Double Standard = Insecurity

Yesterday because of a conversation among my friends, I realized that I have a problem... which is a relieve because I've been feeling uneasy and have unspeakable questions on my mind about certain things in my life. Now since I have known the root of my problem, I can start to put His Words to me into action...

Yap, He has already given me the solution before I knew what exactly my problem is... You're so amazing God... Thank You...

The root of my problem is because I have my own standard about how things should be like in my life. There are few areas where I still hold on to my own standard and when my current condition doesn't reflect that standard (I don't achieve what I thought I should have achieved by now or I don't be in a position where I thought I should have been by now), I get confused, insecure, and begin questioning myself and God.

It's true what has been said in Isaiah 55:8, "'For My thoughts [are] not your thoughts, Nor [are] your ways My ways,' says the LORD".

It's undeniable fact that each of us have our own standards about the best timing, the best achievement, the best job, the best income or salary rate, etc... Although what we have is probably a good life standard (at least according to our point of view), but still... often it doesn't in line with His standard. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, no matter how big our hope (and how often we pray) to achieve something that goes with our standard, it just can't happen in the present time...

And the questions begin to rambling around in our heads...
"Am I too late to do this thing? Why didn't I do this earlier?"
"Have I been so stupid before? Maybe it wouldn't have to be this way if I tried harder..."
"Have I made a mistake and careless with my previous decisions that brought me to this position right now?"
"Did I lack of motivations? I thought I should be better than my dad, but look at me now... I even couldn't make him proud of me..."

Maybe you also have similar or other questions...
Well, I think the main problem is that we don't get what we want/wish, based on our standard...

We might be forget that our life is a life we live in Him... It means, if we grow in His truth and grow to become closer in our relationship with Him, naturally, His thoughts will be our thoughts, and we will be able to easily surrender our thoughts/will/hope that isn't come from Him. This is possible because we are created according to His image.

So, the only one standard we must hold on to is His standard...
If we keep our eyes on Him and keep growing in His love and His truth, then, no matter what mistakes we have done in our past, He will lead us in His way to fulfill our destiny according to His plan. This is very possible since He is the Only Mighty God who always in control...

So there's no reason for us to be despair and stuck in our place right now with a painful headache because we think we are the one who have to fix and keep up with everything. In fact, we just need to do the first thing first, and the rest will follow... =)

Watch Your Self Talk and Apply Gratitude

Our self talk often goes undetected. Words we tell to ourselves like:

- I can't beat his/her skill
- I am a miserable man/woman, and always be like that
- I hate her/him for hurting me, no, I can't forgive her/him
- I'm a shy person, and I'm gonna stay this way
- she/he is so annoying, why can't she/he listen to me and do what I suggest?
- This trouble is too big, I can't handle this, whatever!
- etc

Our self talk could be about ourselves, our husband/wife, our friend, other people, or about condition/situation. It could be a condemnation, assumption, thoughts, or things we say to control our actions and reactions. And like any other talk, it could be positive or negative. But the most important thing that we should ask ourselves whenever we realize that we have our self talk is, whether it is in line with God's truth or not.

I has just realized that I have many wrong self talks, assumptions, jealousy, self-pity, and ignorance... If I didn't examine my self talk, they would go unnoticed for sure... and I would lose my chance to check myself and to fix my mindset.

Yesterday I read someone's writing, he shared about what he was doing to examine his self talk. He brought a little notepad and a pen, and he wrote every self talk that went on his mind about everything. How he was surprised to found that he had bad thoughts about his marriage, his wife, his job, and everything else... those little thoughts could sum up and become bigger and bigger, and at the end it has the potential to break or corrupt his own life...

We have to master our mind and submit it to God. Beside apply His words of truth into our mind, we have to make sure that we have a gratitude mindset.

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18

Paul is not telling you to be thankful for all the bad things that happen in your life, but rather we are to be thankful in our circumstances. There is a major difference between being thankful for every situation in life and being thankful in those situations. He challenges us to find reasons to be thankful even in the worst of struggles. Your circumstances might not change, but your attitude toward them can change, and that will make all the difference

We can simply focusing on the many things in our life for which we can be thankful. And making notes of them might help a lot... since we tend to forget the simple things...

You know, there are times when I ask, "What Your will for me God? Please lead me and show me Your will in my life..." I usually ask that question on specific things, but after I read that verse, apparently He had answered the basic of my question... His will for me is to have a gratitude life...

a Second Chance

Special Mention
(Source: Kerygma Mailing List)

“But go, tell His disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see Him, just as He told you.’” – Mark 16:7

Peter is one of my favorite Apostles. He loves Jesus yet he has done a lot of things that, if he had done them to another person, would have ended their relationship immediately. Peter was a person who was fiercely devoted to Christ that he was willing to do everything for Him. (He even cut off another person’s ear when Jesus was about to be arrested at Gethsemane.) He also said things that he wasn’t sure he could fulfill. (He said he would never deny Jesus but then renounced Him not once but three times a few hours later.)

Still, Jesus loved him and forgave him enough for the angel to tell the women at the tomb to inform Peter specifically that He is risen from the dead. How’s that for second chances?

I like Peter a lot because he reminds me of myself — willing to follow Christ, yet falling into things that I know are bad and that hurt Him. Yet even so, Jesus still forgives me and assures me that He loves me even if I do not deserve it at all. (*by Tina Matanguihan)

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I got the above email this morning. And the bold sentence has poked me, it made me realize that I still have a scar in my heart that was caused by a person who said things that he wasn't sure he could fulfill (and at the end it has been proved that he couldn't fulfill the things he had said at the beginning).

But the fact is, I'm just the same with the person who has wounded me, I do need a second chance too... and I have received it from Him... Why wouldn't I also give a second chance to this person?

I wanna be like You, Father... please help me...