It's Going To Be Ok. Keep On Going!

The major difference between average people and achieving people is their perspective of and response to failure. In other words, how I see failure going in, how I respond to failure coming out. Now, we want learn three lesson about it!

Lesson no 1

I have also discovered about failure and problems that our perspective changes tremendously if it is someone else's problem with failure, versus my problem for failure. It's the old joke, major surgery, minor surgery. You know minor surgery is when it's on you and major surgery is when it's on me.

My dad loves to tell this joke about two men who were talking. 

One guy says, "I lost my job."

The other guy says, "Well, it could be worse."

Choose to Live Extraordinarily

(By Cliff Young - Crosswalk.Com)

This profound statement was made by the man who led a resistance during the Wars of Scottish Independence, depicted in the movie Braveheart. He was speaking not to seasoned warriors, but rather fellow farmers, tradesmen and landowners, as he challenged these simple men to step out from their rather routine lives to do something extraordinary—to stand up and fight against the tyranny of the English.

Likewise, God calls each of us—many out of what we think are our mundane everyday lives—to do something extraordinary, to really live for Him.

“We pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1:10).

Braveheart was shown at the outset of my church’s men’s retreat to encourage and inspire us, the biblically-called leaders in our church, to not accept the status quo of life but to lead and to live a life abundantly.

As believers and as Americans, we are blessed to have endless freedoms, a lengthy life span and the knowledge of eternal life. This gives us the foundation and capacity to change the world, if we choose. However, Ralph Waldo Emerson cautions, “It is not length of life, but depth of life.”

Who and what are you living for? How deep are you choosing to live your life?

A Life Worth Living

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
—William James

I recently saw a heartbreaking, yet encouraging short video called 99 Balloons where this statement was extraordinarily lived out. It can be viewed here.

This documentary chronicled the story of Eliot Mooney, a baby stricken with Trisomy 18 or Edward’s syndrome, a genetic disorder. Most fetuses diagnosed with this illness rarely survive to birth, Eliot did.

His parents, Matt and Ginny Mooney, lived by the aphorism, “You can’t change what happens, it’s all about how you choose to live your day.” What they chose was to celebrate each day of the life of their son, documenting it with a letter to him.

The Mooney’s story is not only inspirational, but serves as a lesson for us to receive and live every day as a gift from God.

Their story has been viewed by millions of people, and in Eliot’s short life of 99 days, he has probably touched more lives around the world than many of us will in 99 years.

Oftentimes it is difficult to find any positives throughout a day (especially from the media), and it becomes almost customary to focus on the negatives in our life. However, don’t allow your circumstances to dictate how you see your life or how you live your life. Our outlook, even in the direst of situations, can inspire, encourage and lead others to greatness.

“I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received” (Ephesians 4:1).

Invest in Others

Focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life’s purpose.
—Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Through his best-selling book, Pastor Rick Warren changed the way many of us looked at ourselves by reminding us our life is not about us.

However, in the midst of all of the challenges we face each day—professionally, relationally and economically, it is sometimes difficult to take our eyes off of ourselves and to focus on a greater purpose. It’s similar to driving in a snow storm at night. Most of your attention becomes fixated on the falling snow in the headlights, rather than on the road and where you are headed.

I am reminded of a man who was personally and professionally in financial ruins. He was trying to support his family, had no money to his name, deficient funds in his business and was told he was worth more dead than alive. His name was George Bailey, the banker and protagonist in Frank Capra’s movie, It’s a Wonderful Life.

At the depth of his despair, George cried out, “Dear Father in Heaven, show me the way.” Despondently, he resigned himself to the thought, “I wish I was never born.” Through an angel named Clarence, George was given the chance to see what the world would have been like had he not been born.

Like George, have you ever wondered if you really mattered? Felt insignificant as an adult? Questioned if your life has made a substantial difference?

A sense that we don’t measure up due to a lack of something (i.e. spouse, family, material possessions, thriving career, looks, money, etc.) is just a misguided thought from the enemy to destroy our confidence and faith. Our indiscriminate feelings of doubt, inadequacy, unimportance and irrelevance are tools he uses to keep us from living our lives to the fullest.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal” (Matthew 6:19-20).

Besides storing up treasures, we shouldn’t be worrying and consuming ourselves with gaining treasures on earth, but rather investing into people’s lives and souls, which are treasures in heaven.

On George Bailey’s journey through a world void of his life, he made a significant discovery. He had positively impacted many people’s lives and changed a community for the better through his honesty, kindness, and concern for others. Although he didn’t possess a great deal monetarily or materially, he had the respect, support and love of family and friends.

The antithesis to George Bailey in today’s world is Bernie Madoff, the billionaire financier who committed the largest investment fraud in history. He defrauded nearly $65 billion from his clients and with it purchased treasures on earth for himself. At his recent sentencing, not one person stood up nor spoke up for him. He is currently serving a 150-year sentence in federal prison.

If we were afforded the gift of seeing what our life has meant to the lives of others, I wonder how many of us would be surprised at how even a small act of kindness or word of encouragement had impacted those around us. It may even encourage us to do more, to the point of living more purposefully.

What I find most exciting (and agonizing at times) about living a life as a believer are the unknowns, stressful as they are. However, when I am able to take my mind off of myself (and my worries), cherish and celebrate each day, and search for opportunities to touch and impact others, the anxieties of my unknowns seem to fade away. I begin living outside of my comfort zone and within God’s. I begin to live an extraordinary life.

May you live every day of your life.

While You Are Waiting

There are moments in our life when we feel like we're in a waiting room.
Moments between our previous achieved goal (or finished journey) and the next destination.

Those are moments when daily things happen as usual... but there's nothing (according to our point of view) happen regarding to our next goal...
No open door ...yet
No shining chance ...yet
No signs...

...Everything just feels so silent...

And we don't know what to do
Sometimes even feel useless because it feels like we're idle

That's what I'm (kind of) going through right now

But He reminds me that it's not my idle time
Instead, this is a time for me to keep learning things I want to learn
Time for me to strengthen my faith muscles
Time to discern which thoughts I can allow to stick in my mind and thoughts I should throw away

Usually idle times ease a great war in our mind
...and it's not a chance to give up nor to be ignorant
But it's time for us to make sure that we're doing everything we can (in wisdom)
So that we will come out as a winner in Him

So...
Let's build and strengthen our body now
So that in time
We will be able to fly high

"Blessed [is] the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit."
(Jeremiah 17:7-8) - NKJV

Jiayouuuu!!!!

Double Standard = Insecurity

Yesterday because of a conversation among my friends, I realized that I have a problem... which is a relieve because I've been feeling uneasy and have unspeakable questions on my mind about certain things in my life. Now since I have known the root of my problem, I can start to put His Words to me into action...

Yap, He has already given me the solution before I knew what exactly my problem is... You're so amazing God... Thank You...

The root of my problem is because I have my own standard about how things should be like in my life. There are few areas where I still hold on to my own standard and when my current condition doesn't reflect that standard (I don't achieve what I thought I should have achieved by now or I don't be in a position where I thought I should have been by now), I get confused, insecure, and begin questioning myself and God.

It's true what has been said in Isaiah 55:8, "'For My thoughts [are] not your thoughts, Nor [are] your ways My ways,' says the LORD".

It's undeniable fact that each of us have our own standards about the best timing, the best achievement, the best job, the best income or salary rate, etc... Although what we have is probably a good life standard (at least according to our point of view), but still... often it doesn't in line with His standard. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, no matter how big our hope (and how often we pray) to achieve something that goes with our standard, it just can't happen in the present time...

And the questions begin to rambling around in our heads...
"Am I too late to do this thing? Why didn't I do this earlier?"
"Have I been so stupid before? Maybe it wouldn't have to be this way if I tried harder..."
"Have I made a mistake and careless with my previous decisions that brought me to this position right now?"
"Did I lack of motivations? I thought I should be better than my dad, but look at me now... I even couldn't make him proud of me..."

Maybe you also have similar or other questions...
Well, I think the main problem is that we don't get what we want/wish, based on our standard...

We might be forget that our life is a life we live in Him... It means, if we grow in His truth and grow to become closer in our relationship with Him, naturally, His thoughts will be our thoughts, and we will be able to easily surrender our thoughts/will/hope that isn't come from Him. This is possible because we are created according to His image.

So, the only one standard we must hold on to is His standard...
If we keep our eyes on Him and keep growing in His love and His truth, then, no matter what mistakes we have done in our past, He will lead us in His way to fulfill our destiny according to His plan. This is very possible since He is the Only Mighty God who always in control...

So there's no reason for us to be despair and stuck in our place right now with a painful headache because we think we are the one who have to fix and keep up with everything. In fact, we just need to do the first thing first, and the rest will follow... =)

Watch Your Self Talk and Apply Gratitude

Our self talk often goes undetected. Words we tell to ourselves like:

- I can't beat his/her skill
- I am a miserable man/woman, and always be like that
- I hate her/him for hurting me, no, I can't forgive her/him
- I'm a shy person, and I'm gonna stay this way
- she/he is so annoying, why can't she/he listen to me and do what I suggest?
- This trouble is too big, I can't handle this, whatever!
- etc

Our self talk could be about ourselves, our husband/wife, our friend, other people, or about condition/situation. It could be a condemnation, assumption, thoughts, or things we say to control our actions and reactions. And like any other talk, it could be positive or negative. But the most important thing that we should ask ourselves whenever we realize that we have our self talk is, whether it is in line with God's truth or not.

I has just realized that I have many wrong self talks, assumptions, jealousy, self-pity, and ignorance... If I didn't examine my self talk, they would go unnoticed for sure... and I would lose my chance to check myself and to fix my mindset.

Yesterday I read someone's writing, he shared about what he was doing to examine his self talk. He brought a little notepad and a pen, and he wrote every self talk that went on his mind about everything. How he was surprised to found that he had bad thoughts about his marriage, his wife, his job, and everything else... those little thoughts could sum up and become bigger and bigger, and at the end it has the potential to break or corrupt his own life...

We have to master our mind and submit it to God. Beside apply His words of truth into our mind, we have to make sure that we have a gratitude mindset.

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18

Paul is not telling you to be thankful for all the bad things that happen in your life, but rather we are to be thankful in our circumstances. There is a major difference between being thankful for every situation in life and being thankful in those situations. He challenges us to find reasons to be thankful even in the worst of struggles. Your circumstances might not change, but your attitude toward them can change, and that will make all the difference

We can simply focusing on the many things in our life for which we can be thankful. And making notes of them might help a lot... since we tend to forget the simple things...

You know, there are times when I ask, "What Your will for me God? Please lead me and show me Your will in my life..." I usually ask that question on specific things, but after I read that verse, apparently He had answered the basic of my question... His will for me is to have a gratitude life...

What are Your God-Given Abilities?

(by Dan Miller)

Remember when God spoke to Moses at the burning bush? God told Moses he wanted him to go back to Egypt and lead the people out to the promised land. Moses looked and said – “You’ve got to be kidding – I’m not the person for a job like that.” God assured Moses he would prepare the way and he would provide some pretty convincing miracles. Still Moses had a hard time believing he was up to the task. He pleaded – “I can’t speak well, I don’t have a college degree, I’m a convicted felon – please, send anyone else!”

Now here we have someone with an obvious opportunity. Wouldn’t you like for God to lay out such a clear plan for you; and to promise success in advance. That wasn’t good enough for Moses. He kept trying to convince God he didn’t have any of the necessary requirements for accomplishing this big job. Moses said “they won’t believe me. I don’t have anything to qualify me for doing something great.” God said, “What is that in your hand?” If you don’t remember, it was his shepherd’s staff, which turned out to be a pretty significant part of his leadership. He turned it into a snake, parted the Red Sea with it and did some other pretty cool stuff.

If you think you’re stuck, don’t have any unusual talents, don’t have the right degrees, and don’t have the credibility to have people take you seriously – let me ask you a question: “What do you have in your hand?” What natural talents do you have? What is it that you do with excellence? Do you make beautiful candles? Delicious bread? Encourage the elderly? Grow stunning flowers? Handle your children with grace? You get the idea – just look at what you have right in front of you.

With God’s help you may already have everything you need for greatness. Don’t balk when you hear your call!

Source: Crosswalk

The “Me Time” Myth

(by Amy Roberts)
Source: Crosswalk

I once heard a talk show host give a very compelling argument for why moms need time away. He said mothers give and give to the point of empty. They must refuel themselves so they can continue to give.

It sounded quite reasonable to me. Then why did my search for this hallowed “me time” always leave me feeling as though I needed more? While taking time for myself, I definitely felt refreshed, but the moment I got home and realized the sink was still full of dirty dishes and I would still have to give baths to all the children before the night would be over, I wanted to head right back out the door.

This left me feeling sorry for myself. Why couldn’t I have one night where I wouldn’t have to do the same things I do every night? Why couldn’t I come home to a spotless and trouble-free place where dishes were washed and children were in bed? Why did I have to go back to my duties so soon? To punish those who were making my life difficult, I would loudly sling dishes and be curt and hurried with everyone until I could get children into bed and escape to the sewing room or the computer for the remainder of the evening.

The next morning, feeling dissatisfied with the amount of me time from the evening prior, I would take my coffee, sit at the computer, and completely ignore my daily duties. I would get irritated with the children because their antics were cutting into my time. I was stressed and edgy and desperate for more. My children would call out for me and I would answer, “She’s not here right now.”

Then, I began staying up much too late in order to squeeze in more alone time. I dreaded going to bed because it meant waking up to children’s needs and a disaster of a house.

I became increasingly upset by my husband’s time off from work, along with the business lunches and the business trips. To compensate for the perceived unfairness of the situation, I chose to do nothing on weekends: no laundry, no dishes, no parenting. Soon, my weekends were spilling over both ends and into the weekdays. All of this only served to overwhelm me even more and feed into my desire to escape.

In a moment of clarity, as only the Lord can offer, I saw my behavior for what it truly was: selfishness. Along with this epiphany came the conviction to quit seeking Me Time.

Me Time is a myth. It is an unattainable, always interruptible, never satisfying piece of junk psychology. Me Time, by its very name, suggests that who we are during the daily grind is not who we truly are. It begs us to search for fulfillment outside of the titles of “wife” and “mother.” It accuses precious little ones and God-given spouses for suppressing us. It reduces motherhood to a disease in which little dirty faces and endless monotonous tasks slowly suck the life out of us. It says we can never be refreshed by spending time in the presence of those we care for day in and day out. It points out a perceived hole in our world that needs to be filled, a tank that must be refueled, a monster that will swallow us if we neglect to feed it Me Time.

The more we indulge the thought that we are somehow owed this time away, the more we will seek after it. The more we seek after it, the more every little opportunity afforded us to take a break will seemingly end too quickly. The everyday life of being a mother will become drudgery. We will dread every aspect of this role. We will snap at our children any time they try to draw us out of our precious time alone. Not getting this time will ruin our day, and if we do manage some time away, we will despise the re-entry.

However, with any lie, there is a certain amount of truth hidden within. There is an emptiness within us that needs to be filled, but only God can fill what you are aching for.

“The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.” Lamentations 3:24–25

Our time away should be spent seeking Him. Anything else we try to fill that emptiness with will fall miserably short. Likewise, the company we seek during our time away should be spent with people who are about the business of edifying and strengthening us in our role as wife and mother, not tearing at the very foundation of our home. We will never gain anything but resentment from the counsel of those who encourage us to seek self.

We must cease to see the role of wife and mother as a job we put aside at the end of the day. We must do our daily tasks cheerfully, as unto the Lord. We must learn to enjoy being home with our families. We must find contentment in serving others. We should spend more time drinking in the beauty of our children, searching their eyes, holding their hands, being Mom. When we do feel neglected or overworked, we must immediately seek the Lord to refresh us and keep us from sin.

There will be days when we are afforded opportunities to do things alone or with other women, but if we are content in our God-given role, we will no longer cling so tightly to these moments as the only way to save our sanity. Our need for Me Time will fade as we begin to see motherhood as a blessing not to be escaped, but embraced.

Dollar Menu Opportunities

(by Mary Beiver)
Source: Crosswalk

“What’s a dollar menu?” a friend’s son asked us years ago as we went through a drive through.

“It’s what we choose our dinner from,” I answered.

“My family doesn’t do discount stores,” a girl told a friend of mine this week “WE don’t shop in such stores, and I won’t go in.”

My children are well educated in dollar menus and discount stores.

Each day, we learn of other friends or family who have lost jobs. It’s harder to be the parent facing limited income and higher bills – and hungry kids who just outgrew their clothes.

We may not realize this is a blessing for our children. In my childhood, I lived in two worlds. The first had excess, privilege, and easy spending. In the second, I had a paper route at age ten, bought all my own clothes in middle school, and left home at 18. I was given the gift of living in vastly different circumstances. Each had its own challenges.

In this downturn, we can teach our children to be frugal, self reliant, compassionate, and careful with dwindling resources. Gardens may have more food than flowers this year. We learn to celebrate the dollar menu when we have the chance to enjoy it.

We teach our children by our example. They can learn lessons: don’t waste food, spend money you have, buy used and secondhand items, and live within your means. If we eat out less, we can eat in more. The more often we eat meals as a family, with our kids, the less likely they will succumb to temptation as adults. Our hard times now equip them for challenges tomorrow.

My husband and I have owned a small business the past 9 years. We’ve known disasters and blessings. God has been with us in all circumstances, most especially years ago when our home and business burned and we lost almost everything we owned.

Years after Almanzo and Laura Wilder lost their home in a fire, they had boxes for their table and chairs. When they started their apple orchard, they had to work 5 years to turn a profit and took countless odd jobs. Almanzo described their work:

“I think that one thing that has made my orchard a success is that I took individual care of each tree. What that particular tree needed it got. Wife and I were so well acquainted with the trees that if I wished to mention one to her, I would say "that tree with the large branch to the south," or "the tree that leans to the north," etc. The tree that leaned was gently taught to stand straight so that the sun would not burn the bark....The trees came into bearing at seven years old, and the apples were extra well colored and smooth skinned. I have had apple buyers and nursery men tell me that my orchard was the prettiest they ever saw, and my Ben Davis are different from any I have ever seen in being better colored and flavored and in the texture of the flesh.”

Twenty years after they bought Rocky Ridge Farm, the Wilders realized their dream of a self-sustaining farm with dairy, poultry, and fruit and a dream house. Decades later, during the Depression, Rose used her tough childhood knowledge of gardening and food preservation to feed her friends and neighbors.

The twentieth century was the Century of Stuff. We spent money we didn’t have to get Stuff. Then Stuff didn’t meet our needs, so we borrowed more to get new Stuff. Our friends and neighbors got better Stuff, so we ditched what we had to get more in debt for more Stuff. Our homes got too crowded because we had Stuff, so we needed to buy a bigger house, which needed to be filled with more Stuff. The Stuff turned into shackles.

Our world was built upon sand that has collapsed.

Our children can learn not to worship at the False Temple of Stuff. They can learn to distinguish a want from a need. They can honor and worship the one true God and his Son, our Savior. The less distracted we are by Stuff, the more we can see, hear, and experience God.

They will also learn creative problem solving. How do we fix the food chopper after it breaks instead of throwing it out to buy a new one? Can we used milk that’s started to sour for baking? How many meals can a single roast stretch to feed?

Blessings can come from great crises. This year, our kids helped earn the tuition for different classes they took. They learned new skills in the process and suddenly wanted to make the most of their opportunities.

We may face a lifetime of shifting circumstances. God can take all of them and make good things happen. Now’s our chance to show our kids how we can be richer with a simpler world. We have centuries of examples of American ingenuity and tough pioneers.

Less stuff and more God is a good thing. Our struggles now – and our responses to them – can give our children a legacy of character and skills which can impact the world in ways we can’t imagine.

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Don't Compare Your Life Away

(By Cliff Young)
Source: Crosswalk


I am a highly experienced comparative individual. I have the tendency to compare anything to everything, and with the advancement of technology, I have developed this “skill” and applied it to many areas of my life.

However, this ability is not something that is always favorable in the Lord’s eyes or positive for me as a person.

“Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive (1 Corinthians 10:23).

Comparison shopping is useful. Tracking and comparing your personal skills and abilities to the past in order to reach higher goals is worthy. However, comparing yourself to others or what others have in a material sense is neither beneficial nor constructive.

I don’t believe I am the only one who possesses this propensity to compare.

* We compare our lives to the lives of those who are also single (or married).
* We compare where we live to where our friends live.
* We compare what we drive to what the person beside us is driving.
* We compare what we wear to what celebrities wear.

We compare how much (or how little) money we have to how much others have.

Why do we (or at least I) do these things?

When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise (2 Corinthians 10:12).

Comparison living isn’t a new way of life. In fact, we can find examples all the way back to the beginning of time.

Adam and Eve compared what they had to what they could have by eating the forbidden fruit (Genesis 3:1-7).

A rich man asked Jesus how to receive eternal life and compared what he had, had to do and had to give up to be perfect and have treasure in heaven (Matthew 19:16-21).

The disciples compared themselves to each other when they asked Jesus, “Which of us is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?” (Matthew 18:1).

We almost innately compare ourselves to one another. We desire what we do not have (and lack appreciation for things we have been blessed with), we judge others for what they possess, and, as a result, we don’t seek to understand God’s specific will for our own lives.

Lack of Contentment

Brewing a lack of contentment is the strategy of every major marketing department. Their goal is to convince us what we currently have is no longer acceptable (or up to date), and what they are trying to sell us is what we need. With the amount of money the average American is in debt and the discontent we seem to have in relationships, in our jobs, and in life itself, they appear to be succeeding.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:12-13).

Paul shares from a jail cell that true contentment is not dependent upon what we have or don’t have; it comes from our relationship to Jesus. If we compare what we seem to be missing to others who seem to have what we want, we will never be content. As a result, we may never realize the plans the Lord has for us individually nor appreciate the blessings that we have been given thus far.

Judging Others

A consequence of consistently comparing ourselves to those around us is the unfounded judgment of others. We see a material possession, a physical ability or a relationship that we yearn for and we draw conclusions about the person and how they were able to acquire it. We question, “Why them and not me?” We ask, “What did they do to deserve it?” We wonder, “How can we have what they have?”

Earth has nothing I desire besides you (Psalm 73:25).

King David had everything in the world a person could desire; he had power, fame, homes (palaces), influence, relationships and money. Through it all, he discovered nothing on the earth was more important or more desirable than following God. David was a man after God’s own heart, and tells us to focus our thoughts upon matters of the Lord rather than on things of the earth.

If we live our life centered on God and our relationship with Him, we will not be as quick to compare ourselves to those around us and be less likely to judge others for what they have.

Seek to Understand

Being the first child born to Adam and Eve, Cain did not have anything to compare himself to. However, when his younger brother Abel was born, sibling rivalries were created.

(At harvest time) Cain brought to the Lord a gift of his farm produce, while Abel brought several choice lambs from the best of his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his offering, but he did not accept Cain and his offering. This made Cain very angry and dejected.

“Why are you so angry?” the Lord asked him. “Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you respond in the right way. But if you refuse to respond correctly, then watch out! Sin is waiting to attack and destroy you, and you must subdue it” (Genesis 4:4-7).

Was Abel favored over Cain? Why didn’t the Lord accept Cain’s offering? What right response was the Lord looking for?

It was by faith that Abel brought a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did. God accepted Abel’s offering to show that he was a righteous man (Hebrews 11:4).

Cain’s rejected offering was in response to his lack of faith and unrighteousness. God gave Cain an opportunity to remedy the situation; however, instead of listening to God and looking within his own heart to seek understanding of the situation, he took his anger out on his brother and killed Abel. Cain blamed Abel as the cause of the Lord’s displeasure, not himself.

God’s lesson to us is not about the material possessions we have or even in the material possessions we offer up to Him. He doesn’t care about the things of the earth or how we compare to one another. What God cares about is our own faithfulness and our own righteousness, irrespective of one another.

Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else (Galatians 6:4).

Our goal is to stay within the boundaries of God’s plan for us (2 Corinthians 10:13).

It is easy to look at someone else and want what they have, pass judgment, or blame them for our disappointment. However, God wants each of us to take responsibility for ourselves. He gives each of us the opportunity to respond in the right way. Let us not compare our lives to others, rather let us live it according to how God guides and directs each of us individually.

Paul gives us some final counsel:

Everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I may have Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9).

Why Will 2009 Be Any Different?

(by Kathleen Hardaway)
Source: Crosswalk

Have you made New Year’s resolutions in the past and they didn’t last? Are you looking for something that will work, something that will help you move forward with accomplishing your goals?

What changes would you like to see happen in this New Year? During the past presidential election the most popular word used among the candidates was CHANGE. People desire change in our country and also in their own personal lives. Ask anyone, “Is there something in your life that you would like to change?” Most will easily begin giving you a list of things they would like to see changed.

How about you? What changes would you like to see happen? Have you given up on certain areas in your life? I want to encourage you: DON’T GIVE UP!

Have you ever wondered why change is so hard? I have. I think about it a lot. Certainly there are countless reasons why so many people fail at bringing about change. We’re now seeing Oprah continue in her battle with keeping her weight off. She appears to still be looking for the answers in this area in her life.

There are countless books on weight loss, exercise, financial bondage, relationships, and reaching your dreams. These subjects seem to always find themselves on the best sellers’ list. We purchase these books because these things dramatically affect our lives.

I personally own books on all of these subjects and have found them helpful. But I have also found that all the knowledge in the world on a subject will not make you change. Why? Satan has one goal for your life:

"The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy…” (John 10:10).

Satan desires to destroy your life in any way that he can. And one of his biggest ways is to keep you discouraged. He would like for you to continue to believe thoughts like: “I will never change, I’ve always been this way, this is as good as it gets; I’ll always be single, there’s no hope for my marriage, my children.” On and on the lies flood your mind. Lies, all lies. Change these lies to “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Cling to this verse when the fiery darts come. Stand on the fact that change is possible.

Change happens every day, with singles who find their mates, with broken marriages, with messed up teens, adolescents, and even with seniors. I have a good friend whose parents were dramatically changed and found the Lord very late in life. Change is possible for everyone, at any time.

The key to change is to recognize when Satan begins to speak his lies to you. Do you ever hear yourself say, “I’m stuck. I’ve never be able to do this before; it’s just to hard”? Do you feel stuck, as if change will never happen? Maybe you’ve never been able to make this change before. Remember, it’s never too late. We know “with God all things are possible” (Mark 10:27). Making change can be hard, but not impossible. You must believe this.

Look back over the past year at the changes you made. What are some of the good things that happened in 2008? Thank God for all that He has blessed you with this past year. I had some disappointments, but I also had some unexpected blessings. How about you?

What will make 2009 any different? Write a plan for the year. If you don’t set a target, most likely you won’t hit one.

* Begin in prayer. Set aside time to seek the Lord about what He would have you do over the next year. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). Be sure and ask Him.
* Make a list of three short-term goals that you want to accomplish in the next three months.
* Make a list of three things you want to accomplish in the next six months.
* Write down your Dream Goal for 2009. (Write one Dream Goal and the plans for accomplishing it.)
* Put these lists on your refrigerator, on your bathroom mirror, and on the calendar you use. If you place these goals in all three places, they will be constant reminders of the goals you desire to reach this year.
* Start a support prayer group for the year. Meet at least once a month. Encourage one another and pray for each other.
* Select the person who will be your accountability partner through this year. Give them your list of goals. Weekly go over the goals and share your progress for your first your three-month goals, then your six-month list, and your Dream Goal.
* Celebrate each goal accomplished.
* Remember that each goal is important to God. It’s important to Him how we spend our time.

“Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:15-16).

When you sit down to watch TV, ask yourself, “Is this really the best use of my time?” Certainly there is a time to relax and possibly watch some television. But watch out, as it can be one of the biggest time wasters. Start being more conscious of how you’re spending your time.

My friend, may the Lord bless you mightily this next year. Remember, He rejoices as you’re walking in righteousness and as you’re accomplishing goals that impact His Kingdom.

“Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I d forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12-14).

Now For The Not-Yet

(by Rachel Starr Thompson)
Source: Boundless

I read a profound thing the other night — in a Charlie Brown cartoon, which is no surprise since I'm always reading profound things in the comics. Charlie Brown comes to Lucy's psychiatric booth to declare that he is depressed. Lucy takes him up on a hill, shows him the vast horizon, and begins to ply him with questions. Does he see all that room for living? Has he ever seen any other worlds? As far as he knows, are there any other worlds for him to live in?

Her final question: "You were born to live in this world ... right?" "Right," he answers — and Lucy hits him with the punch line. "WELL, LIVE IN IT THEN!"

Those are inspiring words. They really are. As a philosophical day-dreamer with a tendency to fatalistic attitudes, I relate very well to Charlie Brown. The idea that here I am, placed in this world for the express purpose of living in it, is almost revolutionary to me.

That is, it was almost revolutionary to me. Sometime in the last 10 years, during the gradual transition from childhood to adulthood, it started to sink in that God wants me to live. To live fully. To live well. And to live not only for a distant future in a heaven that is still far away — that is, the ultimate Not-Yet — but to live in the Now, to live on this earth in the best way I can, recognizing every day as a gift from God. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I wish that life should not be cheap, but sacred. I wish days to be as centuries, loaded and fragrant."

I am here, in the only world that has currently been given to me, and I'm doing my best to live in it. But it's not as easy as it sounds. The apostle Paul described life as a race, as a wrestling match, and also as a battle: He recognized that living, really living as God wants us to, is hard work. We fight sin within us, evil around us, and "spiritual wickedness in high places."

On top of all of that, we fight our own flesh. What do I mean by that? I mean that if we want to really live our days, loaded and fragrant, with purpose and holy joy, we need to fight our inborn laziness, our tendency to forget, our knack for centering on trivial, unsatisfying things, and our propensity to dig ruts and sit in them.

I teach writing, so my years are naturally divided into three distinct seasons: Fall Semester, Spring Semester, and Summer. The breaks in the year afford me a perfect time to reexamine my life. Every four months, I take a hard look at the paths I'm walking. I look especially hard at my habits, for they are the real direction of my life, no matter how many grand pronouncements I may make. Management consultant Peter F. Drucker says, "Long-term planning does not deal with future decisions, but with the future of present decisions." In other words, what am I doing now?

So. Here I am, at the brink of a new semester. It is time again to take stock of my life, to measure the worthiness of my goals, to see if I'm actually moving toward them, and to decide whether changes must be made. This every-four-month system is a good one, because it keeps my ruts from getting too deep before I see the need to leap out of them. In examining life, I want to measure the quality of the Now, but I also want to keep the Not-Yet firmly in mind. Am I living well today? And is the way I'm living actually going to lead to a good, God-honoring future — not just here, but in eternity?

First off, there's my spiritual life. When I examine this, I have to remember that spiritual life is neither really predictable nor actually controllable, because any real spiritual life is a relationship — and the other Half of the relationship rarely conforms to my small-minded expectations. That said, as the small half of this relationship, there are things I can do to keep it healthy.

Foremost among these is prayer. For many years I've had the nagging feeling that my prayer life was lacking. I prayed a lot, usually sporadically throughout the day, but I was always scattered and unfocused. I'd say "I'll pray for you," knowing that I'd probably forget to do so. Over this past summer, though, I made a change in my prayer life that has been revolutionary. I started scheduling prayer times. Short ones, just five, 10, or 15 minutes, five to seven times a day. I got the idea from a Boundless article, actually: Jim Tonkowich's "Hour by Hour: It's Always Time to Pray." I have already seen incredible fruit from this new habit in the Now, and I know it will bear more in the Not-Yet. This habit stays, and I'm making a renewed commitment to doing it diligently.

Mental life is another area to keep an eye on. Are you familiar with the verse that says, "Teach us to number our days"? I always figured it ended with something like this: "So that we may make a difference in this world." Actually, the whole verse says, "So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom" (Ps. 90:12). This is about spiritual life; it's also about our mental lives. I've realized that I need to attend to mine in a serious way.

I try to spend at least half an hour every morning reading my Bible with an open notebook and study references handy. I really want to tackle the meat of scripture, to wrestle with it, to ask questions and seek out answers, to learn how God sees the world and how I'm supposed to respond to that. I want to learn to think biblically. This isn't just for the Now — it's imperative for the Not-Yet. What I learn now, at this stage in my life where I'm able to invest time in study, forms my decision-making processes, my thought patterns, and my mental capabilities for the future.

You can see why this is hard work! Reexamining my life on a regular basis means that I refuse to allow my flesh the upper hand. I don't want to let attitudes, bad habits, or forgetfulness prevent me from really living. Of course, I mess up in all these areas just as fast as I articulate what I want in them. But that doesn't ultimately matter. As long as I get back up, I'll stay on the right paths.

Many other aspects of life bear examination. Work. Health. Recreation. Am I doing what God has called me to do? Am I doing it diligently, smartly, with joy? Are my current health habits going to help me in the Not-Yet, or are they more likely to land me with lifelong problems I don't want? Do I spend my recreation time actually re-creating — doing things that build me up — or am I frittering it away with activities I don't much care for? How about finances? Am I giving? Could I give more? Are my spending and savings in a healthy balance? Was all that Starbucks really necessary — a real blessing, or just a bad habit of letting money run out of my pocket every time I smell a latte?

Then there are relationships: the heart and blood of life. "Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not," instructs Proverbs 27:10. There's something tragic about a life lived in pursuit of personal growth, goals, and passions, while the people who make life worth living are overlooked. In every season, I want to love my family, my friends, and my God wholeheartedly.

Relationships matter for the Not-Yet, too. Not only does maintaining relationships now ensure that those people will still be there in the future, but it also changes me. Relationships shape us more than anything else. In the future, I want to be loving, loyal, diligent, and Christ-like toward others. That will never happen if I neglect the Now.

I wish life to be not cheap, but sacred. God has given us life: God wants us to live it. Christians do not need to live defeatist, fate-driven, circumstance-directed lives. We can make decisions and choices that will shape our lives for the glory of God.

I wish you the best as you reexamine the paths your feet are on. May they lead you through days that are fragrant, that are loaded, that present themselves to you each day as gifts from a glorious God.

Genious Blind Girl

Just see for yourself... one of God's masterpiece... and definitely one of His beloved daughters...

When Our Plans Aren't God's Plans

(by Cliff Young)

Do you ever look at your life and wonder how you got where you are? Do you ever compare your life to your friends’ or neighbors’ lives? Do you ever wonder if you’ll ever reach those goals that you set for yourself or realize the dreams that you have?

Me too.

I’m a planner by nature … and by habit … and by profession. I like to know where I am, where I’m going and what’s going to happen. You can call it being in control or you can call it being a control freak. I’m not one who rebels against changes, but they should all be within the boundaries of MY plan.

Do you know anyone like that? Are you like that? Fortunately for me (and those around me) I’m learning to not be “that” extreme anymore. I used to think that I could plan out my whole life and live it accordingly. Oftentimes, my plans unraveled and I would find myself wondering …

Why did my plans go wrong?
Did I make a wrong turn somewhere that led me down this road?
Are my dreams not going to be realized?
Why me?!
According to Proverbs 16:9 (often quoted by “non-planners”), “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

I not only “planned” my course in my heart, but also in my mind, body, spirit, on paper and on my calendar! By the time that I graduated from college, I had my whole life laid out before my eyes. One thing that I didn’t “plan” on being at this point in my schedule was SINGLE!

For many of us, our “plans” haven’t worked out exactly according to our calendars and PDAs. For many of us, it’s a constant adjustment to what we had “thought” or “planned.” For many of us, something happened that was totally out of our control.

So, how have you reacted?

Complain? Question? Curse?

Job didn’t “plan” on losing his family, his wealth, and his livelihood. He didn’t plan on being raided, having fireballs fall from the sky killing his livestock, having a tornado hit his family’s house killing his sons and daughters, and being inflicted with boils. He reacted to his situation as many of us probably would have (or do each day when the “unexpected” happens).

“I am disgusted with my life. Let me complain freely. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul” (Job 10:1).
“Why do you reject me, the work of your own hands, while sending joy and prosperity to the wicked? (Job 10:3).
“Cursed be the day of my birth, and cursed be the night when I was conceived” (Job 3:3).
Job’s wife, who was in the midst of the same suffering, said, “Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die” (Job 2:9).

If there was anyone who felt as if he had control over his plans and future, it would have been Job. Here was a man who, according to most standards, was a success. He had a large family, wealth beyond what any of us could imagine, and his health. Beyond that the Lord said, “He is the finest man in all the earth—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and will have nothing to do with evil” (Job 1:8). In other words, he “had it all.”

“But they do not know the Lord’s thoughts or understand his plan” (Micah 4:12).

At one time or another in everyone’s life, we all face disappointment and plans that don’t meet our expectations. If you ever think that you’re the only person on earth that has had their plans and dreams shattered, it only takes one episode of auditions from American Idol to confirm that “you are not alone.”

Emil Zatopek, Four-time Olympic gold medalist, may have prophesied about future American Idol contestants or many of us when he said:

“You can’t climb up to the second floor without a ladder. When you set your aim too high and don’t fulfill it, then your enthusiasm turns to bitterness.”

Lofty goals and aiming high isn’t wrong, in fact a lot of people probably don’t shoot high enough. The question, “How do you deal with disappointment and unfulfilled expectations?” arises when our standards aren’t met and the plans we make don’t work out.

I wonder …

How many of us have had our enthusiasm for something (or somebody) turn into resentment and bitterness?
How many of us still carry baggage from our childhood, from a former job, or from a past relationship?
How many of us are allowing disappointments from yesterday to impact our lives negatively today?
Outcome

Job wasn’t immune to speaking his peace. After many days of questions and complaints from Job, God answered him.

“Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Do you know how its dimensions were determined and who did the surveying? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? Who defined the boundaries of the sea as if burst from the womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and thick darkness? …” (Job 37-41).

Job replied to the Lord, “I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. You ask, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I. And I was talking about things I did not understand, things far too wonderful for me?” (Job 42:1-3).

Are you discouraged, discontent, bitter? The disgruntlement and baggage from expectations not met can take away from the joy and the future that the Lord has, wants, and “plans” for each one of us. That joy often comes in ways we could never imagine or envision for ourselves.

Could the elder Abraham and Sarah have planned on conceiving a baby in their later years? (Genesis 21)
Could the barren Hannah have planned on her womb being opened so she could conceive a baby? (1 Samuel 1)
Could the widowed and childless Ruth have planned on remarrying a wealthy landowner and bearing a son? (Ruth 4)
How?

Despite Job’s outbursts of frustration and exasperation, he never lost faith and he never denounced God.

“At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One” (Job 6:10).

Abraham, Hannah, and Ruth never lost their faith either. They continued to pray and rely upon the Lord during their grief.

“Then Abraham prayed to God …” (Genesis 20:17).
“….For I (Hannah) have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow” (1 Samuel 1:16).
(Boaz to Ruth) “May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully” (Ruth 2:12).
The interesting thing about Job’s case is that he never gets “answers” to his questions, but he does get a renewed vision of God, and died “an old man who had lived a long, good life” (Job 42:17).

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Many times you hear that passage quoted alone, but we really need to read on to receive the full instructions of that passage.

“’In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you,’ says the Lord” (Jeremiah 29:12-14).

The Lord does not hide from us in times of need. Oftentimes, we may be so wrapped up in ourselves and the situation that we don’t even see the Lord in the midst of it.

The next time you find yourself feeling alone or on a path that you didn’t plan on, seek the Lord, take refuge in Him, and spend time in prayer. Ask Him to help you conform your “plans” to His plans for your life.

Source: Crosswalk

Why Happiness Isn't a Feeling

(by J.P. Moreland)

Just after Jesus told his disciples who he was and what path lay before Him, He gave them — and us — the key to human prosperity.

If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for my sake shall find it. For what will a man be profited, if he gains the whole world, and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? (Matthew 16:24-26)

Christ invites us to follow Him, but warns that losing our lives is the first step. It's an invitation to happiness. But what exactly is happiness, and how do we obtain it?

According to ancient thought, happiness is a life well lived, a life that manifests wisdom, kindness and goodness. For the ancients, the happy life — the life we should dream about — is a life of virtue and character. Not only did Plato, Aristotle, the Church Fathers and medieval theologians embrace this definition, but Moses, Solomon and (most importantly) Jesus did, too. Sadly their understanding is widely displaced by the contemporary understanding of happiness defined as pleasure and satisfaction, a subjective emotional state associated with fleeting, egocentric feelings.

Consider the differences:

Contemporary Understanding
Happiness is:
1. Pleasure and satisfaction
2. An intense feeling
3. Dependent on external circumstances
4. Transitory and fleeting
5. Addictive and enslaving
6. Irrelevant to one's identity, doesn't color the rest of life and creates false/empty self
7. Achieved by self-absorbed narcissism; success produces a celebrity

Classical Understanding
Happiness is:
1. Virtue and character
2. A settled tone
3. Depends on internal state; springs from within
4. Fixed and stable
5. Empowering and liberating
6. Integrated with one's identity, colors rest of life and creates true/fulfilled self
7. Achieved by self-denying apprenticeship to Jesus; success produces a hero

How can we be certain Jesus is inviting us to a classical understanding of happiness in Matthew 16:24-26? He isn't talking about going to heaven rather than hell, nor is He telling his followers how to avoid premature death. Where Matthew writes, "what will a man be profited, if he gains the whole world, and forfeits his soul" (emphasis added), Luke clarifies Jesus' teaching by replacing "his soul" with the word "himself" (Luke 9:25). The issue is finding one's self vs. losing one's self. More specifically, to find one's self is to find out how life ought to look like and learn to live that way; it's to become like Jesus, with character that manifests the fruit of the Spirit and the radical nature of Kingdom living; it's to find out God's purposes for one's life and to fulfill those purposes in a Christ-honoring way.

Eternal life as defined in the New Testament isn't primarily about living forever, it's about having a new kind of life, a new quality of life so distinct that those without it can, in a real sense, be called dead. It's life lived the way we were made to function, a life of virtue, character and well being lived for the Lord Jesus.

We were meant to live dramatic lives of goodness, truth and beauty. We're called to be dramatic in the "little" details of our "ordinary" lives, for even little details and ordinary activities become big and extra-ordinary in the light of true happiness. Such a life makes the presence or absence of contemporary happiness simply beside the point and not worth worrying about.

Self-denial doesn't mean living without money, goods, recognition or any of the things that bring pleasure and satisfaction, but it implies that these things can't be your goal. Neither does self-denial require putting yourself down or disliking yourself. Jesus said, "Take up your cross." Taking up your cross means refusing to be your own central concern. It means living for God's Kingdom, finding your place in His unfolding plan and playing your role well. Taking up your cross means giving your life to others for Christ.

A Critical Choice

The classical and contemporary notions of happiness produce radically different kinds of people. It's here that the difference between the two shakes us to the core and demands we make a lifestyle choice. This choice is as important as any we will ever make.

If we aim our lives at pleasure and satisfaction (see row one), we'll spend all our time looking inside ourselves, constantly taking our happiness temperatures. Our activities and relationships will become means to our own feelings, ceasing to serve anything higher or other than ourselves. This sort of life leads to narcissism.

If, on the other hand, virtue and godly character are our goals, we will learn to see ourselves in light of a larger cause — the outworking of God's plan in history. We'll be preoccupied with finding our role in that cause and playing it well. We'll passionately see life's activities as occasions to draw near to God and become more like Him. We'll hunger to become people who make life better for those around us. Our long-term focus will be on giving ourselves to others for Christ.

It's critical that we understand the nature of Jesus' assertion that we only gain our lives when we lose them for His sake. Jesus isn't commanding us to do anything. He's simply describing reality. He's accurately characterizing the way we're made, telling us how we prosper (or perish) as image-bearers of God. His assertion is like saying "If you want to be fit, you've got to exercise." This isn't a recommendation; exercise isn't one among many ways to get in shape. This is an accurate description of fitness. Being rooted in reality, it describes the path you have to take if you want to be fit.

If you want to be a fit person, exercise isn't optional; if you want to be a happy person, denying yourself for Christ isn't optional. And this isn't true simply for believers. It's true for all of us, whether we believe it or not. As secular scholar John Gardner acknowledged, "Existence is a strange bargain. Life owes us little; we owe it everything. The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose."1 If you want to flourish as a friend, you need to concentrate on others. You'll be lonely if you spend all your time trying to convince people that you're really cool, worthy of their focused attention. Similarly, if you want to flourish as a person, you must deny yourself for Christ's sake. Only by taking this path — only by rejecting the contemporary notion of happiness — will you find true happiness.

No Offense

(by Suzanne Hadley)

"No offense, but ..."

Nothing puts me on edge like those three words. What follows is never pleasant.

No offense, but you have a lot of zits. [Read: Someone should tell you your face is hard to look at.]

No offense, but your name is kind of old-fashioned. [Read: I think your name is dumb.]

No offense, but you just don't have the experience for the role. [Read: You are a talentless wannabe who could never compete with the likes of me.]

What someone means when they say "no offense," is that they are about to offend you ... badly. The thing is, offense rarely presents itself in such an overt way.

Many times it's a statement that hits us wrong or an action we find inconsiderate. It's a presumption someone makes or an assumption we make or an assumption we make about a presumption someone else makes.

Basically, it's pretty easy to get offended.

I've seen this concept at work in my own life. Several years ago I had a blowout with a friend. We were working on a project together and had a major disagreement about how to proceed. He assumed I didn't trust him; I assumed he didn't care about my feelings. We both took offense.

Two months later we sat at a restaurant booth, working out the final threads of that conflict. That experience had a happy ending, because we were able to discover what went wrong before our relationship disintegrated. We recognized that neither one of us had intended to offend. It had just happened.

Insult Me, Please

We live in a world where people seem to want to be offended.

Last week I accidentally pulled out in front of someone in a parking lot. Even though we were both driving slowly and there was little chance of an accident, he shook his fist at me and yelled something I couldn't hear but assumed was not complimentary. He was offended.

When you think about it, the root of offense is pride. Someone does something that seems disrespectful or degrading, and my "I deserve better" alarm goes off. If my expectation is that people are out to wrong me, I will read every action or word as a potential insult.

I know people like this. I've been like this.

The thing is, I am not supposed to be offended for myself. Jesus said, "Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" (Luke 6:28). As a Christ-follower, I am not to be overly concerned about my rights or the way I'm being treated.

The principles of God's kingdom promote a different way. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says love "is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." Love is not easily offended, nor does it give offense. In fact, these things stand in the way of love — the trademark of the Christian life (1 Peter 4:8).

Proverbs says this very thing: "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends" (17:9).

A Time for Offense

While offending one another can be counterproductive, sometimes we need to be offended.

Consider the story of Jesus and the Pharisees in Matthew 15. After Jesus calls the Pharisees hypocrites for finding ways around the law, Jesus' disciples come to Him and say: "Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?"

I imagine their eyes were wide as they essentially said, "Um, Jesus. You just ticked off some of the most important guys in Jerusalem. Are you sure you wanted to do that?"

Jesus' response is interesting. He says: "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots." (v. 14)

Christ wasn't concerned about offending people for the right reasons. He understood that the Pharisees were offended because what He told them was the truth. Their pride had been hurt, but their reaction was evidence of their hardheartedness.

The Bible tells us that believers are an offensive odor to those who do not know God (2 Cor. 2:15-16). If you've spent much time talking to non-believers, they will most certainly express the ways Christians offend them. But if you listen closely, the thing that may actually be offending them is the Gospel. Nothing hurts man's pride like the need for a Savior. According to Paul, the cross itself is an offense (Gal. 5:11).

The Locked City

So what's the big deal about offending someone? If Jesus did it, shouldn't we? Offending others by speaking the truth of the Gospel is one thing. You might even say it's part of the job description of a believer. Offending others for your own satisfaction, however, is not.

When you offend someone, it impedes your impact in that person's life. Proverbs 18:19 says, "An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel."

Several years ago I found out that Ty (not his real name, of course), someone who attended my Sunday school class and whom I considered to be a friend, had said something negative about me to someone else. Since I received the information in a gossipy way, I didn't confront him about it.

But during the next year the offense smoldered like embers under a pile of hay. It affected how I viewed Ty's leadership. My bitterness grew to the point where I even avoided eye contact with him.

Everything came to a head the Sunday I heard my pastor preach on Matthew 18. "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over" (v. 15) Before I could chicken out, I picked up my phone and dialed Ty's number.

He was happy to meet with me and when I explained how he had offended me, he was ready and eager to apologize. "I thought maybe something was wrong," he said, "but I didn't know what it was."

It turned out the wound that had plagued me for more than a year — the thing that had caused me to resent this guy's leadership — was an offhanded statement he had made that he didn't even believe anymore. I learned my lesson. My cooperation with a fellow Christian had been hindered by my unwillingness to deal with an offense.

Ty is a good example of how a believer should react when he has offended someone. He listened to me. Without getting defensive or making excuses, he apologized for the way he had hurt me. I had become that fortified city, but his gentle response unlocked the doors.

I think of that experience often as one of the most impacting of my spiritual journey. For the most part, I try to apply grace to situations where I feel attacked or insulted. Proverbs 19:11 says, "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Choosing not to get offended is glorious. Really? I mean, it seems like a nice thing to do, but glorious?

I think the glory is found in the fact that this action reflects God's grace. I was born offending God and will continue to do so until I die. And yet, because of Christ, God chooses to overlook the offense. And this is to His glory.

David implored: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24).

That's my prayer, too. And as I recognize His abundant grace toward me in my imperfection, I will be more apt to overlook the offenses of others.

No offense, but I think you should do the same.

A Life of Simplicity

(by Nanmarie Woodford)

After searching through job banks in Washington D.C., I began working at a lobbying office full of political analysts and think-tank gurus. I plunged into my career life with zeal.

The commute and the hours were long and it didn’t pay enough, but I thrived on the excitement of politics. I was also beginning to date someone seriously. Between my new job and this new relationship, I definitely had my hands full.

Soon, I was getting less sleep and had no time for lunch or exercise. I lacked energy, but sustained myself at work with lots of coffee.

I thought of moving downtown to free up time, but that would eliminate involvement at my church or with my family, both located nearly 30 miles outside the city. My life was becoming my job, and I didn’t know how to find a balance.

Anxiety from work was building, keeping me up at night and adding to my emotional exhaustion. Yet I just couldn’t see what to change or let go.

One sleepless night, I wept silently. Not understanding myself or why I was crying, I prayed to God for guidance and to show me how to live.

From that prayer ensued a year’s journey into the desert: Arizona.

My boss wanted to start a non-profit organization in Arizona and needed help. One morning, as the sun poured through my window, I prayed to God to tell me if moving to Arizona was the right decision. I only heard what had echoed in my mind for some time: I’ve called you to a life of simplicity.

With conflicting emotions, I took the opportunity and moved to the desert. At first, I doubted God’s ways. Not until three months later did it dawn on me that this move wasn’t about my career, but about God answering my prayer to show me how to live.

It was strange living and working alone in a new town with a five-minute commute when I was used to an hour. I could eat lunch at home. I had time to exercise. And I was now dating long distance. Suddenly, things weren’t so busy anymore, and God and I had ample time to talk.

He showed me that how I was living would lead to more stress, anxiety and busy-ness. To teach me how to live a more simple life, He didn’t stop with just rearranging my exterior life. He was also about to re-design my interior life.

Trust God with the future. This job hadn’t shaped up the way I thought it would. I feared I might be wasting my time and even worse, missing rewarding opportunities back home. I was trying so hard to plan today for what might lay ahead in the future. But the truth was, only God knew. God lives outside of time, knowing past, present, and future. Furthermore, Jeremiah 29:11 says He has plans to prosper me, to give me hope and a future. So I gave Him permission to have His way with my career even though I didn’t see His reasons.

Live from day to day. Not having the burden of planning my future freed up a lot of thought time. I could concentrate on God’s desires for the present moment. God says that each day has enough trouble of its own anyway (Matthew 6:34). Instead of praying about future events, I pondered the meaning of the Lord’s prayer to “Give me this day my daily bread.”

Do not worry about tomorrow. God didn’t want me worrying about the future of my long-distance relationship either. Matthew 6:34 also says, Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Worrying is a distraction. Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life (Matthew 6:27)?

Be consumed with God. Instead of planning and worrying, I now had time to daydream about God—to let Him and His ways consume my thought-life. He said, “Fall into me. Let me hold you. Let me and my beauty and my greatness take you away from the worries of the day.” When I am consumed with God, I do not miss His guiding words.

Sell all you have. Jesus told the rich man who wanted to follow him that he must sell everything he had. But when the rich man heard this, he became very sad because he was a man of great wealth (Luke 18:23). His wealth held him back from becoming a true disciple. Dreams close to my heart--a fulfilling job or getting married--were like possessions keeping me from following God. These “possessions” would only complicate my life. I gave them to God, and I determined to seek first His kingdom (Matthew 6:33).

God had to send me to the desert to teach me how to live. Now I am back in the city I love, but I am freer - carrying fewer burdens - in short, living simpler, and living for God!

Source: christian women today

Courage to Feel

(by Barb Erochina)

Recently I watched a friend go through three weeks of migraines, numerous doctor’s visits and a CT scan. Her final diagnosis was stress-induced acute migraines. She had been experiencing major life changes and instead of working through the fear and anxiety that she felt, she repressed her feelings and tried to ignore them. Though for many people migraines are due to other factors, hers were undeniably caused by neglected worries. Her body reacted to the stress and her wellbeing decreased dramatically.

Medical research has long proven that our emotional state has a great impact on our physical body. Stress or repressed emotions are common causes of headaches, ulcers and back and neck problems. Many people who suffer from these do so because they refuse to deal with their feelings. In these cases, feelings have become a greater source of discomfort than health problems. Why would so many of us rather get physically sick than face our emotions head on?

A cultural misconception
Emotions are not held in high esteem in today’s culture. To get called “emotional” is never a compliment. Only a minimal level of feelings is considered appropriate in most situations and often these standards are unrealistic and repressive. Consider how often we are told that men should not cry, even though this is simply not true.

Even children are brought up with an understanding that emotions are useless. The saying “There is no use of crying over spilled milk” is a common colloquialism but ingrains the attitude that an emotional response to a negative occurrence is somehow inappropriate.

In contrast, self-control is held highly as a societal value. We’re taught that to allow oneself to feel something means being controlled by the emotion resulting in a loss of self-control. However, the opposite is true. Avoiding feelings sets us on a rat race where we become driven and controlled by the process of trying to avoid those same feelings. It takes courage to allow ourselves to feel.

Ignoring our emotions can leave us numb and unable to feel anything. Too often, we treat our emotional health as if it is a series of controls on a CD player. There is an assumption that we can control any one emotion separately from the rest in the same way that we can individually alter the bass or treble on our stereos. However, our emotional core functions more as an overall volume control. Reigning in any one emotion means the limiting of all of our emotions. Over time, denying any one emotion such as anger or sadness can reduce our ability to experience every other emotion including as joy and contentment.

Reasons to feel
We must stop being afraid of our feelings, and instead learn to use them for all of their benefits.

Feelings live where dreams are born and it is these dreams that fuel passion. When we work up the courage to face our feelings, including those of fear or sadness, dreams can emerge that will actually help us work through the feelings and get past them.

Our feelings act as a thermometer to judge whether the environment we are in is healthy for us. Knowing what we’re feeling allows for good self-care. If we are in a situation that is nerve-wrecking but we do not want to face that it makes us anxious, it is likely that the tension will only escalate. However, if we can accept that the situation makes us uncomfortable, we are then free to see how it can be altered or what questions must be resolved in order for the anxiety to diminish.

Feelings can serve as a great resource of guidance. They allow for self- awareness that speaks to us of long forgotten desires, dreams and ambitions. Change is a common trigger that causes people to run from feeling their emotions, especially during times of big decisions, life transitions or tragedy. Because these times are filled with uncertainty, it is good to be aware of how we are feeling about the circumstances set before us. The process of working through your emotions taps into the part of you that seeks and knows truth.

Feelings can grow our sense of self- worth. When we take the time to deal with our feelings, we are being intentional in saying “I matter!”

Once we can understand all the ways in which our feelings are good and purposeful, we can begin to stop being afraid of them. We have feelings because we were created with them. Our emotional makeup reflects God’s nature.

God created us to be holistic human beings, not one-dimensional robots who go about accomplishing one task or another. Our satisfaction and well-being are affected immensely by our emotional well-being because the emotional part of us rests at the core of how we are wired. It determines how we respond to others, as well as to the situations we find ourselves in.

We can see our emotional core reflected in God himself when we look at Christ. Jesus was both fully God and fully human. This means he was perfect but was also not afraid to feel. He wept for Jerusalem and Lazarus, angered at the disrespectful treatment of God’s temple and was overjoyed at the sight of children desiring to play with him.

God gave us our emotions, and therefore accepts us with them. He desires us to come to Him just as we are, without putting up any sort of well-composed front. God is the only one who accepts us truly as we are, without requiring anything else of us than just to be in relationship with him.

It is here that Jesus’ death was a necessary sacrifice on God’s behalf. We as broken and sinful human beings cannot be reconciled to God unless the sin that separates from Him is moved out of the way. Jesus, God’s son, both lived and sacrificed his perfect life on our behalf to take away our sin. All that is left up to us is to acknowledge that it is Christ’s gift that allows us to come to God, and to ask God to take the lead in our lives.

Source: christian women today

Waiting on the Promises of God

(by James MacDonald)

For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.
2 Corinthians 1: 20

By nature, God is a promiser. He's made a ton of them to His children. A promise is the assurance that God gives to His people so they can walk by faith while they wait for Him to work.

You don't realize how much you need God's promises until your smooth and easy life suddenly turns sideways. This is the time to dig into God's Word and get something to wrap your faith around.

Now the Christian life would be easy if the space in time is small between when you claim God's promises and when you receive what He promised. Read it one day and get it the next. Wow - wouldn't that be great!?

But life's not like that.

The hard part is in the waiting between the promise and the answer; and even harder, when the waiting comes with uncertainties.

Where's this going? Where am I going to end up? What's my future look like?

The reality is, we just don't know and it's this not-knowing that crushes us. We doubt because we don't know. We worry and despair because we don't know. We falter and sometimes fail - all because we don't know. If only we knew how this trial was going to play out, we would be OK. But we don't.

I can take a bad day. I can take a bad month. I can even take a bad year or bad decade, if I have to, as long as I know how it will end up. For some of you it's a health crisis. For another, it's a question about your marriage or an uncertainty with a child. For someone else, it's a restlessness in your soul. We all have areas of uncertainty where we need to hold on to what God has said. His promises are what we cling to while we wait for Him to work. Our faith is in God. He knows what He has promised, He can't lie, and He can't forget. He will deliver on time, all the time. Who else can make promises like that?

Now I wish I could tell you that it always figures out perfectly in our lifetimes, but I would be lying to you. You cannot make sense of the promises of God with this life only. You must factor the reality of eternity into the equation. Eternity brings it all together. The promises of eternal life and the assurance of hope in heaven are what make God's promises exceedingly great and precious.

God, forgive us for thinking that everything must make sense today in the economy of our human satisfaction. Give us faith to believe that we're here for a purpose that is greater than ourselves, greater than our personal enjoyment, even greater than our participation in building Your kingdom. Our lives are about a legacy-Your glory. Amen.

* Name a promise that God has made to You in His Word that You need to remember today.
* What promise do you cling to that will only make sense in eternity?

Why Waiting is Really Trusting

(by Daniel Darling)

Nobody hates waiting more than I do. At Wal-mart, I use the self-checkout, because there is usually no line. Unless, of course, I commit the unpardonable crime of putting the bread on the wrong plastic bag and the machine begins yelling at me. Then, of course, I have to wait for the human to come over and fix the machine.

At the post office, I hate waiting an hour to mail a package. So I usually use the automated box that allows me to send anything slightly smaller than an elephant.

I especially don’t like sitting in traffic in the Chicago suburbs, where I believe they widen the roads once every 76 years. So I have a better chance of seeing Haley’s Comet than getting into the turn lane on my local highways. Nice.

So you can understand that I have an especially tough time waiting on God. He just doesn’t seem to fit His plans into my rushed, hurried, panicked world. And in reading the Scriptures, I’ve learned that He hasn’t changed.

In fact, almost all of the great men in the Bible had to wait. Some agonizingly long. Let’s look at three examples.

Your Prince is Ready

Though Moses grew up in the house of Pharoah and was groomed to be the next in line for the throne, I believe he saw all of this as God raising him up to deliver his people, Israel. His mother probably had something to do with that.

As the years passed and Moses looked from the window of his stately palace and saw the oppression of his brethren, he grew more and more impatient. Finally, he acted on impulse and killed an Egyptian taskmaster.

So that meant 40 years in the wilderness. Here God’s people were suffering and their future deliverer is leading sheep in the backside of the desert. Yet God wasn’t delaying. He wasn’t stalling. He wasn’t anxious.

Finally, when Moses was broken and humble enough to be used as an instrument by God, God sent the 80-year old prince-turned-shepherd back to Egypt.

But do you see what his happening? The headlines wouldn’t read, “Prince leads coup. Prince leads revolt. Prince overtakes Pharaoh.” No, I wouldn’t be about Moses anymore. It would be about God. How about, “God Miraculously Delivers His People.”?

Dreams of Greatness

As a young man, God spoke to Joseph through dreams. In these dreams, Joseph was leading and his brothers and even world leaders were bowing at his feet. Kind of heady stuff for a teenager, don’t you think? And it didn’t play too well with his brothers.

But Joseph knew God was calling him to a special place. A place of impact and leadership and power.

So that’s why Joseph was probably stunned and shocked when he found himself in the bottom of a pit, praying his brothers wouldn’t kill him. Or when he found himself sold into a strange country, Egypt. Or when he was thrust into prison on rape charges.

Didn’t seem like those dreams were panning out too well, did it? Didn’t seem like God was working out His plan?

Oh, but God was working out his plan. And Joseph, while he didn’t know a lot, He knew He could trust God.

Running for King

Okay, so this prophet comes to his house, dumps some oil on his head, and then whispers in his ear, “Oh by the way, you’re going to be Israel’s next king.” But then it was back to the shepherd’s fields, back to being the forgotten son and brother, back to obscurity.

David was anointed king as a teenager, but he waited 14 long years to assume the throne. And those 14 years were hard years. He was Israel’s next king, but there was his madman, Saul, who was determined to see David dead and buried.

If you read the psalms you can experience David’s angst. He scratched his head in wonder, “Why is God allowing Saul to do this?” “Why doesn’t God just move Saul out of the way?”

But again, like Moses, like Joseph, David had to learn to trust God. And waiting, is trusting. David had to be broken, humble, and read to lead God’s people.

Do you see a pattern developing here? God often gives his people a dream, a desire, a calling and then puts them through a period of waiting.

It is in this waiting where your real courage and character are forged. It is in this period of uncertainty that you’re life takes on a whole new dimension. You learn how to trust God. You learn to lean on God. You learn what’s important and what’s not important.

So if you’re like me and you really hate to wait, know that waiting is trusting.

Waiting for Patience

(by Betsy St. Amant)

Patience. It’s a tough word to swallow. Christians everywhere jokingly warn each other, “Don’t pray for patience! You’ll get it!” And we’ve all heard the joke,” I prayed for patience but I’m just not getting it fast enough!”

Funny or not, it’s true that we are all impatient by nature. I'm learning this more and more as I delve further into my writing career. An author’s world is seemingly controlled by that single little word "wait". We write and wait. Submit and wait. Receive word and wait. Resubmit and wait. We wait for edits, cover art, ISBN numbers, first releases, etc. It’s a process that just takes time, and though it is by far worth every moment spent; sometimes having patience is just plain hard.

It’s been said that we live in a microwave generation. In this day and age, we obtain things now faster than ever before, and yet it’s still not good enough, not fast enough for our speedy preferences. Nuked popcorn still takes too long to pop. Full dinners in a skillet take too long to heat. Our fast food bags don’t pop out the drive-through window quickly enough for our taste. We get married and expect to have the same things our parents have after twenty-five years of marriage! A new car, a nice house, extra spending money. These things all take time to acquire, yet our hurried, frantic minds can’t grasp the concept. We don’t want to be patient. We want things now.

I’d like to think that I'm a decently patient person. I get anxious about things, of course, but overall, I understand that "good things come to those who wait" and that usually, the end result is well worth the time spent. Yet knowing this and applying it to my life and career sometimes takes on a different perspective!

Why is patience so hard for us? Why do we want what we want, right when we want it? Why can’t we be content to sit back and trust the Lord’s timing over our own anxiety and urgency?

I believe it all goes back to control. Having patience means surrendering control of our lives to Jesus, the ultimate Timekeeper. It means saying “I’ll wait for You, Lord, because I trust You.” And that’s hard to do. It’s difficult not knowing what will happen. We live in a world that operates by plans, lists, details, and organization. How can we plan or make a list or organize if we don’t know what’s coming? If we don’t know what to expect?

It’s simple: we can’t. That’s where trust comes in. And you can’t have trust without first surrendering control.

Your palms might be growing sweaty right at the mere thought. Let go? Let Jesus truly take full control of my life? But what if His plans don’t match up with mine? What if He doesn’t want the same things for me that I’ve desired my entire life? How can I trust that? How can I know He won’t lead me astray?

Good questions. And I realized something recently while thinking about this dreaded little word "wait". A vivid image popped into my mind that I’d like to share with you.

Have you ever been blindfolded? I played games like this at youth camp. Silly exercises on the surface, but deep down, they taught us as teenagers how to build trust and become better teammates. Our group leader would tie a thick bandanna around my eyes and I would be guided by an un-blindfolded partner through an obstacle course. The entire point was to learn to trust my teammate's voice and instructions. If he said "go right", I moved to the right. If he said “step up”, I’d step up and over the object in front of me. I’d take baby steps or giant steps according to his commands. I’d back up, scoot over, crawl, etc. I did whatever it took to get through the obstacle without seeing. I literally had to blindly trust my partner, who saw the whole picture.

It's a lot like that in our spiritual lives. We, as Christians, are blindfolded. We can't see the entire picture. Our view is limited, and we're stumbling around, confused as to which direction we should go. And unfortunately, more often than not, we tend to ignore the voice of our Lord instructing us to safety. To success. To fulfillment.

How will we ever know where to go, or worse yet, where not to go, if we don't listen to Him? We'll never cross the finish line by stubbornly insisting we can manage on our own. God sees the entire path before us. He knows what's coming, what has been, what is, and still has a plan for each one of us. As Christians, we have to trust that. Whether that means waiting, walking, crawling, taking baby steps, running, etc.

Are you listening to the voice of our Savior today? I am. I'm going to keep waiting and keep trusting. And when I hear that still small voice instructing me to walk, I'll do so boldly and with confidence that I am on the right path.

It will be worth the wait.