own (Matthew 6:34).
Today you may be wrestling with a bad temper, thinking if you could just get freedom in this area, everything would be all right. But the thing is, God will then reveal something else that needs to be dealt with, and you’ll be back in that same frame of mind again, thinking, “If only I didn’t have this problem, I could be happy.” We must learn to look at these things in a new way.
We can be free to believe that we are, indeed, OK and on our way—not perfected yet, but pressing on. We can be free to enjoy life, enjoy God and enjoy ourselves.
How To Be Content
(by Joyce Meyer)
The Bible clearly teaches us to "be content" no matter what our circumstances are. In Philippians 4:11 Paul said, "I have learned in whatsoever state I am in therewith to be content". The Amplified Bible describes being content as "satisfied to the point where you are not disturbed or disquieted". It doesn't say satisfied to the point where you don't want change, but satisfied for now until God brings the change. Philippians 4:6-7 sheds more light in this area by saying, "Have no anxiety about anything, but in all things by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, continue to let God know what you want", and verse 7 "the peace that passes understanding shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". Allow me to paraphrase these scriptures in my language for you. Don't be upset about anything, no matter what is happening. Pray about it, and tell God your need. While you are waiting for God to move, be a very thankful and grateful person for all that God has done for you already. (Note: Let me say here that if God never did one thing for us except write our names in the Lamb's Book of Life, that alone is more than enough.) Being thankful from the heart is necessary for the receiving of God's continued favors in our lives. Then verse 7 says after this:
1. Have no anxiety or care,
2. Tell God your need, and
3. Be thankful.
Then you will have tremendous peace and contentment no matter what state you are in while you are waiting for God to work out His will in your life.
Let us not forget Romans 8:28 that says, "All things work together and are fitting into a plan for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Even the hard times can work into God's perfect plan for your life. Cast your care, and be a thankful person. Take inventory each day of what you have instead of counting up all the things that you have not. Meditate on what God has done in your life instead of what you are still waiting on Him to do. Your flesh wants you to concentrate on what you don't have. Your spirit wants you to ask God for what you don't have, yet concentrate on what you do have.
John 14:27 (Amplified) says, "Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled." Jesus left us a legacy of peace, and He wants us to use it. I have discovered through years of experience, many of these years spent in frustration and discontentment, that the secret of being content is to ask God for what I want, and know that "if it is right" He will bring it to pass "at the right time," and if it isn't right, God will do something much better than what I asked for anyway. We must learn to trust God completely if we ever intend to enjoy peaceful living. It is good to trust God for something, but God is calling His people not only to trust Him "for something," but to trust Him "in everything."
In Genesis 50:20, Joseph, speaking to his brothers who had severely mistreated him, said "As for you, you thought evil against me; but God meant it for good." The very things we think are awful right now, very often can turn out to be a great blessing. The greatest trial can develop in you the greatest faith. God spoke this to my heart a while ago: "Joyce, you see to the end of your nose (which isn't very far), and you assume that anything that doesn't feel good isn't good. But I see from beginning to end because I am The Beginning and The End, and I know many things you don't know." We know in part. God is "The All"
Exercise doesn't feel good, but it is good. When a rebellious child receives a spanking, it doesn't feel good, but it is good. Hebrews 12 teaches us that no chastening for the present seems joyous but grievous, nevertheless, later on it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Perhaps we need to learn to be more concerned with later on than with right now. Hebrews 12 also says that for the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross, despising the shame, but He is now seated at the right hand of God. Let's be willing to endure for a season, if it will seat us at His right hand of authority and power.
In conclusion, let me say that the sum of the whole matter is this: TRUST GOD! Hide yourself in the secret place (in Him). God loves you. He is a good God who only does good things. Be content knowing that His way is perfect, and He brings with Him a great recompense of reward for those who trust in Him.
The Bible clearly teaches us to "be content" no matter what our circumstances are. In Philippians 4:11 Paul said, "I have learned in whatsoever state I am in therewith to be content". The Amplified Bible describes being content as "satisfied to the point where you are not disturbed or disquieted". It doesn't say satisfied to the point where you don't want change, but satisfied for now until God brings the change. Philippians 4:6-7 sheds more light in this area by saying, "Have no anxiety about anything, but in all things by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, continue to let God know what you want", and verse 7 "the peace that passes understanding shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". Allow me to paraphrase these scriptures in my language for you. Don't be upset about anything, no matter what is happening. Pray about it, and tell God your need. While you are waiting for God to move, be a very thankful and grateful person for all that God has done for you already. (Note: Let me say here that if God never did one thing for us except write our names in the Lamb's Book of Life, that alone is more than enough.) Being thankful from the heart is necessary for the receiving of God's continued favors in our lives. Then verse 7 says after this:
1. Have no anxiety or care,
2. Tell God your need, and
3. Be thankful.
Then you will have tremendous peace and contentment no matter what state you are in while you are waiting for God to work out His will in your life.
Let us not forget Romans 8:28 that says, "All things work together and are fitting into a plan for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Even the hard times can work into God's perfect plan for your life. Cast your care, and be a thankful person. Take inventory each day of what you have instead of counting up all the things that you have not. Meditate on what God has done in your life instead of what you are still waiting on Him to do. Your flesh wants you to concentrate on what you don't have. Your spirit wants you to ask God for what you don't have, yet concentrate on what you do have.
John 14:27 (Amplified) says, "Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled." Jesus left us a legacy of peace, and He wants us to use it. I have discovered through years of experience, many of these years spent in frustration and discontentment, that the secret of being content is to ask God for what I want, and know that "if it is right" He will bring it to pass "at the right time," and if it isn't right, God will do something much better than what I asked for anyway. We must learn to trust God completely if we ever intend to enjoy peaceful living. It is good to trust God for something, but God is calling His people not only to trust Him "for something," but to trust Him "in everything."
In Genesis 50:20, Joseph, speaking to his brothers who had severely mistreated him, said "As for you, you thought evil against me; but God meant it for good." The very things we think are awful right now, very often can turn out to be a great blessing. The greatest trial can develop in you the greatest faith. God spoke this to my heart a while ago: "Joyce, you see to the end of your nose (which isn't very far), and you assume that anything that doesn't feel good isn't good. But I see from beginning to end because I am The Beginning and The End, and I know many things you don't know." We know in part. God is "The All"
Exercise doesn't feel good, but it is good. When a rebellious child receives a spanking, it doesn't feel good, but it is good. Hebrews 12 teaches us that no chastening for the present seems joyous but grievous, nevertheless, later on it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Perhaps we need to learn to be more concerned with later on than with right now. Hebrews 12 also says that for the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross, despising the shame, but He is now seated at the right hand of God. Let's be willing to endure for a season, if it will seat us at His right hand of authority and power.
In conclusion, let me say that the sum of the whole matter is this: TRUST GOD! Hide yourself in the secret place (in Him). God loves you. He is a good God who only does good things. Be content knowing that His way is perfect, and He brings with Him a great recompense of reward for those who trust in Him.
How Do You See Yourself?
(by Joyce Meyer)
Do you like yourself? After years of trying to help people emotionally, mentally, spiritually and socially, it was a major breakthrough when I discovered that most people really don’t like themselves. Some of them know it, while others don’t even have a clue that this is probably the root of so many other problems in their lives.
God wants us to have great relationships, but self-rejection and even self-hatred are the roots of many relationship problems. In fact, I’ve found the Bible to be a book about relationships, providing valuable advice about my relationship with God, other people and even myself.
How are the relationships with other people in your life? What about your relationship with God…and even with yourself?
Did it ever occur to you that you have a relationship with yourself? While I’ve never given it much thought, I spend more time with myself than with anyone, and it’s vital to get along well with me. Remember, you are the one person you never get away from.
We all know how agonizing it is to work day after day with someone we don’t get along with, but at least that person doesn’t come home with us at night. We can’t get away from ourselves, not even for one second, so it’s of the utmost importance that we have peace with ourselves.
Many of us fall prey to self-rejection because we feel that nobody really loves us or accepts us. We figure that if nobody else loves us, then why should we love ourselves? Because we think others don’t love us, we feel that we must not be worth loving. But that’s a LIE we’ve believed for way too long!
We should love ourselves—not in a selfish, self-centered way that produces a lifestyle of self-indulgence, but in a balanced, godly way that affirms God’s creation as essentially good and right. We may be flawed by unfortunate experiences we’ve gone through, but that doesn’t mean we’re worthless and good-for-nothing.
We must have the kind of love for ourselves that says, “I know God loves me, so I can love what God chooses to love. I don’t love everything I do, but I accept myself because God accepts me.” We must develop the kind of mature love that says, “I know I need to change, and I want to change. In fact, I believe God is changing me daily, but during this process, I will not reject what God accepts. I’ll accept myself as I am right now, knowing that I will not always remain this way.”
Many times people who reject themselves do so because they can’t see themselves as good, proper, or right. They fail to see themselves the way God sees them—as precious children He dearly loves.
As you begin to see yourself through God’s eyes—someone who’s loved and cherished—your view of yourself will begin to change. You’ll begin to see yourself not as rejected, but as loved and accepted…unique and beautiful in His sight.
Do you like yourself? After years of trying to help people emotionally, mentally, spiritually and socially, it was a major breakthrough when I discovered that most people really don’t like themselves. Some of them know it, while others don’t even have a clue that this is probably the root of so many other problems in their lives.
God wants us to have great relationships, but self-rejection and even self-hatred are the roots of many relationship problems. In fact, I’ve found the Bible to be a book about relationships, providing valuable advice about my relationship with God, other people and even myself.
How are the relationships with other people in your life? What about your relationship with God…and even with yourself?
Did it ever occur to you that you have a relationship with yourself? While I’ve never given it much thought, I spend more time with myself than with anyone, and it’s vital to get along well with me. Remember, you are the one person you never get away from.
We all know how agonizing it is to work day after day with someone we don’t get along with, but at least that person doesn’t come home with us at night. We can’t get away from ourselves, not even for one second, so it’s of the utmost importance that we have peace with ourselves.
Many of us fall prey to self-rejection because we feel that nobody really loves us or accepts us. We figure that if nobody else loves us, then why should we love ourselves? Because we think others don’t love us, we feel that we must not be worth loving. But that’s a LIE we’ve believed for way too long!
We should love ourselves—not in a selfish, self-centered way that produces a lifestyle of self-indulgence, but in a balanced, godly way that affirms God’s creation as essentially good and right. We may be flawed by unfortunate experiences we’ve gone through, but that doesn’t mean we’re worthless and good-for-nothing.
We must have the kind of love for ourselves that says, “I know God loves me, so I can love what God chooses to love. I don’t love everything I do, but I accept myself because God accepts me.” We must develop the kind of mature love that says, “I know I need to change, and I want to change. In fact, I believe God is changing me daily, but during this process, I will not reject what God accepts. I’ll accept myself as I am right now, knowing that I will not always remain this way.”
Many times people who reject themselves do so because they can’t see themselves as good, proper, or right. They fail to see themselves the way God sees them—as precious children He dearly loves.
As you begin to see yourself through God’s eyes—someone who’s loved and cherished—your view of yourself will begin to change. You’ll begin to see yourself not as rejected, but as loved and accepted…unique and beautiful in His sight.
Do You Feel Rejected?
(by Joyce Meyer)
The Lord gave this Word to me as I was preparing for one of my conferences, and I believe He wants me to share it with you. He said:
“So many are in prison because they won't accept themselves. So many are so gifted and talented, but they won't express themselves because they fear rejection. They fear man. They fear what people will think. I want to love My people, but they hold Me at arms length and won't let Me really love them because they have been hurt by others. They fear I will reject them because of their weaknesses—like people have—but I will never reject them. Tell them I love them. Ask them to stop trying so hard to be acceptable to Me and to realize I accept them where they are. Tell them I don't want perfect performance from them. I want them to love Me and to let Me love them."
The Lord’s been having me minister to the body of believers concerning how He looks for a perfect heart and not perfect performance. We won’t impress God with our works unless our heart is pure. A lot of people think God won't use them until every area of their life is perfected. That type of thinking keeps people from allowing God to use them. He uses us in spite of us, not because of us. This doesn't mean that we should have a loose attitude and not desire to live a holy life. A person whose heart is perfect toward God is always going to earnestly and zealously desire to please God in all things. But we must also remember that Hebrews 4:15 teaches us that …we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. Verse 16 encourages us, in light of verse 15, to draw near to God's throne and receive mercy for our failures and to go ahead and get grace to help us in our time of need. This is one of God's ways of saying He won't reject you because of your weaknesses or mistakes.
Most of us have grown up on a "merry-go-round" of trying to please people so they won't reject us. We all have an inbred need to be loved. People usually love you based on your performance. If you do what they want you to do, they accept you; but if you don't, they reject you. This is the operation of human love, and none of us know how to do anything else until we taste God's agape love that’s not based on man's performance but is based only on God. He loves you and accepts you because He decided to, not because of what you do or don’t do. Once again let me say, this doesn't mean you shouldn't desire holiness; but you'll never arrive at new levels of holiness if you think God rejects you and withholds His love every time you fail. Remember Hebrews 4:15,16. He knows you're weak, so admit that you are and let Him help you anyway.
2 Chronicles 16:9 says, ...the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to [show] himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him…(KJV).
1 Corinthians 1:27-29 says that God purposely chooses the weak and foolish things of the world to confound the wise.
I would, in my natural thinking, think that He would look for a perfect specimen—someone who has it all together, a strong person who’d never fail Him or let Him down. But instead He looks for a person whose heart is perfect toward Him.
God desires to heal His people from past hurts caused by rejection. He wants you to know He will never reject you. He says in Matthew 11:28, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (NKJV). This is referring to those who are laboring at trying to be perfect and then beating themselves with guilty feelings when they fail.
Jesus was talking to the people who were trying to live under the laws of the Pharisees. It takes a lot to please a Pharisee, and they’re still around today. I'm sure you know one—someone who conveys to you the message, "I'll accept you if you perform perfectly and please me. I'll reject you and withhold my love if you don't."
Jesus isn’t a Pharisee. He says in John 3:18 that he who believes in Him will never be rejected. Believe in Him, love Him and desire His will. You'll be off to a good start. He’ll bring you across the finish line. And remember, you may not be performing perfectly, but if you have a perfect heart toward Him, He counts you as perfect while you’re making the trip. Oh yes, one main thing I need to say: Be sure you are not a Pharisee. God has placed people all around you who need love and acceptance. Give it to them, and you'll help them become the best person they can be.
The Lord gave this Word to me as I was preparing for one of my conferences, and I believe He wants me to share it with you. He said:
“So many are in prison because they won't accept themselves. So many are so gifted and talented, but they won't express themselves because they fear rejection. They fear man. They fear what people will think. I want to love My people, but they hold Me at arms length and won't let Me really love them because they have been hurt by others. They fear I will reject them because of their weaknesses—like people have—but I will never reject them. Tell them I love them. Ask them to stop trying so hard to be acceptable to Me and to realize I accept them where they are. Tell them I don't want perfect performance from them. I want them to love Me and to let Me love them."
The Lord’s been having me minister to the body of believers concerning how He looks for a perfect heart and not perfect performance. We won’t impress God with our works unless our heart is pure. A lot of people think God won't use them until every area of their life is perfected. That type of thinking keeps people from allowing God to use them. He uses us in spite of us, not because of us. This doesn't mean that we should have a loose attitude and not desire to live a holy life. A person whose heart is perfect toward God is always going to earnestly and zealously desire to please God in all things. But we must also remember that Hebrews 4:15 teaches us that …we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. Verse 16 encourages us, in light of verse 15, to draw near to God's throne and receive mercy for our failures and to go ahead and get grace to help us in our time of need. This is one of God's ways of saying He won't reject you because of your weaknesses or mistakes.
Most of us have grown up on a "merry-go-round" of trying to please people so they won't reject us. We all have an inbred need to be loved. People usually love you based on your performance. If you do what they want you to do, they accept you; but if you don't, they reject you. This is the operation of human love, and none of us know how to do anything else until we taste God's agape love that’s not based on man's performance but is based only on God. He loves you and accepts you because He decided to, not because of what you do or don’t do. Once again let me say, this doesn't mean you shouldn't desire holiness; but you'll never arrive at new levels of holiness if you think God rejects you and withholds His love every time you fail. Remember Hebrews 4:15,16. He knows you're weak, so admit that you are and let Him help you anyway.
2 Chronicles 16:9 says, ...the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to [show] himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him…(KJV).
1 Corinthians 1:27-29 says that God purposely chooses the weak and foolish things of the world to confound the wise.
I would, in my natural thinking, think that He would look for a perfect specimen—someone who has it all together, a strong person who’d never fail Him or let Him down. But instead He looks for a person whose heart is perfect toward Him.
God desires to heal His people from past hurts caused by rejection. He wants you to know He will never reject you. He says in Matthew 11:28, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (NKJV). This is referring to those who are laboring at trying to be perfect and then beating themselves with guilty feelings when they fail.
Jesus was talking to the people who were trying to live under the laws of the Pharisees. It takes a lot to please a Pharisee, and they’re still around today. I'm sure you know one—someone who conveys to you the message, "I'll accept you if you perform perfectly and please me. I'll reject you and withhold my love if you don't."
Jesus isn’t a Pharisee. He says in John 3:18 that he who believes in Him will never be rejected. Believe in Him, love Him and desire His will. You'll be off to a good start. He’ll bring you across the finish line. And remember, you may not be performing perfectly, but if you have a perfect heart toward Him, He counts you as perfect while you’re making the trip. Oh yes, one main thing I need to say: Be sure you are not a Pharisee. God has placed people all around you who need love and acceptance. Give it to them, and you'll help them become the best person they can be.
Dare To Be Different!
(by Joyce Meyer)
Are you tired of playing games, wearing masks or trying to be someone other than yourself? Wouldn't you like the freedom to just be accepted for who you are, without the pressure to be someone you really don't know how to be? Would you like to learn how to embrace your uniqueness and resist the pull to be like everyone else? God knew what He was doing when He made you. You are a unique individual—God created you the way you are! It's time that we dare to accept ourselves as different and stop being insecure about who we are.
If you’re going to overcome insecurities and be the person God’s called you to be, you must have the courage to be different. Unhappiness and frustration happen when we reject our uniqueness and try to be like each other. If you’re going to be successful at being completely you, then you’re going to have to take a chance on not being like everyone else. You must ask yourself, Am I a people pleaser or a God pleaser?
Becoming a people pleaser is one of the easiest things we can do...but it can ultimately make us very unhappy. When we begin pleasing others, we begin to hear comments that make us feel good about ourselves. That’s okay as long as we don't derive our sense of worth from it. People are too fickle for us to place our sense of worth in their opinions. We’re worth something because God says we're worth something—not because of what people think or say about us.
People pleasers allow others to control their lives in order to gain acceptance and approval. But God doesn't want us to be easily manipulated or controlled by others. We shouldn't let other people's opinions of us control our actions.
At the same time, we must walk in love. We can't just do anything we want, whenever we want, with total disregard for the feelings of others. We can't say, "I'm going to do this, and if you don't like it, that's tough—that's your problem!" The Bible commands us to love others, and love doesn't behave that way. However, we must not allow people to manipulate and control us to the point that we’re never free to be who we are. If we do, we’ll always try to become the person we think others expect us to be.
The world (those we know and deal with on a daily basis who may be family, friends, people in the neighborhood or even in the church) is continually trying to conform us to its image. The word conform means "to be similar in form or character; to behave in accordance with prevailing modes or customs.” Romans 12:2 says, Do not be conformed to this world (this age),…but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind…It’s then that we find the good and acceptable will of God for our lives.
People will always try to fit us into their mold, partly due to their own insecurity. It makes them feel better about what they are doing if they can get someone else to do it too. Very few people have the ability to be who they are and let everybody else be who they are. Can you imagine how nice the world would be if we would all do that? Each person would be secure in who he is and let others be who they are. We would not have to try to be imitations of each other.
God wants to take us, with all our weaknesses and inabilities, and transform us, by working from the inside out, to do something powerful in this earth. If we’re going to overcome insecurities and succeed at being ourselves, we can't continue to be afraid of what everybody else may think. We can't continue to allow others to fit us into their mold. We are different! We are unique! God created us this way to accomplish His purposes here on earth.
Are you tired of playing games, wearing masks or trying to be someone other than yourself? Wouldn't you like the freedom to just be accepted for who you are, without the pressure to be someone you really don't know how to be? Would you like to learn how to embrace your uniqueness and resist the pull to be like everyone else? God knew what He was doing when He made you. You are a unique individual—God created you the way you are! It's time that we dare to accept ourselves as different and stop being insecure about who we are.
If you’re going to overcome insecurities and be the person God’s called you to be, you must have the courage to be different. Unhappiness and frustration happen when we reject our uniqueness and try to be like each other. If you’re going to be successful at being completely you, then you’re going to have to take a chance on not being like everyone else. You must ask yourself, Am I a people pleaser or a God pleaser?
Becoming a people pleaser is one of the easiest things we can do...but it can ultimately make us very unhappy. When we begin pleasing others, we begin to hear comments that make us feel good about ourselves. That’s okay as long as we don't derive our sense of worth from it. People are too fickle for us to place our sense of worth in their opinions. We’re worth something because God says we're worth something—not because of what people think or say about us.
People pleasers allow others to control their lives in order to gain acceptance and approval. But God doesn't want us to be easily manipulated or controlled by others. We shouldn't let other people's opinions of us control our actions.
At the same time, we must walk in love. We can't just do anything we want, whenever we want, with total disregard for the feelings of others. We can't say, "I'm going to do this, and if you don't like it, that's tough—that's your problem!" The Bible commands us to love others, and love doesn't behave that way. However, we must not allow people to manipulate and control us to the point that we’re never free to be who we are. If we do, we’ll always try to become the person we think others expect us to be.
The world (those we know and deal with on a daily basis who may be family, friends, people in the neighborhood or even in the church) is continually trying to conform us to its image. The word conform means "to be similar in form or character; to behave in accordance with prevailing modes or customs.” Romans 12:2 says, Do not be conformed to this world (this age),…but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind…It’s then that we find the good and acceptable will of God for our lives.
People will always try to fit us into their mold, partly due to their own insecurity. It makes them feel better about what they are doing if they can get someone else to do it too. Very few people have the ability to be who they are and let everybody else be who they are. Can you imagine how nice the world would be if we would all do that? Each person would be secure in who he is and let others be who they are. We would not have to try to be imitations of each other.
God wants to take us, with all our weaknesses and inabilities, and transform us, by working from the inside out, to do something powerful in this earth. If we’re going to overcome insecurities and succeed at being ourselves, we can't continue to be afraid of what everybody else may think. We can't continue to allow others to fit us into their mold. We are different! We are unique! God created us this way to accomplish His purposes here on earth.
How To Succeed At Being Yourself
(by Joyce Meyer)
It’s tough to enjoy life when you don’t like yourself. People who haven’t learned to accept and get along with themselves tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with others. Yet, the Bible repeatedly tells us to “love your neighbor as yourself.” I personally spent years having a hard time getting along with people, until I finally realized through the Word of God how my difficulty with other people was actually “rooted” in my difficulties with myself.
The Bible says a good tree will bear good fruit, and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit. Likewise, the “fruit” of our lives comes from the “root” within us. If you're rooted in shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love and acceptance, etc., the fruit of your relationships will suffer. However, once you have a revelation of God’s unconditional love for you and begin to accept yourself and others, eventually these new roots will produce good fruit, and your relationships will thrive.
Here are a few tips I believe will help you succeed at being yourself.
1. Never say or think negative things about yourself, such as, "I never do anything right." “I'll never change.” “I'm ugly.” “I look terrible.” “I'm dumb.” “Who could ever love me?” Matthew 12:37 says, ...by your words you will be justified..., and by your words you will be condemned…. Proverbs 23:7 says, …as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he. (KJV). In other words, the way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about ourselves.
2. Speak good things about yourself (as private confessions) in line with what the Word says about you. For example: "I am the righteousness of God in Christ.” “I am made acceptable in the Beloved.” “God created me and formed me with His own hands, and God doesn't make mistakes." I like starting the day making good confessions. Perhaps you can do this while you're driving to work or cleaning house. I also encourage you to look in the mirror and say out loud, "God loves and accepts you, and so do I." You may even try hugging yourself. This is beneficial to people who have lacked love and acceptance in their lives.
3. Never compare yourself with other people. God must love variety or He wouldn't have created us all differently—even down to our fingerprints. You'll never succeed at being yourself if you're trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you, but duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your individual personality.
4. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations. Actress Helen Hayes was told early in her career that if she were four inches taller she’d be the greatest actress of her time. Her coaches tried various methods of stretching her, but nothing increased her height. She refused to concentrate on the supposed limitation of being five feet tall and decided to concentrate on her potential. As a result, she was eventually cast as Mary, Queen of Scotland—one of the tallest queens who ever lived.
5. Find something you like to do that you do well, and do it over and over. If you spend your time doing things you're not good at, it’ll frustrate you and cause you to feel defeated and unsuccessful.
6. Have the courage to be different and deal with criticism. Be a God-pleaser, not a man-pleaser (see Galatians 1:10). If you dare to be different, you’ll have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd—when you know in your heart God’s leading you a different way—is one reason people don't succeed at being themselves. You won't like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions.
7. Don't let the way another person treats you determine your worth.
8. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence, but they concentrate on their strengths—not their flaws or weaknesses.
In conclusion, let me remind you of my opening statement: It’s tough to enjoy life when you don’t like yourself. When you learn to succeed at being yourself, you’ll be well on your way to enjoying life more fully.
It’s tough to enjoy life when you don’t like yourself. People who haven’t learned to accept and get along with themselves tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with others. Yet, the Bible repeatedly tells us to “love your neighbor as yourself.” I personally spent years having a hard time getting along with people, until I finally realized through the Word of God how my difficulty with other people was actually “rooted” in my difficulties with myself.
The Bible says a good tree will bear good fruit, and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit. Likewise, the “fruit” of our lives comes from the “root” within us. If you're rooted in shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love and acceptance, etc., the fruit of your relationships will suffer. However, once you have a revelation of God’s unconditional love for you and begin to accept yourself and others, eventually these new roots will produce good fruit, and your relationships will thrive.
Here are a few tips I believe will help you succeed at being yourself.
1. Never say or think negative things about yourself, such as, "I never do anything right." “I'll never change.” “I'm ugly.” “I look terrible.” “I'm dumb.” “Who could ever love me?” Matthew 12:37 says, ...by your words you will be justified..., and by your words you will be condemned…. Proverbs 23:7 says, …as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he. (KJV). In other words, the way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about ourselves.
2. Speak good things about yourself (as private confessions) in line with what the Word says about you. For example: "I am the righteousness of God in Christ.” “I am made acceptable in the Beloved.” “God created me and formed me with His own hands, and God doesn't make mistakes." I like starting the day making good confessions. Perhaps you can do this while you're driving to work or cleaning house. I also encourage you to look in the mirror and say out loud, "God loves and accepts you, and so do I." You may even try hugging yourself. This is beneficial to people who have lacked love and acceptance in their lives.
3. Never compare yourself with other people. God must love variety or He wouldn't have created us all differently—even down to our fingerprints. You'll never succeed at being yourself if you're trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you, but duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your individual personality.
4. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations. Actress Helen Hayes was told early in her career that if she were four inches taller she’d be the greatest actress of her time. Her coaches tried various methods of stretching her, but nothing increased her height. She refused to concentrate on the supposed limitation of being five feet tall and decided to concentrate on her potential. As a result, she was eventually cast as Mary, Queen of Scotland—one of the tallest queens who ever lived.
5. Find something you like to do that you do well, and do it over and over. If you spend your time doing things you're not good at, it’ll frustrate you and cause you to feel defeated and unsuccessful.
6. Have the courage to be different and deal with criticism. Be a God-pleaser, not a man-pleaser (see Galatians 1:10). If you dare to be different, you’ll have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd—when you know in your heart God’s leading you a different way—is one reason people don't succeed at being themselves. You won't like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions.
7. Don't let the way another person treats you determine your worth.
8. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence, but they concentrate on their strengths—not their flaws or weaknesses.
In conclusion, let me remind you of my opening statement: It’s tough to enjoy life when you don’t like yourself. When you learn to succeed at being yourself, you’ll be well on your way to enjoying life more fully.
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