(by Marshall Allen)
Source: Boundless
My first job after graduating from college was at a retail store that sold mountaineering gear. But I didn’t do anything cool, like play on the climbing wall or rap with customers about high-tech backpacks. I was “inventory boy,” stuck in the basement, unloading trucks and stocking shelves. My nine months on the job felt like nine years. Hour after hour, I price-tagged fleece and sorted water bottles, all the while feeling my passion for life sucked from my soul.
I’m guessing we’ve all had jobs that didn’t fit our skills and interests. Many of us have spent hours wondering what we should be doing vocationally to pay the bills and find fulfillment. It’s almost as if asking, “What should I do with my life?” is a rite of passage to growing up.
By the grace of God I stumbled into a career in journalism. But that was after spending five years in ministry, including three years in Africa. I loved full-time ministry and God used it to dramatically shape my faith and thinking. But it wasn’t until I was 29 and became a journalist that I felt my vocation ideally suited my interests, personality and skills. I’m fortunate to have found what I believe is my long-term career, but I also know many others who have had a much more frustrating search. Fortunately, resources are available to help.
Authors Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton wrote Now, Discover Your Strengths to help people understand themselves, so they can achieve personal and professional success. Buckingham, senior vice president of The Gallup Organization, and Clifton, a prominent psychologist, want people to be aware of their natural talents so they can turn them into strengths that can be utilized in everyday life. They believe that when we utilize our talents we’ll achieve the highest levels of excellence and achievement, while experiencing the most satisfaction. It’s like finding a way to do the things you love, the things that come naturally.
Many of us try bettering ourselves by identifying our weaknesses and then working to correct them. But Buckingham and Clifton take a different approach. They believe it’s a waste of time for people to try and fix their weaknesses. That would be like me spending years to become a master of retail inventory when I’m a people-person who’s lousy at working alone. Buckingham and Clifton say we should only give as much attention to our weaknesses as is necessary to prevent them from undermining our strengths.
To help readers pinpoint their strengths they offer an online survey at www.strengthsfinder.com. (One code for accessing the test is included in each book.) They define “talent” as “any recurring pattern of thought, feeling or behavior that can be productively applied.” For instance, if a person is inquisitive, charming or competitive, she can apply these talents productively. The Strengths-Finder survey helps people find their talents —the areas where they have the greatest potential for a “strength,” defined as “consistent near perfect performance in any activity.”
I didn’t have high hopes for the Strengths-Finder survey because personality tests usually disappoint me. It seems like they just rehash self-reported information. Before I took the test, I skimmed the 34 Signature Themes – they could also be called talents – identified by Buckingham and Clifton. I anticipated that Belief would be one of my primary Signature Themes, because it describes a person who has enduring core values like ethics, faith and family. I also assumed, given my love of writing and storytelling, that Communication would be one of my primary Signature Themes. I was wrong on both counts. And I was impressed with the test. I think the results pegged my personality in many ways, which is both scary and intriguing.
It took me about 30 minutes answer the 180 questions on the test. The results, featuring five of the 34 Signature Themes, supposedly represent the way I naturally think, feel and behave. My five: Includer, Woo (which stands for “Winning Others Over”), Responsibility, Activator and Input. The names of the Signature Themes may seem like psychological mumbo-jumbo, but the authors do a good job of describing each one, making them easy to understand.
Buckingham and Clifton say we can use three clues to identify or confirm our talents: yearnings, rapid learning and satisfaction. Our yearnings reflect a physical reality that show how our brains are wired. “So no matter how repressive the external influences prove to be, these stronger connections will keep calling out to you,” they write. Rapid learning describes the feeling of your brain lighting up when you learn a new skill that suits you. “…If you learn it rapidly, you should look deeper,” they say. “You will be able to identify the talent or talents that made it possible.” The final clue is satisfaction. When you operate within your talents, it feels good.
When I studied the description of my top five Signature Themes, then compared them to my life experience, I could see the truth in the descriptions. The Signature Theme Input describes a person who is inquisitive and excited by the world’s complexity and infinite variety. That’s why I find writing so stimulating. As a journalist I’m confronted daily with realities – everything from crime, homelessness and celebrity success – that challenge my assumptions.
I see my propensity to be an Includer almost every day, too. When a new person came to my school, or now when a new employee comes to my office, I feel an immediate need to introduce myself and make them feel welcome. I don’t do it out of obligation, but because I enjoy meeting people and helping them integrate into the mainstream. I’ve also seen that some of my greatest moments of shame came from betraying my natural instinct to include others. As an adolescent, I remember joining a group in bullying some poor kid; I still regret that.
According to Buckingham and Clifton, a person’s Signature Themes have little to say about what field he should be in, although they do offer some guidance about roles. The Gallup Organization conducted more than 2 million interviews to develop the book and survey, and found people with similar talents often excelled in very different fields. Also, people with different talents can excel in the same roles. The authors say the primary truth is that “you will be most successful when you craft your role to play to your signature talents most of the time.”
If there’s one critique I have of, Now, Discover Your Strengths, it’s that it left me wanting more. The book and online survey fulfill their promise – they identified my natural talents and encouraged me to focus on them. But the book didn’t tell me how to apply my talents to life so they become strengths. I want Buckingham and Clifton to show me steps I can take to turn my Signature Themes into skills I can use in everyday life. Realistically, this is probably asking too much of any book, and the authors have given their readers a good launching point. I have the rest of my life to figure out how the rest.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Career VS Calling
(by Gary Barkalow)
During the 1998 World Soccer Championship, Nike ran a commercial with no narrative and only one phrase at the bottom of the screen. The scene begins with a man setting the timer on his watch, opening his front door and starting to run. Suddenly, runners, one after another, representing different countries, begin to appear behind him. Struggling to maintain his astounding position against the world's best, he pushes past his known limits. The commercial ends with him sprinting down the alley he started on, toward his front door. He runs up the front porch, opens and closes the door, hits his timer button on his watch and slowly walks further back into his house, never looking back. The commercial ends with the phrase, "What are you getting ready for?"
Whether you're a freshman registering for your first spate of classes or a senior filling out job applications, that question hangs heavy in the mind of most students. What does your future hold and what courses should you take to prepare for it? I've heard of students covering seven or eight majors in the course of four years, finally settling for one in a desperate attempt to graduate on time. Why is it so hard to choose a major? Maybe because you feel like you're being forced to commit to a life long career path. But what if you get three years out from college and decide zoology wasn't such a glamorous vocation after all?
As important as this decision seems, there is more at stake than good money and self-fulfillment on the job. God is shaping you for something bigger. In Ephesians, Paul reminds us that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10). God has something specific in mind for you — your calling. And the decisions you make about your major, your job, even the way you spend your time flow from knowing what your calling is.
Know Your Own Heart
The call of God is both universal and personal. He desires intimate relationship with all of his creation — a universal longing that none would perish. Yet, when you heed that call, there is a deeper plan to discover — a specific assignment only you can complete; "the Lord has assigned to each his task" (1 Corinthians 3:5).
You are unique among God's creation. In addition to His universal commands (do justice, love mercy, etc.) He placed in you a call that is unlike any other. "The call of God ... is implicit," wrote Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest. It's "like the call of the sea, no one hears it but the one who has the nature of the sea in him. It cannot be stated definitely what the call of God is to, because His call is to be in comradeship with Himself for His own purposes...."
The Fat Eagle's Fate
In 1984, I was in the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games. Los Angeles. The entertainment capitol of the world. Everyone expected it to be one of the most spectacular opening ceremonies to date. Plans included the flight of an American Bald Eagle from the western rim of the L.A. Coliseum, around the perimeter, to the top of the Olympic Rings at the playing of the National Anthem.
The choreographers hired one of the top Hollywood trainers to work with the eagle. But, he ran into several problems. First, the eagle was a member of the distinguished endangered species list and extremely hard to find. The trainer found only one in captivity. Second, the eagle — misfortunately named Bomber — had not flown during his 12 years of captivity. He looked more like a Butterball Turkey than a eagle. After two months of intense training, Bomber journeyed to the coliseum for several trial runs.
Tragically, the stress of the rehearsal killed him. Actually, he died of vascular collapse and an acute bacterial infection. In the words of the trainer, reported in Time magazine, "The eagle had been fat and coddled for years and when finally called upon to behave like an eagle, he failed."
In this life, there is something you will be called to do. Through the enabling of the Holy Spirit and your passion and gifting, God is equipping you to do His will. Are you training? Are you ready? When it's time for your flight, will you be toned and strong, or coddled and fat?
Unlocking the Secret
Janey feels a "calling" to the mission field, Mark is driven to be a doctor, and Alyssa wants to go to the inner city as a teacher. But you're just happy to be passing biology. So you're thinking, Are you sure everyone has this overarching purpose in life, this so-called calling? How do you discover something you've never thought about, when it sounds as easy as holding the wind in your hands? God promised in the Psalms that He would guide us: "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you" (Ps. 32:8). In addition to spending a lot of time talking with God about His plans for your life, you can take your cues from the person He created you to be.
Your life is full of hints about your calling. They're woven through your dreams and passions and visible in what motivates you and what you're good at. First, you become aware of needs. You may find yourself thinking, Something needs to be done for the homeless and hungry in our city; for single moms left alone to fend for themselves and their children; for those who haven't heard a compassionate and clear presentation of the Gospel; for the outlandish policies government is making.
Over time, your interests narrow. You start thinking, reading and talking about one need more than others. You move from thinking about homeless shelters, to actually working in one. It's becoming intensely personal now. Eventually, if your heart is not "choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures" (Luke 8:14-15), you will find focus on one or two of those areas and be moved almost irrepressibly to action. You may start working full time for a homeless shelter, become actively involved as a board member or run for public office.
What needs weigh heavily on your heart? Is there an issue worth "pounding the table" over? Is there a problem you feel compelled to solve?
Trading Somersaults for Spreadsheets
You don't just think. You also do. What are you good at doing? God created us with the potential and nature to do His will — your calling is accompanied by the innate qualities and characteristics you'll need to live it. Your gifting includes spiritual gifts, natural abilities, acquired skills and personality traits — all of which God imparts and develops. Your gifts enable your passions. Without them, you'll be limited. That's why so much of life, especially in college, has more to do with what God is doing in us than through us. Our ability to grow and improve will determine our ability to fulfill our calling.
Typically, your gifting determines what you enjoy doing. When you are operating in the abilities God has created in you, for His purposes, you will experience joy. Mistakenly, we can sometimes feel guilty - not guilty about what we do enjoy but rather about what we don't enjoy. Again, God has put the desire in us to do certain things in certain ways.
Even if you're not living according to God's will, you will find joy when you use the talents God has given you - your "natural abilities." They are an intricate part of your design. This is true for most people. But that joy will be limited and meaningless.
Joy does not preclude hardship. Oswald Chambers said "God gives us a vision and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way." Struggles, frustrations, small steps forward, failures, misunderstanding, brokenness: unless these, too, are welcomed with a certain joy, the claim to being called has a hollow ring.
I was a gymnast for fifteen years with Athletes in Action, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. During my final year, I sensed that God was leading me to fulfill my calling somewhere else. I struggled with this because I enjoyed what I was doing and wasn't dreaming of doing something else. A friend of mine asked me several, very penetrating questions. He asked if I was passionate about evangelism. That was a tough question for me. After all, I worked for an aggressive evangelistic organization committed to reaching the world with the Gospel by the year 2,000. With a little bit of guilt, I admitted that, although I was committed to the importance of evangelism, I was not passionate about it. Then he asked me if I was passionate about sports. With a little embarrassment, I admitted that the only sport I was passionate about was gymnastics (and that was fading along with my back handspring).
Then he asked me what I really enjoyed about my work. I told him that I loved to help people and organizations find clarity and purpose in their work. That was a point of revelation. Suddenly, I could put my finger on what God had put in my heart to do. Shortly after we talked, Focus on the Family offered me a job that relied on these skills. I knew fairly quickly, by knowing what motivates me and what I'm good at, that God was moving me.
Before I started with Focus, another friend counseled me that God may be placing me in a new setting because my gifting and character needed to be stretched and developed beyond what it was in my current job. Both conversations proved critical to what I was to encounter. During my first year, I felt totally lost. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do or what I had to offer. I doubted every ability and interest I thought I had, even the belief that there was a calling on my life. I was so busy trying to fit in, to be somebody, to do something that was appreciated and needed, that I forgot who I was. If it wasn't for God, I would have lost my heart. God reassured me that He was in this to deepen my character. After twelve months, I realized that I needed to live from my heart, to bring who I was, not who I thought others wanted me to be, to the position and to God. It was at that point that my enthusiasm and sense of calling returned. My contribution to my position increased dramatically because I was working out of my passion and gifting, with a renewed sense of intimacy with God.
There are many tests, inventories and indicators you can take to learn what your spiritual gifts, personality type and abilities are. One of the most helpful things I did to bring more clarity to my calling was to identify several action words that describe what motivates me. These words create for me a sense of excitement and energy. You see, each person has a certain way of operating, a mode of action, that is unique. I discovered my "action verbs" by drawing a line down the center of a marker board. On one side I wrote the things I enjoyed doing — the things that energized me — over the past two years. On the other side I wrote the things I disliked; the things that sapped my strength. When my list was finished, there was a theme of common words that portrayed my heart in action. (You can do this exercise, too.)
Once you know your action verbs, review them frequently and see if they continue to represent your heart. When you have established several words that describe your enthusiasm and gifting, you will be better able to discern the opportunities that God is putting before you in alignment with your calling. In Matthew 25, Jesus tells us about a man who, in preparation for his journey, gave each of his servants an opportunity for investment and achievement. He did not give them identical opportunities, or talents. Instead, he gave each servant a portion consistent with their ability. In the same way, God gives us opportunities according to our abilities, which we will only recognize if we know what our gifting is.
The Ultimate Why
Discovering and developing your calling sounds like a lot of work. But it's worth it. Calling is essential to your spiritual life. When you live out of your passion and gifting, trusting God to lead you, you are truly alive. Bill and Kathy Peek write about it in their book, Discover Your Destiny.
When we are engaged in what God has called us to do, every part of our spiritual life comes alive. There's a reason to grow. We have a compelling reason to pray, to stay in close contact with our leader and Guide when we walk unfamiliar, threatening paths. There's a strong drive for fellowship, allies and friends, close at hand, because what God calls us to, we can't do alone. There's an undeniable need for worship, a clear vision of who God is and His commitment to meet our every need as we walk with Him into the future.
God has gifted you to do a work for which you are uniquely qualified. The Apostle Paul urges us to offer our bodies — our very selves — as a living sacrifice to God (Romans 12:1). This offering can't be made in some abstract way with pious words or religious acts. That is why, according to Os Guiness in The Call, "calling is the most comprehensive reorientation and the most profound motivation in human experience; the ultimate why for living in all history."
During the 1998 World Soccer Championship, Nike ran a commercial with no narrative and only one phrase at the bottom of the screen. The scene begins with a man setting the timer on his watch, opening his front door and starting to run. Suddenly, runners, one after another, representing different countries, begin to appear behind him. Struggling to maintain his astounding position against the world's best, he pushes past his known limits. The commercial ends with him sprinting down the alley he started on, toward his front door. He runs up the front porch, opens and closes the door, hits his timer button on his watch and slowly walks further back into his house, never looking back. The commercial ends with the phrase, "What are you getting ready for?"
Whether you're a freshman registering for your first spate of classes or a senior filling out job applications, that question hangs heavy in the mind of most students. What does your future hold and what courses should you take to prepare for it? I've heard of students covering seven or eight majors in the course of four years, finally settling for one in a desperate attempt to graduate on time. Why is it so hard to choose a major? Maybe because you feel like you're being forced to commit to a life long career path. But what if you get three years out from college and decide zoology wasn't such a glamorous vocation after all?
As important as this decision seems, there is more at stake than good money and self-fulfillment on the job. God is shaping you for something bigger. In Ephesians, Paul reminds us that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10). God has something specific in mind for you — your calling. And the decisions you make about your major, your job, even the way you spend your time flow from knowing what your calling is.
Know Your Own Heart
The call of God is both universal and personal. He desires intimate relationship with all of his creation — a universal longing that none would perish. Yet, when you heed that call, there is a deeper plan to discover — a specific assignment only you can complete; "the Lord has assigned to each his task" (1 Corinthians 3:5).
You are unique among God's creation. In addition to His universal commands (do justice, love mercy, etc.) He placed in you a call that is unlike any other. "The call of God ... is implicit," wrote Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest. It's "like the call of the sea, no one hears it but the one who has the nature of the sea in him. It cannot be stated definitely what the call of God is to, because His call is to be in comradeship with Himself for His own purposes...."
The Fat Eagle's Fate
In 1984, I was in the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games. Los Angeles. The entertainment capitol of the world. Everyone expected it to be one of the most spectacular opening ceremonies to date. Plans included the flight of an American Bald Eagle from the western rim of the L.A. Coliseum, around the perimeter, to the top of the Olympic Rings at the playing of the National Anthem.
The choreographers hired one of the top Hollywood trainers to work with the eagle. But, he ran into several problems. First, the eagle was a member of the distinguished endangered species list and extremely hard to find. The trainer found only one in captivity. Second, the eagle — misfortunately named Bomber — had not flown during his 12 years of captivity. He looked more like a Butterball Turkey than a eagle. After two months of intense training, Bomber journeyed to the coliseum for several trial runs.
Tragically, the stress of the rehearsal killed him. Actually, he died of vascular collapse and an acute bacterial infection. In the words of the trainer, reported in Time magazine, "The eagle had been fat and coddled for years and when finally called upon to behave like an eagle, he failed."
In this life, there is something you will be called to do. Through the enabling of the Holy Spirit and your passion and gifting, God is equipping you to do His will. Are you training? Are you ready? When it's time for your flight, will you be toned and strong, or coddled and fat?
Unlocking the Secret
Janey feels a "calling" to the mission field, Mark is driven to be a doctor, and Alyssa wants to go to the inner city as a teacher. But you're just happy to be passing biology. So you're thinking, Are you sure everyone has this overarching purpose in life, this so-called calling? How do you discover something you've never thought about, when it sounds as easy as holding the wind in your hands? God promised in the Psalms that He would guide us: "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you" (Ps. 32:8). In addition to spending a lot of time talking with God about His plans for your life, you can take your cues from the person He created you to be.
Your life is full of hints about your calling. They're woven through your dreams and passions and visible in what motivates you and what you're good at. First, you become aware of needs. You may find yourself thinking, Something needs to be done for the homeless and hungry in our city; for single moms left alone to fend for themselves and their children; for those who haven't heard a compassionate and clear presentation of the Gospel; for the outlandish policies government is making.
Over time, your interests narrow. You start thinking, reading and talking about one need more than others. You move from thinking about homeless shelters, to actually working in one. It's becoming intensely personal now. Eventually, if your heart is not "choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures" (Luke 8:14-15), you will find focus on one or two of those areas and be moved almost irrepressibly to action. You may start working full time for a homeless shelter, become actively involved as a board member or run for public office.
What needs weigh heavily on your heart? Is there an issue worth "pounding the table" over? Is there a problem you feel compelled to solve?
Trading Somersaults for Spreadsheets
You don't just think. You also do. What are you good at doing? God created us with the potential and nature to do His will — your calling is accompanied by the innate qualities and characteristics you'll need to live it. Your gifting includes spiritual gifts, natural abilities, acquired skills and personality traits — all of which God imparts and develops. Your gifts enable your passions. Without them, you'll be limited. That's why so much of life, especially in college, has more to do with what God is doing in us than through us. Our ability to grow and improve will determine our ability to fulfill our calling.
Typically, your gifting determines what you enjoy doing. When you are operating in the abilities God has created in you, for His purposes, you will experience joy. Mistakenly, we can sometimes feel guilty - not guilty about what we do enjoy but rather about what we don't enjoy. Again, God has put the desire in us to do certain things in certain ways.
Even if you're not living according to God's will, you will find joy when you use the talents God has given you - your "natural abilities." They are an intricate part of your design. This is true for most people. But that joy will be limited and meaningless.
Joy does not preclude hardship. Oswald Chambers said "God gives us a vision and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way." Struggles, frustrations, small steps forward, failures, misunderstanding, brokenness: unless these, too, are welcomed with a certain joy, the claim to being called has a hollow ring.
I was a gymnast for fifteen years with Athletes in Action, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. During my final year, I sensed that God was leading me to fulfill my calling somewhere else. I struggled with this because I enjoyed what I was doing and wasn't dreaming of doing something else. A friend of mine asked me several, very penetrating questions. He asked if I was passionate about evangelism. That was a tough question for me. After all, I worked for an aggressive evangelistic organization committed to reaching the world with the Gospel by the year 2,000. With a little bit of guilt, I admitted that, although I was committed to the importance of evangelism, I was not passionate about it. Then he asked me if I was passionate about sports. With a little embarrassment, I admitted that the only sport I was passionate about was gymnastics (and that was fading along with my back handspring).
Then he asked me what I really enjoyed about my work. I told him that I loved to help people and organizations find clarity and purpose in their work. That was a point of revelation. Suddenly, I could put my finger on what God had put in my heart to do. Shortly after we talked, Focus on the Family offered me a job that relied on these skills. I knew fairly quickly, by knowing what motivates me and what I'm good at, that God was moving me.
Before I started with Focus, another friend counseled me that God may be placing me in a new setting because my gifting and character needed to be stretched and developed beyond what it was in my current job. Both conversations proved critical to what I was to encounter. During my first year, I felt totally lost. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do or what I had to offer. I doubted every ability and interest I thought I had, even the belief that there was a calling on my life. I was so busy trying to fit in, to be somebody, to do something that was appreciated and needed, that I forgot who I was. If it wasn't for God, I would have lost my heart. God reassured me that He was in this to deepen my character. After twelve months, I realized that I needed to live from my heart, to bring who I was, not who I thought others wanted me to be, to the position and to God. It was at that point that my enthusiasm and sense of calling returned. My contribution to my position increased dramatically because I was working out of my passion and gifting, with a renewed sense of intimacy with God.
There are many tests, inventories and indicators you can take to learn what your spiritual gifts, personality type and abilities are. One of the most helpful things I did to bring more clarity to my calling was to identify several action words that describe what motivates me. These words create for me a sense of excitement and energy. You see, each person has a certain way of operating, a mode of action, that is unique. I discovered my "action verbs" by drawing a line down the center of a marker board. On one side I wrote the things I enjoyed doing — the things that energized me — over the past two years. On the other side I wrote the things I disliked; the things that sapped my strength. When my list was finished, there was a theme of common words that portrayed my heart in action. (You can do this exercise, too.)
Once you know your action verbs, review them frequently and see if they continue to represent your heart. When you have established several words that describe your enthusiasm and gifting, you will be better able to discern the opportunities that God is putting before you in alignment with your calling. In Matthew 25, Jesus tells us about a man who, in preparation for his journey, gave each of his servants an opportunity for investment and achievement. He did not give them identical opportunities, or talents. Instead, he gave each servant a portion consistent with their ability. In the same way, God gives us opportunities according to our abilities, which we will only recognize if we know what our gifting is.
The Ultimate Why
Discovering and developing your calling sounds like a lot of work. But it's worth it. Calling is essential to your spiritual life. When you live out of your passion and gifting, trusting God to lead you, you are truly alive. Bill and Kathy Peek write about it in their book, Discover Your Destiny.
When we are engaged in what God has called us to do, every part of our spiritual life comes alive. There's a reason to grow. We have a compelling reason to pray, to stay in close contact with our leader and Guide when we walk unfamiliar, threatening paths. There's a strong drive for fellowship, allies and friends, close at hand, because what God calls us to, we can't do alone. There's an undeniable need for worship, a clear vision of who God is and His commitment to meet our every need as we walk with Him into the future.
God has gifted you to do a work for which you are uniquely qualified. The Apostle Paul urges us to offer our bodies — our very selves — as a living sacrifice to God (Romans 12:1). This offering can't be made in some abstract way with pious words or religious acts. That is why, according to Os Guiness in The Call, "calling is the most comprehensive reorientation and the most profound motivation in human experience; the ultimate why for living in all history."
Now For The Not-Yet
(by Rachel Starr Thompson)
Source: Boundless
I read a profound thing the other night — in a Charlie Brown cartoon, which is no surprise since I'm always reading profound things in the comics. Charlie Brown comes to Lucy's psychiatric booth to declare that he is depressed. Lucy takes him up on a hill, shows him the vast horizon, and begins to ply him with questions. Does he see all that room for living? Has he ever seen any other worlds? As far as he knows, are there any other worlds for him to live in?
Her final question: "You were born to live in this world ... right?" "Right," he answers — and Lucy hits him with the punch line. "WELL, LIVE IN IT THEN!"
Those are inspiring words. They really are. As a philosophical day-dreamer with a tendency to fatalistic attitudes, I relate very well to Charlie Brown. The idea that here I am, placed in this world for the express purpose of living in it, is almost revolutionary to me.
That is, it was almost revolutionary to me. Sometime in the last 10 years, during the gradual transition from childhood to adulthood, it started to sink in that God wants me to live. To live fully. To live well. And to live not only for a distant future in a heaven that is still far away — that is, the ultimate Not-Yet — but to live in the Now, to live on this earth in the best way I can, recognizing every day as a gift from God. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I wish that life should not be cheap, but sacred. I wish days to be as centuries, loaded and fragrant."
I am here, in the only world that has currently been given to me, and I'm doing my best to live in it. But it's not as easy as it sounds. The apostle Paul described life as a race, as a wrestling match, and also as a battle: He recognized that living, really living as God wants us to, is hard work. We fight sin within us, evil around us, and "spiritual wickedness in high places."
On top of all of that, we fight our own flesh. What do I mean by that? I mean that if we want to really live our days, loaded and fragrant, with purpose and holy joy, we need to fight our inborn laziness, our tendency to forget, our knack for centering on trivial, unsatisfying things, and our propensity to dig ruts and sit in them.
I teach writing, so my years are naturally divided into three distinct seasons: Fall Semester, Spring Semester, and Summer. The breaks in the year afford me a perfect time to reexamine my life. Every four months, I take a hard look at the paths I'm walking. I look especially hard at my habits, for they are the real direction of my life, no matter how many grand pronouncements I may make. Management consultant Peter F. Drucker says, "Long-term planning does not deal with future decisions, but with the future of present decisions." In other words, what am I doing now?
So. Here I am, at the brink of a new semester. It is time again to take stock of my life, to measure the worthiness of my goals, to see if I'm actually moving toward them, and to decide whether changes must be made. This every-four-month system is a good one, because it keeps my ruts from getting too deep before I see the need to leap out of them. In examining life, I want to measure the quality of the Now, but I also want to keep the Not-Yet firmly in mind. Am I living well today? And is the way I'm living actually going to lead to a good, God-honoring future — not just here, but in eternity?
First off, there's my spiritual life. When I examine this, I have to remember that spiritual life is neither really predictable nor actually controllable, because any real spiritual life is a relationship — and the other Half of the relationship rarely conforms to my small-minded expectations. That said, as the small half of this relationship, there are things I can do to keep it healthy.
Foremost among these is prayer. For many years I've had the nagging feeling that my prayer life was lacking. I prayed a lot, usually sporadically throughout the day, but I was always scattered and unfocused. I'd say "I'll pray for you," knowing that I'd probably forget to do so. Over this past summer, though, I made a change in my prayer life that has been revolutionary. I started scheduling prayer times. Short ones, just five, 10, or 15 minutes, five to seven times a day. I got the idea from a Boundless article, actually: Jim Tonkowich's "Hour by Hour: It's Always Time to Pray." I have already seen incredible fruit from this new habit in the Now, and I know it will bear more in the Not-Yet. This habit stays, and I'm making a renewed commitment to doing it diligently.
Mental life is another area to keep an eye on. Are you familiar with the verse that says, "Teach us to number our days"? I always figured it ended with something like this: "So that we may make a difference in this world." Actually, the whole verse says, "So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom" (Ps. 90:12). This is about spiritual life; it's also about our mental lives. I've realized that I need to attend to mine in a serious way.
I try to spend at least half an hour every morning reading my Bible with an open notebook and study references handy. I really want to tackle the meat of scripture, to wrestle with it, to ask questions and seek out answers, to learn how God sees the world and how I'm supposed to respond to that. I want to learn to think biblically. This isn't just for the Now — it's imperative for the Not-Yet. What I learn now, at this stage in my life where I'm able to invest time in study, forms my decision-making processes, my thought patterns, and my mental capabilities for the future.
You can see why this is hard work! Reexamining my life on a regular basis means that I refuse to allow my flesh the upper hand. I don't want to let attitudes, bad habits, or forgetfulness prevent me from really living. Of course, I mess up in all these areas just as fast as I articulate what I want in them. But that doesn't ultimately matter. As long as I get back up, I'll stay on the right paths.
Many other aspects of life bear examination. Work. Health. Recreation. Am I doing what God has called me to do? Am I doing it diligently, smartly, with joy? Are my current health habits going to help me in the Not-Yet, or are they more likely to land me with lifelong problems I don't want? Do I spend my recreation time actually re-creating — doing things that build me up — or am I frittering it away with activities I don't much care for? How about finances? Am I giving? Could I give more? Are my spending and savings in a healthy balance? Was all that Starbucks really necessary — a real blessing, or just a bad habit of letting money run out of my pocket every time I smell a latte?
Then there are relationships: the heart and blood of life. "Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not," instructs Proverbs 27:10. There's something tragic about a life lived in pursuit of personal growth, goals, and passions, while the people who make life worth living are overlooked. In every season, I want to love my family, my friends, and my God wholeheartedly.
Relationships matter for the Not-Yet, too. Not only does maintaining relationships now ensure that those people will still be there in the future, but it also changes me. Relationships shape us more than anything else. In the future, I want to be loving, loyal, diligent, and Christ-like toward others. That will never happen if I neglect the Now.
I wish life to be not cheap, but sacred. God has given us life: God wants us to live it. Christians do not need to live defeatist, fate-driven, circumstance-directed lives. We can make decisions and choices that will shape our lives for the glory of God.
I wish you the best as you reexamine the paths your feet are on. May they lead you through days that are fragrant, that are loaded, that present themselves to you each day as gifts from a glorious God.
Source: Boundless
I read a profound thing the other night — in a Charlie Brown cartoon, which is no surprise since I'm always reading profound things in the comics. Charlie Brown comes to Lucy's psychiatric booth to declare that he is depressed. Lucy takes him up on a hill, shows him the vast horizon, and begins to ply him with questions. Does he see all that room for living? Has he ever seen any other worlds? As far as he knows, are there any other worlds for him to live in?
Her final question: "You were born to live in this world ... right?" "Right," he answers — and Lucy hits him with the punch line. "WELL, LIVE IN IT THEN!"
Those are inspiring words. They really are. As a philosophical day-dreamer with a tendency to fatalistic attitudes, I relate very well to Charlie Brown. The idea that here I am, placed in this world for the express purpose of living in it, is almost revolutionary to me.
That is, it was almost revolutionary to me. Sometime in the last 10 years, during the gradual transition from childhood to adulthood, it started to sink in that God wants me to live. To live fully. To live well. And to live not only for a distant future in a heaven that is still far away — that is, the ultimate Not-Yet — but to live in the Now, to live on this earth in the best way I can, recognizing every day as a gift from God. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I wish that life should not be cheap, but sacred. I wish days to be as centuries, loaded and fragrant."
I am here, in the only world that has currently been given to me, and I'm doing my best to live in it. But it's not as easy as it sounds. The apostle Paul described life as a race, as a wrestling match, and also as a battle: He recognized that living, really living as God wants us to, is hard work. We fight sin within us, evil around us, and "spiritual wickedness in high places."
On top of all of that, we fight our own flesh. What do I mean by that? I mean that if we want to really live our days, loaded and fragrant, with purpose and holy joy, we need to fight our inborn laziness, our tendency to forget, our knack for centering on trivial, unsatisfying things, and our propensity to dig ruts and sit in them.
I teach writing, so my years are naturally divided into three distinct seasons: Fall Semester, Spring Semester, and Summer. The breaks in the year afford me a perfect time to reexamine my life. Every four months, I take a hard look at the paths I'm walking. I look especially hard at my habits, for they are the real direction of my life, no matter how many grand pronouncements I may make. Management consultant Peter F. Drucker says, "Long-term planning does not deal with future decisions, but with the future of present decisions." In other words, what am I doing now?
So. Here I am, at the brink of a new semester. It is time again to take stock of my life, to measure the worthiness of my goals, to see if I'm actually moving toward them, and to decide whether changes must be made. This every-four-month system is a good one, because it keeps my ruts from getting too deep before I see the need to leap out of them. In examining life, I want to measure the quality of the Now, but I also want to keep the Not-Yet firmly in mind. Am I living well today? And is the way I'm living actually going to lead to a good, God-honoring future — not just here, but in eternity?
First off, there's my spiritual life. When I examine this, I have to remember that spiritual life is neither really predictable nor actually controllable, because any real spiritual life is a relationship — and the other Half of the relationship rarely conforms to my small-minded expectations. That said, as the small half of this relationship, there are things I can do to keep it healthy.
Foremost among these is prayer. For many years I've had the nagging feeling that my prayer life was lacking. I prayed a lot, usually sporadically throughout the day, but I was always scattered and unfocused. I'd say "I'll pray for you," knowing that I'd probably forget to do so. Over this past summer, though, I made a change in my prayer life that has been revolutionary. I started scheduling prayer times. Short ones, just five, 10, or 15 minutes, five to seven times a day. I got the idea from a Boundless article, actually: Jim Tonkowich's "Hour by Hour: It's Always Time to Pray." I have already seen incredible fruit from this new habit in the Now, and I know it will bear more in the Not-Yet. This habit stays, and I'm making a renewed commitment to doing it diligently.
Mental life is another area to keep an eye on. Are you familiar with the verse that says, "Teach us to number our days"? I always figured it ended with something like this: "So that we may make a difference in this world." Actually, the whole verse says, "So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom" (Ps. 90:12). This is about spiritual life; it's also about our mental lives. I've realized that I need to attend to mine in a serious way.
I try to spend at least half an hour every morning reading my Bible with an open notebook and study references handy. I really want to tackle the meat of scripture, to wrestle with it, to ask questions and seek out answers, to learn how God sees the world and how I'm supposed to respond to that. I want to learn to think biblically. This isn't just for the Now — it's imperative for the Not-Yet. What I learn now, at this stage in my life where I'm able to invest time in study, forms my decision-making processes, my thought patterns, and my mental capabilities for the future.
You can see why this is hard work! Reexamining my life on a regular basis means that I refuse to allow my flesh the upper hand. I don't want to let attitudes, bad habits, or forgetfulness prevent me from really living. Of course, I mess up in all these areas just as fast as I articulate what I want in them. But that doesn't ultimately matter. As long as I get back up, I'll stay on the right paths.
Many other aspects of life bear examination. Work. Health. Recreation. Am I doing what God has called me to do? Am I doing it diligently, smartly, with joy? Are my current health habits going to help me in the Not-Yet, or are they more likely to land me with lifelong problems I don't want? Do I spend my recreation time actually re-creating — doing things that build me up — or am I frittering it away with activities I don't much care for? How about finances? Am I giving? Could I give more? Are my spending and savings in a healthy balance? Was all that Starbucks really necessary — a real blessing, or just a bad habit of letting money run out of my pocket every time I smell a latte?
Then there are relationships: the heart and blood of life. "Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not," instructs Proverbs 27:10. There's something tragic about a life lived in pursuit of personal growth, goals, and passions, while the people who make life worth living are overlooked. In every season, I want to love my family, my friends, and my God wholeheartedly.
Relationships matter for the Not-Yet, too. Not only does maintaining relationships now ensure that those people will still be there in the future, but it also changes me. Relationships shape us more than anything else. In the future, I want to be loving, loyal, diligent, and Christ-like toward others. That will never happen if I neglect the Now.
I wish life to be not cheap, but sacred. God has given us life: God wants us to live it. Christians do not need to live defeatist, fate-driven, circumstance-directed lives. We can make decisions and choices that will shape our lives for the glory of God.
I wish you the best as you reexamine the paths your feet are on. May they lead you through days that are fragrant, that are loaded, that present themselves to you each day as gifts from a glorious God.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Genious Blind Girl
Just see for yourself... one of God's masterpiece... and definitely one of His beloved daughters...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Life's Most Important Choice
(by Dr. Robert Jeffress)
Any student of the Bible might wonder why the book of Genesis devotes more space to Joseph’s life than to Adam and Eve, the first couple, or to Noah, the hero of the ark and the flood, or to Abraham, father of the Jewish nation. I believe the answer is that Joseph illustrates one of life’s most important choices: the choice to forgive.
Think for a moment what would have happened if Joseph had not forgiven his brothers. Imagine that when his brothers came requesting grain, Joseph had answered, “You want food? Funny you should mention that. Just today I was thinking about how much I wanted food when you left me for dead in that stinking pit.”
Had Joseph held on to his desire for vengeance and allowed his brothers to starve to death, the lasting consequences would have reverberated throughout eternity. Instead, Joseph’s remarkable story not only ensured the development of the nation of Israel, from whom Jesus Christ would come to save the world, but also serves as an inspiration and illustration for how we’re to bestow true forgiveness upon others.
True Forgiveness Admits That Someone Has Wronged You
How often have you heard the following advice: “Stop playing the blame game. Instead of concentrating on what other people have done to you, focus on the wrongs you have committed”? Such counsel, while sounding pious, is actually lethal to the process of true forgiveness. You cannot forgive another person without first acknowledging that they’ve wronged you. Lewis Smedes writes: “We do not excuse the person we forgive; we blame the person we forgive.”
Joseph understood the importance of assigning blame to his brothers. In his confrontation with them he did not act like a Pollyanna by saying, “Now guys, I know you didn’t mean to sell me into slavery. You were probably just having a bad day. Let’s forget this ever happened.”
Nor does he acknowledge his own partial responsibility for his childhood conflict with them by saying, “Brothers, there’s enough blame to share among all of us. Let’s allow bygones to be bygones and try and start over.” Instead, Joseph is painfully direct: “You meant evil against me.” Joseph was saying in effect, “What you did to me was inexcusable. You and you alone are to blame for the years of unjust suffering I endured.”
Nor did such a statement reveal unresolved bitterness in his life. With his next words — “but God meant it for good” — Joseph showed that he was focused not on his brothers’ offenses, but on God’s sovereignty over the situation. Nevertheless, Joseph understood that we cannot forgive people we aren’t willing to blame.
In the same way, before you can forgive someone, you must first identify who and what you’re forgiving. You must admit (at least to yourself) that an injustice has occurred.
True Forgiveness Acknowledges That a Debt Exists
Wrongs create obligations. A traffic violation results in a fine. A guilty verdict results in a sentence. A broken curfew results in grounding. Sin results in eternal death. “For the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). Usually we think of wages positively, but Paul uses the term negatively: Because of our sin we have “earned” eternal separation from God. Wrongs result in an indebtedness.
Joseph not only admitted that his brothers wronged him, but that they owed him for what they had done. When Joseph said, “do not be afraid” (Genesis 50:19), he was implying that they had every reason to be afraid! They deserved the death sentence for what they had done, and with a simple nod Joseph could have had them executed. Before either we or our offender can appreciate the freedom that comes from forgiveness, we must first understand the obligation that accrues from our offense.
Yesterday morning I was in a hurry to get to work and was doing about 70 miles per hour when I sailed past a patrolman. I’m not sure he noticed me. Or perhaps he did notice me and even recognized me and decided that it was “Be Nice to a Speeding Pastor Day” and let me off the hook.
But suppose the patrolman had turned on his lights and siren and stopped me. He would have reminded me of the speed limit for that stretch of road, then informed me to what degree I had violated that, as well as the penalty for such a violation. He might then have continued, “Although I should throw the book at you, I’m going to let you go this time. However, if I ever catch you speeding again …” But before “forgiving” me of my violation and deserved penalty, he would still have made it clear what that violation and penalty were.
Before we can properly forgive another person, we must accurately access what he or she owes us.
When you think of the word forgive, does someone’s name immediately come to your mind? In addition to identifying exactly what that person had done to you, I encourage you to calculate the debt he or she owes you for that wrong. Be severe as you think you need to be.
“Because of your affair, I should divorce you.”
“Because of your negligence, I should sue you.”
“Because of your actions, I should prosecute you.”
Remember, offenses always create obligations.
True Forgiveness Releases our Offender of His or Her Obligation
Only after we’ve identified the offense committed and calculated the debt owed can we truly forgive the other person. Remember that the word “forgive” means to release another person of his obligation toward us, as Joseph did. Instead of giving his brothers the death sentence they most certainly deserved, he formally released them from their debt by giving them a new land that they did not deserve:
“And you shall live in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children and your flocks and your herds and all that you have (Genesis 45:10).
In the same way, there needs to be a specific time when you formally release your offender of his obligation toward you. Whether or not you choose to voice your forgiveness to your offender, you can express it to God. Visualize in your mind the person who has wronged you. Admit to God that you’ve been hurt — deeply hurt — by what he or she had done to you. Calculate what that person owes you for the offense: money, separation, divorce, jail, or maybe death. Finally, let me encourage you to pray something like this: “What ______ did to me was wrong, and he should pay for what he did. But today I’m releasing him of his obligation to me. Not because he deserves it, or has even asked for my forgiveness, but because You, God, have released me from the debt I owe You.”
Source: Crosswalk
Any student of the Bible might wonder why the book of Genesis devotes more space to Joseph’s life than to Adam and Eve, the first couple, or to Noah, the hero of the ark and the flood, or to Abraham, father of the Jewish nation. I believe the answer is that Joseph illustrates one of life’s most important choices: the choice to forgive.
Think for a moment what would have happened if Joseph had not forgiven his brothers. Imagine that when his brothers came requesting grain, Joseph had answered, “You want food? Funny you should mention that. Just today I was thinking about how much I wanted food when you left me for dead in that stinking pit.”
Had Joseph held on to his desire for vengeance and allowed his brothers to starve to death, the lasting consequences would have reverberated throughout eternity. Instead, Joseph’s remarkable story not only ensured the development of the nation of Israel, from whom Jesus Christ would come to save the world, but also serves as an inspiration and illustration for how we’re to bestow true forgiveness upon others.
True Forgiveness Admits That Someone Has Wronged You
How often have you heard the following advice: “Stop playing the blame game. Instead of concentrating on what other people have done to you, focus on the wrongs you have committed”? Such counsel, while sounding pious, is actually lethal to the process of true forgiveness. You cannot forgive another person without first acknowledging that they’ve wronged you. Lewis Smedes writes: “We do not excuse the person we forgive; we blame the person we forgive.”
Joseph understood the importance of assigning blame to his brothers. In his confrontation with them he did not act like a Pollyanna by saying, “Now guys, I know you didn’t mean to sell me into slavery. You were probably just having a bad day. Let’s forget this ever happened.”
Nor does he acknowledge his own partial responsibility for his childhood conflict with them by saying, “Brothers, there’s enough blame to share among all of us. Let’s allow bygones to be bygones and try and start over.” Instead, Joseph is painfully direct: “You meant evil against me.” Joseph was saying in effect, “What you did to me was inexcusable. You and you alone are to blame for the years of unjust suffering I endured.”
Nor did such a statement reveal unresolved bitterness in his life. With his next words — “but God meant it for good” — Joseph showed that he was focused not on his brothers’ offenses, but on God’s sovereignty over the situation. Nevertheless, Joseph understood that we cannot forgive people we aren’t willing to blame.
In the same way, before you can forgive someone, you must first identify who and what you’re forgiving. You must admit (at least to yourself) that an injustice has occurred.
True Forgiveness Acknowledges That a Debt Exists
Wrongs create obligations. A traffic violation results in a fine. A guilty verdict results in a sentence. A broken curfew results in grounding. Sin results in eternal death. “For the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). Usually we think of wages positively, but Paul uses the term negatively: Because of our sin we have “earned” eternal separation from God. Wrongs result in an indebtedness.
Joseph not only admitted that his brothers wronged him, but that they owed him for what they had done. When Joseph said, “do not be afraid” (Genesis 50:19), he was implying that they had every reason to be afraid! They deserved the death sentence for what they had done, and with a simple nod Joseph could have had them executed. Before either we or our offender can appreciate the freedom that comes from forgiveness, we must first understand the obligation that accrues from our offense.
Yesterday morning I was in a hurry to get to work and was doing about 70 miles per hour when I sailed past a patrolman. I’m not sure he noticed me. Or perhaps he did notice me and even recognized me and decided that it was “Be Nice to a Speeding Pastor Day” and let me off the hook.
But suppose the patrolman had turned on his lights and siren and stopped me. He would have reminded me of the speed limit for that stretch of road, then informed me to what degree I had violated that, as well as the penalty for such a violation. He might then have continued, “Although I should throw the book at you, I’m going to let you go this time. However, if I ever catch you speeding again …” But before “forgiving” me of my violation and deserved penalty, he would still have made it clear what that violation and penalty were.
Before we can properly forgive another person, we must accurately access what he or she owes us.
When you think of the word forgive, does someone’s name immediately come to your mind? In addition to identifying exactly what that person had done to you, I encourage you to calculate the debt he or she owes you for that wrong. Be severe as you think you need to be.
“Because of your affair, I should divorce you.”
“Because of your negligence, I should sue you.”
“Because of your actions, I should prosecute you.”
Remember, offenses always create obligations.
True Forgiveness Releases our Offender of His or Her Obligation
Only after we’ve identified the offense committed and calculated the debt owed can we truly forgive the other person. Remember that the word “forgive” means to release another person of his obligation toward us, as Joseph did. Instead of giving his brothers the death sentence they most certainly deserved, he formally released them from their debt by giving them a new land that they did not deserve:
“And you shall live in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children and your flocks and your herds and all that you have (Genesis 45:10).
In the same way, there needs to be a specific time when you formally release your offender of his obligation toward you. Whether or not you choose to voice your forgiveness to your offender, you can express it to God. Visualize in your mind the person who has wronged you. Admit to God that you’ve been hurt — deeply hurt — by what he or she had done to you. Calculate what that person owes you for the offense: money, separation, divorce, jail, or maybe death. Finally, let me encourage you to pray something like this: “What ______ did to me was wrong, and he should pay for what he did. But today I’m releasing him of his obligation to me. Not because he deserves it, or has even asked for my forgiveness, but because You, God, have released me from the debt I owe You.”
Source: Crosswalk
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
When Our Plans Aren't God's Plans
(by Cliff Young)
Do you ever look at your life and wonder how you got where you are? Do you ever compare your life to your friends’ or neighbors’ lives? Do you ever wonder if you’ll ever reach those goals that you set for yourself or realize the dreams that you have?
Me too.
I’m a planner by nature … and by habit … and by profession. I like to know where I am, where I’m going and what’s going to happen. You can call it being in control or you can call it being a control freak. I’m not one who rebels against changes, but they should all be within the boundaries of MY plan.
Do you know anyone like that? Are you like that? Fortunately for me (and those around me) I’m learning to not be “that” extreme anymore. I used to think that I could plan out my whole life and live it accordingly. Oftentimes, my plans unraveled and I would find myself wondering …
Why did my plans go wrong?
Did I make a wrong turn somewhere that led me down this road?
Are my dreams not going to be realized?
Why me?!
According to Proverbs 16:9 (often quoted by “non-planners”), “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”
I not only “planned” my course in my heart, but also in my mind, body, spirit, on paper and on my calendar! By the time that I graduated from college, I had my whole life laid out before my eyes. One thing that I didn’t “plan” on being at this point in my schedule was SINGLE!
For many of us, our “plans” haven’t worked out exactly according to our calendars and PDAs. For many of us, it’s a constant adjustment to what we had “thought” or “planned.” For many of us, something happened that was totally out of our control.
So, how have you reacted?
Complain? Question? Curse?
Job didn’t “plan” on losing his family, his wealth, and his livelihood. He didn’t plan on being raided, having fireballs fall from the sky killing his livestock, having a tornado hit his family’s house killing his sons and daughters, and being inflicted with boils. He reacted to his situation as many of us probably would have (or do each day when the “unexpected” happens).
“I am disgusted with my life. Let me complain freely. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul” (Job 10:1).
“Why do you reject me, the work of your own hands, while sending joy and prosperity to the wicked? (Job 10:3).
“Cursed be the day of my birth, and cursed be the night when I was conceived” (Job 3:3).
Job’s wife, who was in the midst of the same suffering, said, “Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die” (Job 2:9).
If there was anyone who felt as if he had control over his plans and future, it would have been Job. Here was a man who, according to most standards, was a success. He had a large family, wealth beyond what any of us could imagine, and his health. Beyond that the Lord said, “He is the finest man in all the earth—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and will have nothing to do with evil” (Job 1:8). In other words, he “had it all.”
“But they do not know the Lord’s thoughts or understand his plan” (Micah 4:12).
At one time or another in everyone’s life, we all face disappointment and plans that don’t meet our expectations. If you ever think that you’re the only person on earth that has had their plans and dreams shattered, it only takes one episode of auditions from American Idol to confirm that “you are not alone.”
Emil Zatopek, Four-time Olympic gold medalist, may have prophesied about future American Idol contestants or many of us when he said:
“You can’t climb up to the second floor without a ladder. When you set your aim too high and don’t fulfill it, then your enthusiasm turns to bitterness.”
Lofty goals and aiming high isn’t wrong, in fact a lot of people probably don’t shoot high enough. The question, “How do you deal with disappointment and unfulfilled expectations?” arises when our standards aren’t met and the plans we make don’t work out.
I wonder …
How many of us have had our enthusiasm for something (or somebody) turn into resentment and bitterness?
How many of us still carry baggage from our childhood, from a former job, or from a past relationship?
How many of us are allowing disappointments from yesterday to impact our lives negatively today?
Outcome
Job wasn’t immune to speaking his peace. After many days of questions and complaints from Job, God answered him.
“Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Do you know how its dimensions were determined and who did the surveying? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? Who defined the boundaries of the sea as if burst from the womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and thick darkness? …” (Job 37-41).
Job replied to the Lord, “I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. You ask, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I. And I was talking about things I did not understand, things far too wonderful for me?” (Job 42:1-3).
Are you discouraged, discontent, bitter? The disgruntlement and baggage from expectations not met can take away from the joy and the future that the Lord has, wants, and “plans” for each one of us. That joy often comes in ways we could never imagine or envision for ourselves.
Could the elder Abraham and Sarah have planned on conceiving a baby in their later years? (Genesis 21)
Could the barren Hannah have planned on her womb being opened so she could conceive a baby? (1 Samuel 1)
Could the widowed and childless Ruth have planned on remarrying a wealthy landowner and bearing a son? (Ruth 4)
How?
Despite Job’s outbursts of frustration and exasperation, he never lost faith and he never denounced God.
“At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One” (Job 6:10).
Abraham, Hannah, and Ruth never lost their faith either. They continued to pray and rely upon the Lord during their grief.
“Then Abraham prayed to God …” (Genesis 20:17).
“….For I (Hannah) have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow” (1 Samuel 1:16).
(Boaz to Ruth) “May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully” (Ruth 2:12).
The interesting thing about Job’s case is that he never gets “answers” to his questions, but he does get a renewed vision of God, and died “an old man who had lived a long, good life” (Job 42:17).
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Many times you hear that passage quoted alone, but we really need to read on to receive the full instructions of that passage.
“’In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you,’ says the Lord” (Jeremiah 29:12-14).
The Lord does not hide from us in times of need. Oftentimes, we may be so wrapped up in ourselves and the situation that we don’t even see the Lord in the midst of it.
The next time you find yourself feeling alone or on a path that you didn’t plan on, seek the Lord, take refuge in Him, and spend time in prayer. Ask Him to help you conform your “plans” to His plans for your life.
Source: Crosswalk
Do you ever look at your life and wonder how you got where you are? Do you ever compare your life to your friends’ or neighbors’ lives? Do you ever wonder if you’ll ever reach those goals that you set for yourself or realize the dreams that you have?
Me too.
I’m a planner by nature … and by habit … and by profession. I like to know where I am, where I’m going and what’s going to happen. You can call it being in control or you can call it being a control freak. I’m not one who rebels against changes, but they should all be within the boundaries of MY plan.
Do you know anyone like that? Are you like that? Fortunately for me (and those around me) I’m learning to not be “that” extreme anymore. I used to think that I could plan out my whole life and live it accordingly. Oftentimes, my plans unraveled and I would find myself wondering …
Why did my plans go wrong?
Did I make a wrong turn somewhere that led me down this road?
Are my dreams not going to be realized?
Why me?!
According to Proverbs 16:9 (often quoted by “non-planners”), “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”
I not only “planned” my course in my heart, but also in my mind, body, spirit, on paper and on my calendar! By the time that I graduated from college, I had my whole life laid out before my eyes. One thing that I didn’t “plan” on being at this point in my schedule was SINGLE!
For many of us, our “plans” haven’t worked out exactly according to our calendars and PDAs. For many of us, it’s a constant adjustment to what we had “thought” or “planned.” For many of us, something happened that was totally out of our control.
So, how have you reacted?
Complain? Question? Curse?
Job didn’t “plan” on losing his family, his wealth, and his livelihood. He didn’t plan on being raided, having fireballs fall from the sky killing his livestock, having a tornado hit his family’s house killing his sons and daughters, and being inflicted with boils. He reacted to his situation as many of us probably would have (or do each day when the “unexpected” happens).
“I am disgusted with my life. Let me complain freely. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul” (Job 10:1).
“Why do you reject me, the work of your own hands, while sending joy and prosperity to the wicked? (Job 10:3).
“Cursed be the day of my birth, and cursed be the night when I was conceived” (Job 3:3).
Job’s wife, who was in the midst of the same suffering, said, “Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die” (Job 2:9).
If there was anyone who felt as if he had control over his plans and future, it would have been Job. Here was a man who, according to most standards, was a success. He had a large family, wealth beyond what any of us could imagine, and his health. Beyond that the Lord said, “He is the finest man in all the earth—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and will have nothing to do with evil” (Job 1:8). In other words, he “had it all.”
“But they do not know the Lord’s thoughts or understand his plan” (Micah 4:12).
At one time or another in everyone’s life, we all face disappointment and plans that don’t meet our expectations. If you ever think that you’re the only person on earth that has had their plans and dreams shattered, it only takes one episode of auditions from American Idol to confirm that “you are not alone.”
Emil Zatopek, Four-time Olympic gold medalist, may have prophesied about future American Idol contestants or many of us when he said:
“You can’t climb up to the second floor without a ladder. When you set your aim too high and don’t fulfill it, then your enthusiasm turns to bitterness.”
Lofty goals and aiming high isn’t wrong, in fact a lot of people probably don’t shoot high enough. The question, “How do you deal with disappointment and unfulfilled expectations?” arises when our standards aren’t met and the plans we make don’t work out.
I wonder …
How many of us have had our enthusiasm for something (or somebody) turn into resentment and bitterness?
How many of us still carry baggage from our childhood, from a former job, or from a past relationship?
How many of us are allowing disappointments from yesterday to impact our lives negatively today?
Outcome
Job wasn’t immune to speaking his peace. After many days of questions and complaints from Job, God answered him.
“Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Do you know how its dimensions were determined and who did the surveying? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? Who defined the boundaries of the sea as if burst from the womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and thick darkness? …” (Job 37-41).
Job replied to the Lord, “I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. You ask, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I. And I was talking about things I did not understand, things far too wonderful for me?” (Job 42:1-3).
Are you discouraged, discontent, bitter? The disgruntlement and baggage from expectations not met can take away from the joy and the future that the Lord has, wants, and “plans” for each one of us. That joy often comes in ways we could never imagine or envision for ourselves.
Could the elder Abraham and Sarah have planned on conceiving a baby in their later years? (Genesis 21)
Could the barren Hannah have planned on her womb being opened so she could conceive a baby? (1 Samuel 1)
Could the widowed and childless Ruth have planned on remarrying a wealthy landowner and bearing a son? (Ruth 4)
How?
Despite Job’s outbursts of frustration and exasperation, he never lost faith and he never denounced God.
“At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One” (Job 6:10).
Abraham, Hannah, and Ruth never lost their faith either. They continued to pray and rely upon the Lord during their grief.
“Then Abraham prayed to God …” (Genesis 20:17).
“….For I (Hannah) have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow” (1 Samuel 1:16).
(Boaz to Ruth) “May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully” (Ruth 2:12).
The interesting thing about Job’s case is that he never gets “answers” to his questions, but he does get a renewed vision of God, and died “an old man who had lived a long, good life” (Job 42:17).
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Many times you hear that passage quoted alone, but we really need to read on to receive the full instructions of that passage.
“’In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you,’ says the Lord” (Jeremiah 29:12-14).
The Lord does not hide from us in times of need. Oftentimes, we may be so wrapped up in ourselves and the situation that we don’t even see the Lord in the midst of it.
The next time you find yourself feeling alone or on a path that you didn’t plan on, seek the Lord, take refuge in Him, and spend time in prayer. Ask Him to help you conform your “plans” to His plans for your life.
Source: Crosswalk
Saturday, January 10, 2009
My Best Friend's Marriage
(by Lee Wilson)
Source: crosswalk
If a close friend of yours has gotten married, you probably already know that this causes certain changes to take place in your relationship.
Perhaps you used to pop over whenever you wanted but now you have to call to get on the schedule. It seems activities together now must include your friend's husband or he's notified of plans. In many ways, it seems an intruder has entered your friendship. It's as though you have given up your right to an exclusive friendship with your long-time friend because now you must also befriend his/her spouse. Sometimes it seems you can't have one person without the other.
This is a common description of what happens when friends get married. Some of it is good and some is not. It is good that marriage brings two people together as one, but that does not mean that newlyweds alienate their friends. It also does not mean his wife must be with him at all the football games with the guys. As with most things in life, a balance does exist.
Here are my suggestions and insights for relationships with friends who have gotten married.
During the early days, give your friend time alone with his/her spouse. It might be difficult, but it will be best for them because they need time to develop the oneness spoken of in the Bible. (“And the two shall become one flesh …” Genesis 2:24 and Mark 10:8). They need a period of isolation for them to develop an identity as a couple. They will appreciate your respect for their privacy.
When the time is right, invite your friend and his wife (or her husband) to a movie, dinner or other activity. You will know the time is probably right not just when the two of them return from their honeymoon, but when they are once again participating in normal activities like going to work and church.
It is very important you involve the spouse because most newlyweds go through a period when one or both are insecure in their relationship. This is somewhat normal in the early stages of a marriage because of the seriousness of the commitment and the realization of the vows they have made to each other. The results are often feelings of vulnerability and jealousy.
When you involve the spouse, you are telling him/her that you are not a threat, but a friend. Likely, when the couple feels more secure, you will once again have some time alone with your friend without objection or insecurity from the spouse. It is, however, very important not to rush this.
Understand that you have not lost your friend, but that the conditions of your friendship have changed. The relationship between a husband and wife should be the most intimate and important relationship experienced by human beings. It takes precedence over friendships and even other family members. That is how God instituted marriage and all should respect that fact.
Though second place may not sound fair or encouraging, understand that your friend has not replaced you. Depending on the intensity of your friendship, your friend will likely never replace you, though her commitments and responsibilities have changed.
Preserving Your Friendship
Perhaps the best way to keep a friendship strong after one of you marries is to be the best friend you can be at that stage in life.
As time goes on, your friend could have children. If you are there to baby-sit or be a good role model for her children, you will be an important part of her life forever. Her commitment is now to her new family; therefore, showing respect and consideration to them is your duty as a friend in this new chapter of life.
If God blesses you with a spouse, your friendship will take on even new roles and dimensions as you extend the friendship between the two of you into your growing families.
If you remain a loyal and considerate friend, your friendship will likely continue and, perhaps, become even stronger as long as you value and are respectful of your friend’s marriage.
Source: crosswalk
If a close friend of yours has gotten married, you probably already know that this causes certain changes to take place in your relationship.
Perhaps you used to pop over whenever you wanted but now you have to call to get on the schedule. It seems activities together now must include your friend's husband or he's notified of plans. In many ways, it seems an intruder has entered your friendship. It's as though you have given up your right to an exclusive friendship with your long-time friend because now you must also befriend his/her spouse. Sometimes it seems you can't have one person without the other.
This is a common description of what happens when friends get married. Some of it is good and some is not. It is good that marriage brings two people together as one, but that does not mean that newlyweds alienate their friends. It also does not mean his wife must be with him at all the football games with the guys. As with most things in life, a balance does exist.
Here are my suggestions and insights for relationships with friends who have gotten married.
During the early days, give your friend time alone with his/her spouse. It might be difficult, but it will be best for them because they need time to develop the oneness spoken of in the Bible. (“And the two shall become one flesh …” Genesis 2:24 and Mark 10:8). They need a period of isolation for them to develop an identity as a couple. They will appreciate your respect for their privacy.
When the time is right, invite your friend and his wife (or her husband) to a movie, dinner or other activity. You will know the time is probably right not just when the two of them return from their honeymoon, but when they are once again participating in normal activities like going to work and church.
It is very important you involve the spouse because most newlyweds go through a period when one or both are insecure in their relationship. This is somewhat normal in the early stages of a marriage because of the seriousness of the commitment and the realization of the vows they have made to each other. The results are often feelings of vulnerability and jealousy.
When you involve the spouse, you are telling him/her that you are not a threat, but a friend. Likely, when the couple feels more secure, you will once again have some time alone with your friend without objection or insecurity from the spouse. It is, however, very important not to rush this.
Understand that you have not lost your friend, but that the conditions of your friendship have changed. The relationship between a husband and wife should be the most intimate and important relationship experienced by human beings. It takes precedence over friendships and even other family members. That is how God instituted marriage and all should respect that fact.
Though second place may not sound fair or encouraging, understand that your friend has not replaced you. Depending on the intensity of your friendship, your friend will likely never replace you, though her commitments and responsibilities have changed.
Preserving Your Friendship
Perhaps the best way to keep a friendship strong after one of you marries is to be the best friend you can be at that stage in life.
As time goes on, your friend could have children. If you are there to baby-sit or be a good role model for her children, you will be an important part of her life forever. Her commitment is now to her new family; therefore, showing respect and consideration to them is your duty as a friend in this new chapter of life.
If God blesses you with a spouse, your friendship will take on even new roles and dimensions as you extend the friendship between the two of you into your growing families.
If you remain a loyal and considerate friend, your friendship will likely continue and, perhaps, become even stronger as long as you value and are respectful of your friend’s marriage.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Will We Ever Get What We Want?
Apparently... not...
At least not exactly like the way we want it...
Lately I've been thinking about few things... about my wishes and the reality... Then I tried to position myself as somebody else I know, well actually few of my friends.... It reminded me that almost all of them, yea... including me, are not getting what we want or wish... Reality doesn't go in line with our thoughts (and hopes) about how things should be...
in our family
in our relationships
in our job
in our financial condition
...in almost everything you can mention!
But as one of my friend said, "There's a way for everything..."
That's true... in Him, there's a way for every problem... for every trouble... for every struggle...
But the point is... by contemplating about this matter, I came to realize that we can't deny the fact that He is really God, The One and Only God of everything... He is God of our life, He created and had plans upon every life, every single person... We just have to remember that our life isn't about our agenda, but about His agenda. It isn't about our timeline, but about His timeline... not about what we want, but about what He wants... because we are His creations.
...even though what we want is a good thing, but if it isn't His plan upon us, then it's just our plan for ourselves... It's just that simple actually...
So, if we call Him "God", if we admit that He is our Heavenly Father, is it reasonable if we asked Him, "Why don't we get what we want???" or "Why don't we get what we want the way we want it???"
At least not exactly like the way we want it...
Lately I've been thinking about few things... about my wishes and the reality... Then I tried to position myself as somebody else I know, well actually few of my friends.... It reminded me that almost all of them, yea... including me, are not getting what we want or wish... Reality doesn't go in line with our thoughts (and hopes) about how things should be...
in our family
in our relationships
in our job
in our financial condition
...in almost everything you can mention!
But as one of my friend said, "There's a way for everything..."
That's true... in Him, there's a way for every problem... for every trouble... for every struggle...
But the point is... by contemplating about this matter, I came to realize that we can't deny the fact that He is really God, The One and Only God of everything... He is God of our life, He created and had plans upon every life, every single person... We just have to remember that our life isn't about our agenda, but about His agenda. It isn't about our timeline, but about His timeline... not about what we want, but about what He wants... because we are His creations.
...even though what we want is a good thing, but if it isn't His plan upon us, then it's just our plan for ourselves... It's just that simple actually...
So, if we call Him "God", if we admit that He is our Heavenly Father, is it reasonable if we asked Him, "Why don't we get what we want???" or "Why don't we get what we want the way we want it???"
Monday, January 5, 2009
Isn't It About Time You Got Married?
(by Wendy Widder)
I've got a few unanswered questions about my life. I'd like to know if I'll ever be a homemaker and homeowner. I'd like to know how to sell and buy, as well as manage maintenance on, a car as a single woman. I'd like to know if I'll ever walk down the aisle as the main attraction instead of as a member of the supporting cast. I've discovered, though, that I rarely have to ask questions like this. There are plenty of other people in my life asking them for me.
At a church event one evening, I was serving punch, stocking cookie trays, and cleaning up messes, when a mere acquaintance asked one. Punch ladle in hand, attention focused on stirring pink sherbet, I heard his voice. "So, isn't it about time you got married?" Glancing left and right with the desperate hope that he was speaking to anyone else, I slowly looked up. Nope, I was the lucky target, and he hit the bull's-eye.
"Isn't it about time you got married?" He voiced one of those questions that lurks in the heart of every single adult who desires to be married. It resides next to half a dozen others we've been asked over the years--questions for which we either don't have the answers or don't like the answers:
* Do you have a boyfriend?
* You're a nice girl; why aren't you dating anyone?
* How's your love life? [Would you dare ask a married person this?!]
* Are you looking for a husband?
* So, you're still single?
* Do you want to get married?
If you are single, you've fielded most of these and countless other remarks for which any answer seems inadequate. You've probably mastered the courtesy laugh and polite smile, and chances are you're an expert at shifting conversations away from your marital status.
While I laugh at both well-meaning friends and rude acquaintances for asking such bold things, they are really only voicing questions I have in my own head. I just don't ask them because I know there aren't answers.
If I'll marry, who I'll marry, when I'll marry, are some of God's question marks in my life, unknown obstacles in my race. That's the way God planned it. After wrestling repeatedly with these and other questions about singleness, I've resigned myself to the fact that God is the only One who knows the answers, and He's not telling. Most days I can live with that. Not everybody in my life has struggled through these issues, though, and so for them, I sometimes just don't fit into a preconceived mold.
One of my sisters is an expert puzzler. She holds the box in one hand and stirs through it with the other, looking for certain pieces. When she strikes, she's rarely wrong. Her practiced eye knows where pieces fit without even trying them. I love puzzles, too, and while I learned much of my skill from watching my sister, I can't compete with her prowess. I have a knack for picking a piece that looks like it should fit, but no matter how many times I try, it doesn't. I turn it and try again. Nope. I set it down in the corner of the board and when I come back to it, I think all over again that it must fit in that place. Like a dull-witted dog chasing parked cars, I keep putting the same right piece in the same wrong place. It makes no sense to me--how a piece with the right coloring and the right shape just doesn't fit.
To married friends and relatives, singles are sometimes those puzzle pieces. It looks to them as if we should fit in a certain place. In attempts to make us fit, they often ask bold questions. At times they answer their own questions when our responses fall short of what they hoped to hear:
* God has someone very special for you.
* You just wait--your day is coming.
* You'll make somebody a perfect wife.
* He just doesn't know what he's missing.
* You never know who you'll meet.
* I hope you meet someone special; I really want you to be happy.
Begging the forgiveness of my friends and family, I don't have nearly as many problems with the unanswered questions in my life as I do with their answers! I wholeheartedly recognize their good intentions. They never mean to be invasive or rude; they really want only the best for me. I love them for it, and I've learned to laugh at them for it, too.
Like I said, most days I can live with God's absence of answers. But sometimes, I allow myself to listen to the well-meaning advice of bystanders, and I choose to hear their answers above the silence of God. When I filter their pieces of intended encouragement through my emotional sieve, I want to believe them. I want to take their statements as divine wisdom.
Maybe time will prove their words correct in my life, but I can't afford to live with that expectation. If I do, chances are good I will park myself on the side of the road or hoist a heavy bag over my shoulder and squander this leg of the race.
Source: Crosswalk
I've got a few unanswered questions about my life. I'd like to know if I'll ever be a homemaker and homeowner. I'd like to know how to sell and buy, as well as manage maintenance on, a car as a single woman. I'd like to know if I'll ever walk down the aisle as the main attraction instead of as a member of the supporting cast. I've discovered, though, that I rarely have to ask questions like this. There are plenty of other people in my life asking them for me.
At a church event one evening, I was serving punch, stocking cookie trays, and cleaning up messes, when a mere acquaintance asked one. Punch ladle in hand, attention focused on stirring pink sherbet, I heard his voice. "So, isn't it about time you got married?" Glancing left and right with the desperate hope that he was speaking to anyone else, I slowly looked up. Nope, I was the lucky target, and he hit the bull's-eye.
"Isn't it about time you got married?" He voiced one of those questions that lurks in the heart of every single adult who desires to be married. It resides next to half a dozen others we've been asked over the years--questions for which we either don't have the answers or don't like the answers:
* Do you have a boyfriend?
* You're a nice girl; why aren't you dating anyone?
* How's your love life? [Would you dare ask a married person this?!]
* Are you looking for a husband?
* So, you're still single?
* Do you want to get married?
If you are single, you've fielded most of these and countless other remarks for which any answer seems inadequate. You've probably mastered the courtesy laugh and polite smile, and chances are you're an expert at shifting conversations away from your marital status.
While I laugh at both well-meaning friends and rude acquaintances for asking such bold things, they are really only voicing questions I have in my own head. I just don't ask them because I know there aren't answers.
If I'll marry, who I'll marry, when I'll marry, are some of God's question marks in my life, unknown obstacles in my race. That's the way God planned it. After wrestling repeatedly with these and other questions about singleness, I've resigned myself to the fact that God is the only One who knows the answers, and He's not telling. Most days I can live with that. Not everybody in my life has struggled through these issues, though, and so for them, I sometimes just don't fit into a preconceived mold.
One of my sisters is an expert puzzler. She holds the box in one hand and stirs through it with the other, looking for certain pieces. When she strikes, she's rarely wrong. Her practiced eye knows where pieces fit without even trying them. I love puzzles, too, and while I learned much of my skill from watching my sister, I can't compete with her prowess. I have a knack for picking a piece that looks like it should fit, but no matter how many times I try, it doesn't. I turn it and try again. Nope. I set it down in the corner of the board and when I come back to it, I think all over again that it must fit in that place. Like a dull-witted dog chasing parked cars, I keep putting the same right piece in the same wrong place. It makes no sense to me--how a piece with the right coloring and the right shape just doesn't fit.
To married friends and relatives, singles are sometimes those puzzle pieces. It looks to them as if we should fit in a certain place. In attempts to make us fit, they often ask bold questions. At times they answer their own questions when our responses fall short of what they hoped to hear:
* God has someone very special for you.
* You just wait--your day is coming.
* You'll make somebody a perfect wife.
* He just doesn't know what he's missing.
* You never know who you'll meet.
* I hope you meet someone special; I really want you to be happy.
Begging the forgiveness of my friends and family, I don't have nearly as many problems with the unanswered questions in my life as I do with their answers! I wholeheartedly recognize their good intentions. They never mean to be invasive or rude; they really want only the best for me. I love them for it, and I've learned to laugh at them for it, too.
Like I said, most days I can live with God's absence of answers. But sometimes, I allow myself to listen to the well-meaning advice of bystanders, and I choose to hear their answers above the silence of God. When I filter their pieces of intended encouragement through my emotional sieve, I want to believe them. I want to take their statements as divine wisdom.
Maybe time will prove their words correct in my life, but I can't afford to live with that expectation. If I do, chances are good I will park myself on the side of the road or hoist a heavy bag over my shoulder and squander this leg of the race.
Source: Crosswalk
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