(by Hudson Russell Davis)
“He did not seek to drown grief in oblivion, but to exalt and dignify it through hope. A dry eye goes with a dead soul.”
— Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
The hope is that in considering contentment and satisfaction we might be able to own our sorrow and longing and that they might lose some of their venom.
The hope is that in confessing the truth of our need to one another we can walk in freedom and not fear that the entire world has passed us by or is judging us.
It has become important to me because of the many voices that cast judging eyes my way if I speak of my need. “Surely,” they say, “you need to be content before God will bless you.” I bristle at the words but hold my tongue.
No matter what those voices may, say contentment is not the absence or denial of need. No! Contentment is the confidence that all things are being worked together for we who love God (Rom 8:28). Contentment is the confidence, the childlike zealous, loving, confidence that He cares (1Pet. 5:7). A contentment that ignores the hunger, that pretends there is no want is self-delusion—this requires no faith at all. It requires a waking dream that presents all things as completed and fulfilled.
But we are told clearly that there is more to come. Much of what is to come is promised at the end of all things, but here and now our souls know the craving and for me one of those cravings is a relationship. I am content but not satisfied.
I am content in my singleness because I am certain that God has not abandoned me, has not forgotten me, that He loves me. But I am not satisfied because, despite the Love of God and the love of friends, despite the blessings I cannot list, there is an ache and longing that is unfulfilled. I am content but not satisfied.
It seems to me that when some speak of contentment in the area of singleness they often mean satisfied or resigned in the manner that does not disturb the sensitivities of those who are married. So the well meaning counselors issue well meaning statements.
“Your singleness is a blessing.”
What then, is marriage not a blessing?
“You have so many more opportunities to serve God.”
Are there no opportunities to serve within marriage?
“Marriage is hard.”
And singleness is easy?
“Just be content.”
Here it is often better that I hold my tongue before those who themselves complain about their spouse, children, and “responsibilities.” Yes, let us just be content. Let us wake up and wrap it about us, or paint it on before we leave the house so that no one is disturbed to know that the body of Christ actually hurts. Let us take the pill of forgetfulness and shod our feet with pretence. That will make it all better. This is the cynic in me.
The expectation seems to be that singles simply grin and bear it, that they accept their state and rejoice in it—and we should. Sometimes it seems as though those well meaning counselors desire that singles refrain from anything that suggests all is not well. But the deeper truth is that all is not well while Christ tarries. The world is not right and our hunger, our longing, is a part of what will be righted—later. So I am content to wait on Christ and will not act in the rashness of my desires—but I am not satisfied.
It is by no means proper to live by pretence and contentment does not demand a false smile and deluded conscience. No! What Paul teaches in Philippians is neither that all is well with the world nor that it is more spiritual to be in need. What Paul teaches is that one can be content even in the midst of need, even in the midst of longing. We can be content even if we are not satisfied. He said he was not writing because he was in need but he was in need. He was in prison. He was not writing because of his need. He wrote because of his joy and wanted to thank the Philippians for meeting his needs.
To be honest it would be easier to accept the fact that God will never bless me with a wife than to indefinitely nurture hope. It would be easier to resign and be satisfied than to harbor hope and take steps to change things. But, again, as Christians we live with the tension of promises yet unfulfilled. We are both content with all that is in Christ and yet there is a disquieted longing for more. We should ever be content but not satisfied.
* We have an assured future but an uncertain present.
* We have joy in God’s promises but the reality of present pain.
* We have peace through the God’s promises but sorrow is ever present.
* We know God will provide but some are literally starving.
* We are saved but must hunger and thirst after righteousness.
* We are spiritual wealthy but are called to be poor in spirit.
* We are to rejoice but those who mourn are promised comfort.
* We are blessed by God but often persecuted.
* We see God dimly but long for the day we will see Him clearly.
* Some of us…know the love of friends, family, and God but ache and long for a mate.
We are both content and not satisfied, and it’s okay. The mother who lost four children in one day considers them every day. She may wonder what it would be like if were there for Christmas or the family reunion. Every marriage and every birth near her will become a reminder that her sons will never know these pleasures or experience these milestones. And while most singles have not faced a death (though some have) their longing is much the same.
Every marriage and every birth is a reminder that they may never share in those pleasures or experience these milestones. To rejoice with others is still to know a pang of loss as though something had died. And while marriage may bring new problems and not end the deeper longing, it still feels as though year by year a dream is dying a slow death. We need not delude ourselves, marriage will not end the loneliness but it is a particular desire without which we are not satisfied.
It is the fact that I am not satisfied that keeps my eyes skyward, that bends my knees in prayer, that calls me to a deeper trust in the grace of God. I may not be satisfied but I have no fear of starving. I have no fear of TRULY being alone. It is dissatisfaction with my circumstances that presses me to hope for more, to try for more. But it is most certainly contentment in our circumstances and the God who overseas all things that will keep us, the dissatisfied, from despair.
Source: crosswalk
Saturday, August 23, 2008
A Life of Simplicity
(by Nanmarie Woodford)
After searching through job banks in Washington D.C., I began working at a lobbying office full of political analysts and think-tank gurus. I plunged into my career life with zeal.
The commute and the hours were long and it didn’t pay enough, but I thrived on the excitement of politics. I was also beginning to date someone seriously. Between my new job and this new relationship, I definitely had my hands full.
Soon, I was getting less sleep and had no time for lunch or exercise. I lacked energy, but sustained myself at work with lots of coffee.
I thought of moving downtown to free up time, but that would eliminate involvement at my church or with my family, both located nearly 30 miles outside the city. My life was becoming my job, and I didn’t know how to find a balance.
Anxiety from work was building, keeping me up at night and adding to my emotional exhaustion. Yet I just couldn’t see what to change or let go.
One sleepless night, I wept silently. Not understanding myself or why I was crying, I prayed to God for guidance and to show me how to live.
From that prayer ensued a year’s journey into the desert: Arizona.
My boss wanted to start a non-profit organization in Arizona and needed help. One morning, as the sun poured through my window, I prayed to God to tell me if moving to Arizona was the right decision. I only heard what had echoed in my mind for some time: I’ve called you to a life of simplicity.
With conflicting emotions, I took the opportunity and moved to the desert. At first, I doubted God’s ways. Not until three months later did it dawn on me that this move wasn’t about my career, but about God answering my prayer to show me how to live.
It was strange living and working alone in a new town with a five-minute commute when I was used to an hour. I could eat lunch at home. I had time to exercise. And I was now dating long distance. Suddenly, things weren’t so busy anymore, and God and I had ample time to talk.
He showed me that how I was living would lead to more stress, anxiety and busy-ness. To teach me how to live a more simple life, He didn’t stop with just rearranging my exterior life. He was also about to re-design my interior life.
Trust God with the future. This job hadn’t shaped up the way I thought it would. I feared I might be wasting my time and even worse, missing rewarding opportunities back home. I was trying so hard to plan today for what might lay ahead in the future. But the truth was, only God knew. God lives outside of time, knowing past, present, and future. Furthermore, Jeremiah 29:11 says He has plans to prosper me, to give me hope and a future. So I gave Him permission to have His way with my career even though I didn’t see His reasons.
Live from day to day. Not having the burden of planning my future freed up a lot of thought time. I could concentrate on God’s desires for the present moment. God says that each day has enough trouble of its own anyway (Matthew 6:34). Instead of praying about future events, I pondered the meaning of the Lord’s prayer to “Give me this day my daily bread.”
Do not worry about tomorrow. God didn’t want me worrying about the future of my long-distance relationship either. Matthew 6:34 also says, Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Worrying is a distraction. Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life (Matthew 6:27)?
Be consumed with God. Instead of planning and worrying, I now had time to daydream about God—to let Him and His ways consume my thought-life. He said, “Fall into me. Let me hold you. Let me and my beauty and my greatness take you away from the worries of the day.” When I am consumed with God, I do not miss His guiding words.
Sell all you have. Jesus told the rich man who wanted to follow him that he must sell everything he had. But when the rich man heard this, he became very sad because he was a man of great wealth (Luke 18:23). His wealth held him back from becoming a true disciple. Dreams close to my heart--a fulfilling job or getting married--were like possessions keeping me from following God. These “possessions” would only complicate my life. I gave them to God, and I determined to seek first His kingdom (Matthew 6:33).
God had to send me to the desert to teach me how to live. Now I am back in the city I love, but I am freer - carrying fewer burdens - in short, living simpler, and living for God!
Source: christian women today
After searching through job banks in Washington D.C., I began working at a lobbying office full of political analysts and think-tank gurus. I plunged into my career life with zeal.
The commute and the hours were long and it didn’t pay enough, but I thrived on the excitement of politics. I was also beginning to date someone seriously. Between my new job and this new relationship, I definitely had my hands full.
Soon, I was getting less sleep and had no time for lunch or exercise. I lacked energy, but sustained myself at work with lots of coffee.
I thought of moving downtown to free up time, but that would eliminate involvement at my church or with my family, both located nearly 30 miles outside the city. My life was becoming my job, and I didn’t know how to find a balance.
Anxiety from work was building, keeping me up at night and adding to my emotional exhaustion. Yet I just couldn’t see what to change or let go.
One sleepless night, I wept silently. Not understanding myself or why I was crying, I prayed to God for guidance and to show me how to live.
From that prayer ensued a year’s journey into the desert: Arizona.
My boss wanted to start a non-profit organization in Arizona and needed help. One morning, as the sun poured through my window, I prayed to God to tell me if moving to Arizona was the right decision. I only heard what had echoed in my mind for some time: I’ve called you to a life of simplicity.
With conflicting emotions, I took the opportunity and moved to the desert. At first, I doubted God’s ways. Not until three months later did it dawn on me that this move wasn’t about my career, but about God answering my prayer to show me how to live.
It was strange living and working alone in a new town with a five-minute commute when I was used to an hour. I could eat lunch at home. I had time to exercise. And I was now dating long distance. Suddenly, things weren’t so busy anymore, and God and I had ample time to talk.
He showed me that how I was living would lead to more stress, anxiety and busy-ness. To teach me how to live a more simple life, He didn’t stop with just rearranging my exterior life. He was also about to re-design my interior life.
Trust God with the future. This job hadn’t shaped up the way I thought it would. I feared I might be wasting my time and even worse, missing rewarding opportunities back home. I was trying so hard to plan today for what might lay ahead in the future. But the truth was, only God knew. God lives outside of time, knowing past, present, and future. Furthermore, Jeremiah 29:11 says He has plans to prosper me, to give me hope and a future. So I gave Him permission to have His way with my career even though I didn’t see His reasons.
Live from day to day. Not having the burden of planning my future freed up a lot of thought time. I could concentrate on God’s desires for the present moment. God says that each day has enough trouble of its own anyway (Matthew 6:34). Instead of praying about future events, I pondered the meaning of the Lord’s prayer to “Give me this day my daily bread.”
Do not worry about tomorrow. God didn’t want me worrying about the future of my long-distance relationship either. Matthew 6:34 also says, Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Worrying is a distraction. Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life (Matthew 6:27)?
Be consumed with God. Instead of planning and worrying, I now had time to daydream about God—to let Him and His ways consume my thought-life. He said, “Fall into me. Let me hold you. Let me and my beauty and my greatness take you away from the worries of the day.” When I am consumed with God, I do not miss His guiding words.
Sell all you have. Jesus told the rich man who wanted to follow him that he must sell everything he had. But when the rich man heard this, he became very sad because he was a man of great wealth (Luke 18:23). His wealth held him back from becoming a true disciple. Dreams close to my heart--a fulfilling job or getting married--were like possessions keeping me from following God. These “possessions” would only complicate my life. I gave them to God, and I determined to seek first His kingdom (Matthew 6:33).
God had to send me to the desert to teach me how to live. Now I am back in the city I love, but I am freer - carrying fewer burdens - in short, living simpler, and living for God!
Source: christian women today
Courage to Feel
(by Barb Erochina)
Recently I watched a friend go through three weeks of migraines, numerous doctor’s visits and a CT scan. Her final diagnosis was stress-induced acute migraines. She had been experiencing major life changes and instead of working through the fear and anxiety that she felt, she repressed her feelings and tried to ignore them. Though for many people migraines are due to other factors, hers were undeniably caused by neglected worries. Her body reacted to the stress and her wellbeing decreased dramatically.
Medical research has long proven that our emotional state has a great impact on our physical body. Stress or repressed emotions are common causes of headaches, ulcers and back and neck problems. Many people who suffer from these do so because they refuse to deal with their feelings. In these cases, feelings have become a greater source of discomfort than health problems. Why would so many of us rather get physically sick than face our emotions head on?
A cultural misconception
Emotions are not held in high esteem in today’s culture. To get called “emotional” is never a compliment. Only a minimal level of feelings is considered appropriate in most situations and often these standards are unrealistic and repressive. Consider how often we are told that men should not cry, even though this is simply not true.
Even children are brought up with an understanding that emotions are useless. The saying “There is no use of crying over spilled milk” is a common colloquialism but ingrains the attitude that an emotional response to a negative occurrence is somehow inappropriate.
In contrast, self-control is held highly as a societal value. We’re taught that to allow oneself to feel something means being controlled by the emotion resulting in a loss of self-control. However, the opposite is true. Avoiding feelings sets us on a rat race where we become driven and controlled by the process of trying to avoid those same feelings. It takes courage to allow ourselves to feel.
Ignoring our emotions can leave us numb and unable to feel anything. Too often, we treat our emotional health as if it is a series of controls on a CD player. There is an assumption that we can control any one emotion separately from the rest in the same way that we can individually alter the bass or treble on our stereos. However, our emotional core functions more as an overall volume control. Reigning in any one emotion means the limiting of all of our emotions. Over time, denying any one emotion such as anger or sadness can reduce our ability to experience every other emotion including as joy and contentment.
Reasons to feel
We must stop being afraid of our feelings, and instead learn to use them for all of their benefits.
Feelings live where dreams are born and it is these dreams that fuel passion. When we work up the courage to face our feelings, including those of fear or sadness, dreams can emerge that will actually help us work through the feelings and get past them.
Our feelings act as a thermometer to judge whether the environment we are in is healthy for us. Knowing what we’re feeling allows for good self-care. If we are in a situation that is nerve-wrecking but we do not want to face that it makes us anxious, it is likely that the tension will only escalate. However, if we can accept that the situation makes us uncomfortable, we are then free to see how it can be altered or what questions must be resolved in order for the anxiety to diminish.
Feelings can serve as a great resource of guidance. They allow for self- awareness that speaks to us of long forgotten desires, dreams and ambitions. Change is a common trigger that causes people to run from feeling their emotions, especially during times of big decisions, life transitions or tragedy. Because these times are filled with uncertainty, it is good to be aware of how we are feeling about the circumstances set before us. The process of working through your emotions taps into the part of you that seeks and knows truth.
Feelings can grow our sense of self- worth. When we take the time to deal with our feelings, we are being intentional in saying “I matter!”
Once we can understand all the ways in which our feelings are good and purposeful, we can begin to stop being afraid of them. We have feelings because we were created with them. Our emotional makeup reflects God’s nature.
God created us to be holistic human beings, not one-dimensional robots who go about accomplishing one task or another. Our satisfaction and well-being are affected immensely by our emotional well-being because the emotional part of us rests at the core of how we are wired. It determines how we respond to others, as well as to the situations we find ourselves in.
We can see our emotional core reflected in God himself when we look at Christ. Jesus was both fully God and fully human. This means he was perfect but was also not afraid to feel. He wept for Jerusalem and Lazarus, angered at the disrespectful treatment of God’s temple and was overjoyed at the sight of children desiring to play with him.
God gave us our emotions, and therefore accepts us with them. He desires us to come to Him just as we are, without putting up any sort of well-composed front. God is the only one who accepts us truly as we are, without requiring anything else of us than just to be in relationship with him.
It is here that Jesus’ death was a necessary sacrifice on God’s behalf. We as broken and sinful human beings cannot be reconciled to God unless the sin that separates from Him is moved out of the way. Jesus, God’s son, both lived and sacrificed his perfect life on our behalf to take away our sin. All that is left up to us is to acknowledge that it is Christ’s gift that allows us to come to God, and to ask God to take the lead in our lives.
Source: christian women today
Recently I watched a friend go through three weeks of migraines, numerous doctor’s visits and a CT scan. Her final diagnosis was stress-induced acute migraines. She had been experiencing major life changes and instead of working through the fear and anxiety that she felt, she repressed her feelings and tried to ignore them. Though for many people migraines are due to other factors, hers were undeniably caused by neglected worries. Her body reacted to the stress and her wellbeing decreased dramatically.
Medical research has long proven that our emotional state has a great impact on our physical body. Stress or repressed emotions are common causes of headaches, ulcers and back and neck problems. Many people who suffer from these do so because they refuse to deal with their feelings. In these cases, feelings have become a greater source of discomfort than health problems. Why would so many of us rather get physically sick than face our emotions head on?
A cultural misconception
Emotions are not held in high esteem in today’s culture. To get called “emotional” is never a compliment. Only a minimal level of feelings is considered appropriate in most situations and often these standards are unrealistic and repressive. Consider how often we are told that men should not cry, even though this is simply not true.
Even children are brought up with an understanding that emotions are useless. The saying “There is no use of crying over spilled milk” is a common colloquialism but ingrains the attitude that an emotional response to a negative occurrence is somehow inappropriate.
In contrast, self-control is held highly as a societal value. We’re taught that to allow oneself to feel something means being controlled by the emotion resulting in a loss of self-control. However, the opposite is true. Avoiding feelings sets us on a rat race where we become driven and controlled by the process of trying to avoid those same feelings. It takes courage to allow ourselves to feel.
Ignoring our emotions can leave us numb and unable to feel anything. Too often, we treat our emotional health as if it is a series of controls on a CD player. There is an assumption that we can control any one emotion separately from the rest in the same way that we can individually alter the bass or treble on our stereos. However, our emotional core functions more as an overall volume control. Reigning in any one emotion means the limiting of all of our emotions. Over time, denying any one emotion such as anger or sadness can reduce our ability to experience every other emotion including as joy and contentment.
Reasons to feel
We must stop being afraid of our feelings, and instead learn to use them for all of their benefits.
Feelings live where dreams are born and it is these dreams that fuel passion. When we work up the courage to face our feelings, including those of fear or sadness, dreams can emerge that will actually help us work through the feelings and get past them.
Our feelings act as a thermometer to judge whether the environment we are in is healthy for us. Knowing what we’re feeling allows for good self-care. If we are in a situation that is nerve-wrecking but we do not want to face that it makes us anxious, it is likely that the tension will only escalate. However, if we can accept that the situation makes us uncomfortable, we are then free to see how it can be altered or what questions must be resolved in order for the anxiety to diminish.
Feelings can serve as a great resource of guidance. They allow for self- awareness that speaks to us of long forgotten desires, dreams and ambitions. Change is a common trigger that causes people to run from feeling their emotions, especially during times of big decisions, life transitions or tragedy. Because these times are filled with uncertainty, it is good to be aware of how we are feeling about the circumstances set before us. The process of working through your emotions taps into the part of you that seeks and knows truth.
Feelings can grow our sense of self- worth. When we take the time to deal with our feelings, we are being intentional in saying “I matter!”
Once we can understand all the ways in which our feelings are good and purposeful, we can begin to stop being afraid of them. We have feelings because we were created with them. Our emotional makeup reflects God’s nature.
God created us to be holistic human beings, not one-dimensional robots who go about accomplishing one task or another. Our satisfaction and well-being are affected immensely by our emotional well-being because the emotional part of us rests at the core of how we are wired. It determines how we respond to others, as well as to the situations we find ourselves in.
We can see our emotional core reflected in God himself when we look at Christ. Jesus was both fully God and fully human. This means he was perfect but was also not afraid to feel. He wept for Jerusalem and Lazarus, angered at the disrespectful treatment of God’s temple and was overjoyed at the sight of children desiring to play with him.
God gave us our emotions, and therefore accepts us with them. He desires us to come to Him just as we are, without putting up any sort of well-composed front. God is the only one who accepts us truly as we are, without requiring anything else of us than just to be in relationship with him.
It is here that Jesus’ death was a necessary sacrifice on God’s behalf. We as broken and sinful human beings cannot be reconciled to God unless the sin that separates from Him is moved out of the way. Jesus, God’s son, both lived and sacrificed his perfect life on our behalf to take away our sin. All that is left up to us is to acknowledge that it is Christ’s gift that allows us to come to God, and to ask God to take the lead in our lives.
Source: christian women today
Friday, August 15, 2008
Craving Egypt
(by Brenna Simonds)
"It's days like today, God, where I really question your goodness — when I really wonder if You truly know what You're doing," I said out loud.
I had recently quit my job because of chronic illness, and within a week, my husband found out his company was closing down. For months, I'd been struggling to get reimbursed for a bill that I had been overcharged on by a significant sum of money. Obviously, that money would have been really helpful with us both out of work. My health issues were escalating, and it seemed as if, at every turn, I encountered obstacle after obstacle, trial after trial, pain upon pain.
I found myself beginning to question whether God really is who He says He is, wondering whether He was really going to provide and come through, as He had for so many others as written in the pages of the Bible. Maybe I was allowing sin in my life and therefore He couldn't hear my prayers. Maybe He had already sent the answer and I just hadn't recognized it. Maybe my small (in comparison) problems were too petty for Him to waste His time on.
Or maybe, like Moses and the Israelites, I had lessons to learn that I couldn't possibly see while still in the midst of my questions and confusion.
Moses had grown up, watching the Israelites and seeing their hard labor in slavery to Egypt. He felt their pain and had compassion for them. So did God:
The Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out, and their cry for help because of their slavery went up to God. God heard their groaning and he remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob. So God looked on the Israelites and was concerned about them.
And so God called Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and out of slavery:
The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey.... So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."
Quite a calling! But Moses was obedient. It took a long time (possibly 20 years), but the Pharaoh of Egypt finally let the Israelites, who had been enslaved by the Egyptians for over 400 years, go. They set out with Moses, trudging across the desert, dreaming of the freedom that was finally theirs. The freedom they were searching for was not only freedom from slavery, but also freedom to truly worship their God, the God of the Israelites.
Their positive thoughts didn't last long, though. After only a month and a half of traveling, the Israelites started to complain:
If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.
After only a month and a half in the desert, they were already complaining to the point of wishing they were dead! And as the Israelites continued to move toward the Promised Land, they kept looking back to Egypt with longing, wishing they had never left. The Israelites knew what Egypt had to offer them. They knew that if they went back to Egypt, they would once again be enslaved, but at least that was familiar, predictable, and even strangely comfortable in comparison to the unknown they were facing in the desert. Was God really carrying them to the Promised Land?
One day, as I was listening to some music by CCM artist Sara Groves, the lyrics of this song really struck me.
I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
and I want to go back
How often I have found myself in this position, looking back longingly at things I've left behind. How quick I am at times to forget all God has done for me, and how He delivered me from slavery — slavery to sin.
How had I so quickly descended from celebration for all God had done and for where He has promised to lead me into moaning and groaning about what it was taking to get there? God had heard my cry and delivered me from slavery — not just to my sinful nature, but also to various addictions and behaviors to which I had once been enslaved. But then gradually, as things didn't seem to go my way and God wasn't working according to my plan and my timing, I started looking back to my old ways, my old idols and ways of thinking.
Thankfully, I'd come too far to go back to most of those things, but it didn't stop me from meditating on and even romanticizing them.
Just as God had to continually remind the Israelites of what He'd done for them and what He was going to do for them, I need to continually remind myself of the truth of who He is. I need to remind myself that my circumstances, or at least how I see things with my limited perspective, don't define God's character; His Word does.
Author David Kyle Foster implores us, "Make a conscious effort, that when things go wrong, to assume the best about God rather than the worst." When I was struggling with so many questions about God, I remember saying, "God, You could fix this if You really wanted to — so why aren't You?" God wasn't coming through for me as quickly as I wanted Him to.
The truth of the matter is that God is not a vending machine. Often we view God this way, as if we should be able to put in our token prayer or request, and in a timely manner an answer should show up on our doorstep. Sometimes it does happen that quickly and to our satisfaction. And some of the time, the answer we get from God is silence. Instead of riding in like a knight in shining armor, He tells us to keep on asking, and asks us to wait in expectation for His answer. Other times, we're so focused on receiving a specific answer that when the answer comes in a different manner than what we're expecting we miss God's response completely.
The Israelites had God with them day and night, yet they didn't see Him for the Rescuer that He is. And so they looked back to Egypt, showing that their hearts were really still there.
The past is so tangible; I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom but now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise and the things I know
The past is so predictable, the patterns so easy to fall back into. I was recently talking with a friend who was sharing how she's so used to walking through one pain and trial after another that she's afraid to be happy. Often when we grow up in the midst of chaos, the feelings that chaos brings are so much more comfortable than the feelings that accompany security, peace and joy. As I've looked back over my past, I've realized that at times I was actually causing chaos in my life through the choices I made because the pain that came with chaos was familiar; with chaos, I knew what to expect. Peace and joy were uncharted and frightening territory.
So as I began to really want something different for my life, as I started to truly desire to leave the chaos behind, I had to become comfortable with happiness and be careful not to purposely cause any more chaos in my life.
It's not about losing faith
It's not about trust
It's all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn't perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this
Maybe that's what was happening with the Israelites. It's easy for us to look at them and judge them: "If I had God showing up in a cloud and a pillar of fire to guide me, I sure wouldn't doubt Him like they did." But can you really say that? All they had known was slavery, and over 400 years of it. Maybe in the beginning, the Israelites passed down stories of a heroic God who would soon come and save the day, but I imagine as the decades, even centuries, went by — if those stories were even being passed to the new generations at all — they probably seemed more like mythical legends than solid truth. Maybe in the desert, the Israelites were hesitantly waiting for God to prove to them that He really was going to come through.
During this trying time in my life — my job gone, health issues escalating, and so on — I had fallen into the very trap that the Israelites fell into. I was looking back longingly at my old life. I even found myself questioning whether my life was really any better since I had come to know God.
In that moment, I had lost sight of all the miracles He had done in my life — how He had delivered me from same-sex attraction and an eating disorder, how He had helped me overcome a struggle with self-injury, how, most of the time, I had a peace and a joy like I had never known before. I couldn't see any of those things. All I could see, in that moment, were my current circumstances. All I knew was that it felt like God was not coming through.
Thankfully, I didn't stay in that moment. As I began to come to the other side of my pain, confusion and frustration, I was able to put aside how I felt and see the reality of my situation and how God really was at work; how He was continuing to rescue me from the trials I was going through.
I now have things in place in my life — journals, e-mails, letters, etc. — things that when I encounter a new trial and question God's character, I can look back at these things and easily see God's provision.
We need that. We need to continually remind ourselves of how God has come through for us in the past — that He has always been faithful, and He will continue to be faithful. Like Joshua and the Israelites, having crossed the Jordan River, set up 12 stones as a reminder of God's faithfulness to them, we too need our own "memorial stones": reminders of who God is and how He always comes through — in His timing and His way, but always.
"It's days like today, God, where I really question your goodness — when I really wonder if You truly know what You're doing," I said out loud.
I had recently quit my job because of chronic illness, and within a week, my husband found out his company was closing down. For months, I'd been struggling to get reimbursed for a bill that I had been overcharged on by a significant sum of money. Obviously, that money would have been really helpful with us both out of work. My health issues were escalating, and it seemed as if, at every turn, I encountered obstacle after obstacle, trial after trial, pain upon pain.
I found myself beginning to question whether God really is who He says He is, wondering whether He was really going to provide and come through, as He had for so many others as written in the pages of the Bible. Maybe I was allowing sin in my life and therefore He couldn't hear my prayers. Maybe He had already sent the answer and I just hadn't recognized it. Maybe my small (in comparison) problems were too petty for Him to waste His time on.
Or maybe, like Moses and the Israelites, I had lessons to learn that I couldn't possibly see while still in the midst of my questions and confusion.
Moses had grown up, watching the Israelites and seeing their hard labor in slavery to Egypt. He felt their pain and had compassion for them. So did God:
The Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out, and their cry for help because of their slavery went up to God. God heard their groaning and he remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob. So God looked on the Israelites and was concerned about them.
And so God called Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and out of slavery:
The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey.... So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."
Quite a calling! But Moses was obedient. It took a long time (possibly 20 years), but the Pharaoh of Egypt finally let the Israelites, who had been enslaved by the Egyptians for over 400 years, go. They set out with Moses, trudging across the desert, dreaming of the freedom that was finally theirs. The freedom they were searching for was not only freedom from slavery, but also freedom to truly worship their God, the God of the Israelites.
Their positive thoughts didn't last long, though. After only a month and a half of traveling, the Israelites started to complain:
If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.
After only a month and a half in the desert, they were already complaining to the point of wishing they were dead! And as the Israelites continued to move toward the Promised Land, they kept looking back to Egypt with longing, wishing they had never left. The Israelites knew what Egypt had to offer them. They knew that if they went back to Egypt, they would once again be enslaved, but at least that was familiar, predictable, and even strangely comfortable in comparison to the unknown they were facing in the desert. Was God really carrying them to the Promised Land?
One day, as I was listening to some music by CCM artist Sara Groves, the lyrics of this song really struck me.
I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
and I want to go back
How often I have found myself in this position, looking back longingly at things I've left behind. How quick I am at times to forget all God has done for me, and how He delivered me from slavery — slavery to sin.
How had I so quickly descended from celebration for all God had done and for where He has promised to lead me into moaning and groaning about what it was taking to get there? God had heard my cry and delivered me from slavery — not just to my sinful nature, but also to various addictions and behaviors to which I had once been enslaved. But then gradually, as things didn't seem to go my way and God wasn't working according to my plan and my timing, I started looking back to my old ways, my old idols and ways of thinking.
Thankfully, I'd come too far to go back to most of those things, but it didn't stop me from meditating on and even romanticizing them.
Just as God had to continually remind the Israelites of what He'd done for them and what He was going to do for them, I need to continually remind myself of the truth of who He is. I need to remind myself that my circumstances, or at least how I see things with my limited perspective, don't define God's character; His Word does.
Author David Kyle Foster implores us, "Make a conscious effort, that when things go wrong, to assume the best about God rather than the worst." When I was struggling with so many questions about God, I remember saying, "God, You could fix this if You really wanted to — so why aren't You?" God wasn't coming through for me as quickly as I wanted Him to.
The truth of the matter is that God is not a vending machine. Often we view God this way, as if we should be able to put in our token prayer or request, and in a timely manner an answer should show up on our doorstep. Sometimes it does happen that quickly and to our satisfaction. And some of the time, the answer we get from God is silence. Instead of riding in like a knight in shining armor, He tells us to keep on asking, and asks us to wait in expectation for His answer. Other times, we're so focused on receiving a specific answer that when the answer comes in a different manner than what we're expecting we miss God's response completely.
The Israelites had God with them day and night, yet they didn't see Him for the Rescuer that He is. And so they looked back to Egypt, showing that their hearts were really still there.
The past is so tangible; I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom but now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise and the things I know
The past is so predictable, the patterns so easy to fall back into. I was recently talking with a friend who was sharing how she's so used to walking through one pain and trial after another that she's afraid to be happy. Often when we grow up in the midst of chaos, the feelings that chaos brings are so much more comfortable than the feelings that accompany security, peace and joy. As I've looked back over my past, I've realized that at times I was actually causing chaos in my life through the choices I made because the pain that came with chaos was familiar; with chaos, I knew what to expect. Peace and joy were uncharted and frightening territory.
So as I began to really want something different for my life, as I started to truly desire to leave the chaos behind, I had to become comfortable with happiness and be careful not to purposely cause any more chaos in my life.
It's not about losing faith
It's not about trust
It's all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn't perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this
Maybe that's what was happening with the Israelites. It's easy for us to look at them and judge them: "If I had God showing up in a cloud and a pillar of fire to guide me, I sure wouldn't doubt Him like they did." But can you really say that? All they had known was slavery, and over 400 years of it. Maybe in the beginning, the Israelites passed down stories of a heroic God who would soon come and save the day, but I imagine as the decades, even centuries, went by — if those stories were even being passed to the new generations at all — they probably seemed more like mythical legends than solid truth. Maybe in the desert, the Israelites were hesitantly waiting for God to prove to them that He really was going to come through.
During this trying time in my life — my job gone, health issues escalating, and so on — I had fallen into the very trap that the Israelites fell into. I was looking back longingly at my old life. I even found myself questioning whether my life was really any better since I had come to know God.
In that moment, I had lost sight of all the miracles He had done in my life — how He had delivered me from same-sex attraction and an eating disorder, how He had helped me overcome a struggle with self-injury, how, most of the time, I had a peace and a joy like I had never known before. I couldn't see any of those things. All I could see, in that moment, were my current circumstances. All I knew was that it felt like God was not coming through.
Thankfully, I didn't stay in that moment. As I began to come to the other side of my pain, confusion and frustration, I was able to put aside how I felt and see the reality of my situation and how God really was at work; how He was continuing to rescue me from the trials I was going through.
I now have things in place in my life — journals, e-mails, letters, etc. — things that when I encounter a new trial and question God's character, I can look back at these things and easily see God's provision.
We need that. We need to continually remind ourselves of how God has come through for us in the past — that He has always been faithful, and He will continue to be faithful. Like Joshua and the Israelites, having crossed the Jordan River, set up 12 stones as a reminder of God's faithfulness to them, we too need our own "memorial stones": reminders of who God is and how He always comes through — in His timing and His way, but always.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Absent God
(by David Barshinger)
"I had faith until I got to Iraq.... I haven't gotten it back since. Once you get there, you wonder how God could allow anyone to go through that."
Those are the words of an Army specialist after serving two terms in Iraq, a man who weighs honestly his observations of war and faith. How do you reconcile mass bloodshed with a loving God? God seems absent at the very time when His intervention is most needed.
We've all heard this question in one shape or another, and if we're honest with ourselves, most of us have asked the question too. Like the Army specialist, the mass evil we see in our world — such as Hitler's genocidal program, the Darfur crisis, and heartless terrorism aimed at innocent civilians — disturbs us to the core. We cry out, "Where's God? I see no signs of Him anywhere."
If you've asked the question, you're in good company. King David, the man after God's own heart, posed the question too:
Why, O LORD, do you stand afar off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? (Ps 10:1)
Questioning God's presence isn't wrong. It's human.
The Roots of Questioning God's Presence
The feeling that God is absent stems from perceived injustice and fear. Injustice can anger the calmest soul. Who of us doesn't get riled up when someone gives us a biased, unfair evaluation of our job performance, demoting us and then advancing a lazy colleague because he's family?
Global injustice raises even harsher charges of God's absence because it affects such a widespread populace. Reports of 12-year-old girls sold into sex slavery makes our blood boil. People who take advantage of the poor and oppress the powerless spark in us a burning for just recompense.
David described the same injustice in his day:
In arrogance the wicked hotly pursue the poor....
His mouth is filled with cursing and deceit and oppression....
In hiding places he murders the innocent....
He lurks that he may seize the poor....
The helpless are crushed, sink down, and fall by His might. (Ps 10:2, 7–10)
The wicked person believes he has gotten away with his injustice because he thinks "God has hidden His face" and "will never see it" (Ps 10:11). In other words, believing God to be absent, he justifies taking advantage of the weak and powerless. What makes these violent, oppressive actions particularly repulsive is that the wicked man's "ways prosper at all times" (Ps 10:5). Sex slave traders don't expect to ever answer for their crimes; they're just out to make money.
Leading New Testament scholar N. T. Wright argues in his popular book Simply Christian that justice is one of the basic yearnings that define us as humans. Though we contrarily desire justice when we're wronged and beg for mercy when we're guilty, Wright concludes that we nonetheless long for "putting the world to rights"; we hope for a time when injustice will cease. Lacking pervasive justice, we ask, "Why, God, do you hide yourself in this time of trouble?"2
Fear intensifies our questioning of God's absence because we fear that injustice and the accompanying pain will strike me.
On a corporate level, the U.S. is largely fearful of terrorists and increasingly at odds with the rest of the world. And at this national crossroads, our fears seep out in our political process. Many Americans place tremendous hope in presidential candidates. The American people spend hundreds of millions of dollars on their presidential hopefuls because we believe so much hangs in the balance. Fear grips us and we grasp for someone to fix our dilemma. And some panic: "What if my candidate loses? Our nation could plunge into moral, economic and social chaos!"
David knew the intricacy of politics. He waited nearly 20 years to receive the kingship God promised him, fought extensively to secure it, lost it briefly to his son Absalom in a coup, and watched his children fight over it before he died.3 He knew, left to itself, the Israelite kingdom could implode. Fears could become reality then — and the same is true today in the U.S.
But David offered perspective that helps the people of God answer the burning question "Where is the Lord?" in any circumstance. He gave hope in the face of injustice and fear.
Walking by Faith, Not by Might
Psalm 10, from which the above descriptions were taken, is part of an acrostic poem in Hebrew that begins each line with a letter from the Hebrew alphabet. The acrostic begins not in Psalm 10:1, but in Psalm 9. The two chapters are originally intended to be read as a unit.4
In other words, the dreary picture of injustice painted in the first half of Psalm 10 is framed with the portrait of God painted in Psalm 9. Any question of God's absence must wrestle with the full nature of who God is. Psalm 10's first section shows that God in His sovereignty allows the unjust to experience prosperity for a time. Psalm 9 and the rest of Psalm 10 give a fuller picture of God's nature.
God will deal out justice to the oppressors. He will make the wicked perish and will "[blot] out their name forever and ever" (Ps 9:5):
But the Lord sits enthroned forever;
He has established His throne for justice,
and He judges the world with righteousness;
He judges the peoples with uprightness. (Ps 9:7–8)
In a particularly satisfying dealing of justice, the snare the wicked set is turned back on them: "The nations have sunk in the pit that they made; in the net that they hid their own foot has been caught" (Ps 9:15).
God is also "a stronghold for the oppressed" who does not forsake those who seek Him (Ps 9:9–10). He cares for the needy, and "the hope of the poor shall not perish forever." He is a gracious God who grants salvation and listens to the afflicted, a God worthy of praise (9:11–14).
The oppressor believes God won't see his injustice, but David says in contrast, "But you do see" (Ps 10:14), and thus he implores, "Arise, O LORD! Let not man prevail; let the nations be judged before you!" (9:19) And again he says, "Arise, O LORD, O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted" (10:12). David calls not on armies, but on God, who is "king forever and ever" (10:16).
In our world, might matters. But in God's economy, might is shattered. To us, might wins. But to God, might too often sins. It oppresses, murders and steals. But despite what God's Word teaches us about the dangers of power, we continue to place great hope in political and military might, don't we?
We live in the 21st century, which has followed millennia of nations rising and falling. Egypt, Babylon, Assyria, Medo-Persia, Greece, Rome, Spain, France, England, Germany — all nations that have held overarching power in the world at some point in time, but fell from supremacy. The United States is by no means immune to falling either.
The psalmist David describes a transcendent hope that weathers the ups and downs of politics and that promises true justice, not just a cheap imitation disguising a power-hungry opportunist. When we face injustice or fear, our solution as Christians is faith and hope — to believe in the God revealed to us in the Scriptures who is still in control and will one day deliver ultimate justice, and in uncertain circumstances to place our hope in Him. Believing and resting in the God of the Bible when the world's events say God is distant gives us the perspective we need in today's global upheaval.
Christ, Our Living Hope
This doesn't mean we shouldn't engage our world. God doesn't call for apathy and laziness, but for vigilance, action and prayer. That is, in fact, what Psalm 9–10 is: a prayer addressed to Yahweh, the God of Israel. David was clearly a man of action, even war, but also of prayer. His words reveal a faith that rested not in his spear, but in the Creator of the trees that humans shape into spears.
This same God, the Creator of all things, the God of David, revealed Himself centuries later in the person of Jesus Christ. Christ gives us a fuller picture of the God who we charge as absent.
What kind of God could allow anyone to go through the horrors of Iraq — the corruption, treachery, hatred, violence and death? A Christian response recognizes humanity's ultimate culpability (God doesn't force mankind's violent hand), but also points to a God who submitted Himself to all that suffering and more. Jesus Christ the Son of God endured despising and shame, betrayal and unjust execution so that we might have life. He bore the sins of the world, took our penalty, and died. He rose to conquer decay, and He lives to set the world to rights and to set all fears to rest forever. We hope in this God, in Jesus Christ, the God who reveals Himself as present and active in our fallen world.
No matter what injustice reigns in our workplaces and cities, no matter what candidate takes the Oval Office, no matter what war strikes our home, no matter what nation rises and falls, no matter what befalls humankind, God reigns. And we hope in Him. As David says,
The LORD is king forever and ever;
the nations perish from His land.
O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted;
you will strengthen their heart;
you will incline your ear
to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed,
so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more. (Ps 10:16–18)
By God's grace may we have the perspective of Elisabeth, a 16-year-old girl enslaved for a time in a Thailand brothel, who though enduring multiple rapes as a sex slave, scrawled on the wall of her brothel room in her native tongue these words from Psalm 27: "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?"5
God's ways are not our ways. As David says, "your judgments are on high, out of ... sight" (Ps 10:5). God's timing may not make sense to us, but with the promise of ultimate justice, we can hope in the great goodness of His plan. Christ's first coming makes that clear. In His time, He will render justice where it is due and grace to those who believe and hope in Him.
Source: boundless
"I had faith until I got to Iraq.... I haven't gotten it back since. Once you get there, you wonder how God could allow anyone to go through that."
Those are the words of an Army specialist after serving two terms in Iraq, a man who weighs honestly his observations of war and faith. How do you reconcile mass bloodshed with a loving God? God seems absent at the very time when His intervention is most needed.
We've all heard this question in one shape or another, and if we're honest with ourselves, most of us have asked the question too. Like the Army specialist, the mass evil we see in our world — such as Hitler's genocidal program, the Darfur crisis, and heartless terrorism aimed at innocent civilians — disturbs us to the core. We cry out, "Where's God? I see no signs of Him anywhere."
If you've asked the question, you're in good company. King David, the man after God's own heart, posed the question too:
Why, O LORD, do you stand afar off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? (Ps 10:1)
Questioning God's presence isn't wrong. It's human.
The Roots of Questioning God's Presence
The feeling that God is absent stems from perceived injustice and fear. Injustice can anger the calmest soul. Who of us doesn't get riled up when someone gives us a biased, unfair evaluation of our job performance, demoting us and then advancing a lazy colleague because he's family?
Global injustice raises even harsher charges of God's absence because it affects such a widespread populace. Reports of 12-year-old girls sold into sex slavery makes our blood boil. People who take advantage of the poor and oppress the powerless spark in us a burning for just recompense.
David described the same injustice in his day:
In arrogance the wicked hotly pursue the poor....
His mouth is filled with cursing and deceit and oppression....
In hiding places he murders the innocent....
He lurks that he may seize the poor....
The helpless are crushed, sink down, and fall by His might. (Ps 10:2, 7–10)
The wicked person believes he has gotten away with his injustice because he thinks "God has hidden His face" and "will never see it" (Ps 10:11). In other words, believing God to be absent, he justifies taking advantage of the weak and powerless. What makes these violent, oppressive actions particularly repulsive is that the wicked man's "ways prosper at all times" (Ps 10:5). Sex slave traders don't expect to ever answer for their crimes; they're just out to make money.
Leading New Testament scholar N. T. Wright argues in his popular book Simply Christian that justice is one of the basic yearnings that define us as humans. Though we contrarily desire justice when we're wronged and beg for mercy when we're guilty, Wright concludes that we nonetheless long for "putting the world to rights"; we hope for a time when injustice will cease. Lacking pervasive justice, we ask, "Why, God, do you hide yourself in this time of trouble?"2
Fear intensifies our questioning of God's absence because we fear that injustice and the accompanying pain will strike me.
On a corporate level, the U.S. is largely fearful of terrorists and increasingly at odds with the rest of the world. And at this national crossroads, our fears seep out in our political process. Many Americans place tremendous hope in presidential candidates. The American people spend hundreds of millions of dollars on their presidential hopefuls because we believe so much hangs in the balance. Fear grips us and we grasp for someone to fix our dilemma. And some panic: "What if my candidate loses? Our nation could plunge into moral, economic and social chaos!"
David knew the intricacy of politics. He waited nearly 20 years to receive the kingship God promised him, fought extensively to secure it, lost it briefly to his son Absalom in a coup, and watched his children fight over it before he died.3 He knew, left to itself, the Israelite kingdom could implode. Fears could become reality then — and the same is true today in the U.S.
But David offered perspective that helps the people of God answer the burning question "Where is the Lord?" in any circumstance. He gave hope in the face of injustice and fear.
Walking by Faith, Not by Might
Psalm 10, from which the above descriptions were taken, is part of an acrostic poem in Hebrew that begins each line with a letter from the Hebrew alphabet. The acrostic begins not in Psalm 10:1, but in Psalm 9. The two chapters are originally intended to be read as a unit.4
In other words, the dreary picture of injustice painted in the first half of Psalm 10 is framed with the portrait of God painted in Psalm 9. Any question of God's absence must wrestle with the full nature of who God is. Psalm 10's first section shows that God in His sovereignty allows the unjust to experience prosperity for a time. Psalm 9 and the rest of Psalm 10 give a fuller picture of God's nature.
God will deal out justice to the oppressors. He will make the wicked perish and will "[blot] out their name forever and ever" (Ps 9:5):
But the Lord sits enthroned forever;
He has established His throne for justice,
and He judges the world with righteousness;
He judges the peoples with uprightness. (Ps 9:7–8)
In a particularly satisfying dealing of justice, the snare the wicked set is turned back on them: "The nations have sunk in the pit that they made; in the net that they hid their own foot has been caught" (Ps 9:15).
God is also "a stronghold for the oppressed" who does not forsake those who seek Him (Ps 9:9–10). He cares for the needy, and "the hope of the poor shall not perish forever." He is a gracious God who grants salvation and listens to the afflicted, a God worthy of praise (9:11–14).
The oppressor believes God won't see his injustice, but David says in contrast, "But you do see" (Ps 10:14), and thus he implores, "Arise, O LORD! Let not man prevail; let the nations be judged before you!" (9:19) And again he says, "Arise, O LORD, O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted" (10:12). David calls not on armies, but on God, who is "king forever and ever" (10:16).
In our world, might matters. But in God's economy, might is shattered. To us, might wins. But to God, might too often sins. It oppresses, murders and steals. But despite what God's Word teaches us about the dangers of power, we continue to place great hope in political and military might, don't we?
We live in the 21st century, which has followed millennia of nations rising and falling. Egypt, Babylon, Assyria, Medo-Persia, Greece, Rome, Spain, France, England, Germany — all nations that have held overarching power in the world at some point in time, but fell from supremacy. The United States is by no means immune to falling either.
The psalmist David describes a transcendent hope that weathers the ups and downs of politics and that promises true justice, not just a cheap imitation disguising a power-hungry opportunist. When we face injustice or fear, our solution as Christians is faith and hope — to believe in the God revealed to us in the Scriptures who is still in control and will one day deliver ultimate justice, and in uncertain circumstances to place our hope in Him. Believing and resting in the God of the Bible when the world's events say God is distant gives us the perspective we need in today's global upheaval.
Christ, Our Living Hope
This doesn't mean we shouldn't engage our world. God doesn't call for apathy and laziness, but for vigilance, action and prayer. That is, in fact, what Psalm 9–10 is: a prayer addressed to Yahweh, the God of Israel. David was clearly a man of action, even war, but also of prayer. His words reveal a faith that rested not in his spear, but in the Creator of the trees that humans shape into spears.
This same God, the Creator of all things, the God of David, revealed Himself centuries later in the person of Jesus Christ. Christ gives us a fuller picture of the God who we charge as absent.
What kind of God could allow anyone to go through the horrors of Iraq — the corruption, treachery, hatred, violence and death? A Christian response recognizes humanity's ultimate culpability (God doesn't force mankind's violent hand), but also points to a God who submitted Himself to all that suffering and more. Jesus Christ the Son of God endured despising and shame, betrayal and unjust execution so that we might have life. He bore the sins of the world, took our penalty, and died. He rose to conquer decay, and He lives to set the world to rights and to set all fears to rest forever. We hope in this God, in Jesus Christ, the God who reveals Himself as present and active in our fallen world.
No matter what injustice reigns in our workplaces and cities, no matter what candidate takes the Oval Office, no matter what war strikes our home, no matter what nation rises and falls, no matter what befalls humankind, God reigns. And we hope in Him. As David says,
The LORD is king forever and ever;
the nations perish from His land.
O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted;
you will strengthen their heart;
you will incline your ear
to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed,
so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more. (Ps 10:16–18)
By God's grace may we have the perspective of Elisabeth, a 16-year-old girl enslaved for a time in a Thailand brothel, who though enduring multiple rapes as a sex slave, scrawled on the wall of her brothel room in her native tongue these words from Psalm 27: "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?"5
God's ways are not our ways. As David says, "your judgments are on high, out of ... sight" (Ps 10:5). God's timing may not make sense to us, but with the promise of ultimate justice, we can hope in the great goodness of His plan. Christ's first coming makes that clear. In His time, He will render justice where it is due and grace to those who believe and hope in Him.
Source: boundless
Keep a Journal to Grow Spiritually
(by Whitney Hopler)
A journal can be a powerful tool for you to discover more about who you are and how your relationship with God is going. As you record your experiences, write out prayers, and analyze your thoughts and feelings, you can grow stronger in your faith.
Here are some tips for keeping a journal:
* Remember that keeping a journal should be fun and enriching, not an obligation. You don't have to write it in your journal every day as you would a diary; instead, you should just strive to write when you're able to do so.
* Schedule regular times in which to write in your journal. You may also want to set aside a special place in which to write, such as a particular room in your house.
* Keep your journal private - for your eyes only. That gives you the freedom to be completely open and honest about everything you write, without being concerned about how other people might perceive you if they were to read your journal. If you would like to keep a journal to eventually give to someone else or to leave for your family and friends after you die, keep a separate journal for that purpose.
* Ask God to use your journal entries to help you better understand all that's going on in your life and how God is working in the midst of it. Pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal and clarify your deepest thoughts and feelings as you write in your journal.
* Don't worry about your spelling or penmanship, and feel free to include artwork in your journal as well as words.
* Just get started, even if you don't know what to write at first. Start writing whatever comes to your mind, then watch your writing take shape through the process of recording it on paper. Often, you can't anticipate what you'll write until you actually begin, because the writing process helps clarify your thoughts and feelings.
* Take time to read your previous journal entries after some time has gone by. Notice answered prayers, and thank God for them.
* Use your journal to consider how God may be speaking to you through Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and other people.
* Scrutinize yourself through your journal so you can grow. Ask yourself hard questions, confess your sins, and seek to better understand your motivations. Then pray about what you've learned, asking God for forgiveness and grace.
* Commemorate special events in your life before they fade from your memory. Write down details of weddings, births, graduations, and other milestones.
* When you go through a tough time in your life, don't abandon your journal writing. Continue writing even when you don't feel like it, because those entries will prove valuable when you look back at them after your trial is over.
* Consider creative ideas for journal entry formats. You may want to write a letter to Christ, paraphrase a passage of Scripture and reflect on its meaning, brainstorm some dreams and goals, write your testimony, record a prayer for someone you love, or write a parable.
Adapted from Journal Keeping: Writing for Spiritual Growth, copyright 2002 by Luann Budd. Published by InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, Ill., www.ivpress.com, 1-800-843-4587.
Source: crosswalk
A journal can be a powerful tool for you to discover more about who you are and how your relationship with God is going. As you record your experiences, write out prayers, and analyze your thoughts and feelings, you can grow stronger in your faith.
Here are some tips for keeping a journal:
* Remember that keeping a journal should be fun and enriching, not an obligation. You don't have to write it in your journal every day as you would a diary; instead, you should just strive to write when you're able to do so.
* Schedule regular times in which to write in your journal. You may also want to set aside a special place in which to write, such as a particular room in your house.
* Keep your journal private - for your eyes only. That gives you the freedom to be completely open and honest about everything you write, without being concerned about how other people might perceive you if they were to read your journal. If you would like to keep a journal to eventually give to someone else or to leave for your family and friends after you die, keep a separate journal for that purpose.
* Ask God to use your journal entries to help you better understand all that's going on in your life and how God is working in the midst of it. Pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal and clarify your deepest thoughts and feelings as you write in your journal.
* Don't worry about your spelling or penmanship, and feel free to include artwork in your journal as well as words.
* Just get started, even if you don't know what to write at first. Start writing whatever comes to your mind, then watch your writing take shape through the process of recording it on paper. Often, you can't anticipate what you'll write until you actually begin, because the writing process helps clarify your thoughts and feelings.
* Take time to read your previous journal entries after some time has gone by. Notice answered prayers, and thank God for them.
* Use your journal to consider how God may be speaking to you through Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and other people.
* Scrutinize yourself through your journal so you can grow. Ask yourself hard questions, confess your sins, and seek to better understand your motivations. Then pray about what you've learned, asking God for forgiveness and grace.
* Commemorate special events in your life before they fade from your memory. Write down details of weddings, births, graduations, and other milestones.
* When you go through a tough time in your life, don't abandon your journal writing. Continue writing even when you don't feel like it, because those entries will prove valuable when you look back at them after your trial is over.
* Consider creative ideas for journal entry formats. You may want to write a letter to Christ, paraphrase a passage of Scripture and reflect on its meaning, brainstorm some dreams and goals, write your testimony, record a prayer for someone you love, or write a parable.
Adapted from Journal Keeping: Writing for Spiritual Growth, copyright 2002 by Luann Budd. Published by InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, Ill., www.ivpress.com, 1-800-843-4587.
Source: crosswalk
How to Encounter God through Journaling
(by Whitney Hopler)
Writing has the power to help you see the beauty of God at work in your life experiences. When you express your thoughts and feelings in a journal, you’ll be surprised by how much you discover about God in the process – and God will use your journal as a tool to transform you.
Here’s how you can encounter God through journaling:
Begin with prayer. Invite God to use your journaling experiences to draw you closer to Him and help you grow as a person. Ask Him to use your journaling to help you discover more about both Him and yourself.
Get ready. Decide when and where you’ll journal regularly. Choose any time or place that works best for you – from early morning journaling in a quiet room of your home, to late night journaling in a busy coffeehouse. Then buy a journal that appeals to you for writing your journal entries by hand, or set up a special file on your computer to type in your journal entries.
Give yourself freedom. Allow yourself to write or draw whatever comes to your mind. Don’t criticize or censor your journal entries. Don’t worry about trying to stick to grammar or spelling rules, trying to be logical, comparing yourself to others, or avoiding the expression of troubling thoughts or feelings. Simply write, to get what’s on your mind out on paper or on the computer screen. Write what’s true and real, keeping in mind that God loves you unconditionally.
Check your motivation. It’s not enough to journal simply out of a sense that journaling is something that you ought to do, because guilt isn’t an effective motivator. Make sure that you’re journaling because you truly want to encounter God in the process. Your excitement about expecting to meet God when you journal will keep you motivated enough to make journaling a regular practice in your life.
Face your fears. Don’t let a desire to avoid your fears keep you from journaling honestly about whatever you’re thinking and feeling. Ask God to give you the courage to write about each of your fears openly, and expect that, as you do, God will meet you in the middle of them and help you grow. Instead of keeping your fears locked within you, let them pour out onto your journal’s pages.
Write a letter to God. Use your journal to write to God, aiming to be truthful rather than nice. Tell Him where you are right now in your journey with Him, and wish you wish you were. Describe how you see God and how you see yourself at this point in your life’s story.
Witness to the truth. List situations in your life where God is calling you to witness to biblical truth. Ask: “Where am I being asked to speak out and name a wrong being done to me or someone I know?”, “Where am I being called to bring light to a situation that has been dimmed by the darkness of misunderstanding or sin?”, “Where might I need to change everyday habits that make the environment within me and around me worse?”, and “Where does the truth need to be named and lived?”.
Pay attention. Spend a few minutes studying the place where you’re journaling. Write for a while about what you do see; then write for a while about what you don’t see. Finally, read your journal entries and write a response to what you did and didn’t notice. Choose an object you’ve had for at least six months, describe it in your journal, and tell its story. Then reflect on its story in the context of your own life. Choose a relationship you have with someone – your spouse or one of your kids, parents, siblings, friends, coworkers or neighbors. Think about the story you share with that person; not just who each of you are, but who you are together and what happens between you. Describe the story of your relationship. Remember a particular room that you spent time in as a child. Describe it in as much detail as you can, and include people if there are any in the room when you think of it. Then note whatever feelings came up as you wrote about the room.
Honor your story. Use your journal as a place to get to know more about yourself and befriend yourself, remembering that your identity is rooted in the fact that God made you and loves you. Reflect on your name by writing it across the top of a journal page and recording the memories, feelings, and stories connected to your name. Consider what names God might use to describe you, and journal a prayer to God responding to those names. Notice when you’ve thought negatively about yourself, and start to write positively about yourself in your journal. Learn how to bless yourself by describing yourself in positive ways.
Mine beneath the surface of your life. Go deeper than just recording events in your journal. Aim to express your reactions to the events you experience, writing meaningful thoughts and feelings you have rather than just what’s happened lately in your life. Pray about the various parts of your life – your family and friends, your work, your health, etc. – and ask God to show you what He would like you to reflect on more deeply in your journal. Once you’ve chosen a topic, free write about it for a while. Then draw a map of that area of your life, with words or pictures representing your experiences related to that area and how you think and feel about it. Notice how you may have changed what you believe about that area of your life over time, and write about those changes. Consider what actions your journal entries are urging you to take in response to what you’ve written about this area of your life: Maybe you feel compelled to apologize to someone, seek help to solve a problem, or take some other kind of action. Accept God’s invitation to listen to His prompting through your journal and act on it.
Bless your body. Try journaling soon after you do some form of physical exercise, and see if you come up with new insights when you exercise your mind after exercising your body. You may notice a spurt of creativity. Journal about how you might embody Christ’s compassion to the people for whom you’re praying, such as encouraging someone with a call or card, or speaking up for someone who’s being mistreated. Think about a part of your body that you don’t particularly like, and consider what this part of your body might say to you if you gave it a chance to speak through your journal. Write that down. Then write a prayer to God, asking Him to help you accept that part of your body as something beautiful because He made it. Tell your body’s story, listing significant physical events in your life, such as giving birth to your children, struggling with an eating disorder, or learning to play a sport. Be sure to respond to what you’ve written, describing how you feel about your body’s story.
Reflect on the past. Ask God to shed His light on your past to help you see it from His perspective. Avoid either romanticizing or demonizing your past; recognize that even though you’ve sinned in the past, God can redeem it all and continues to love you. List some things for which you’re thankful, and write a prayer of gratitude to God. As you reflect on your past, pray for discernment about what you need to let go of and what you need to hold on to. Consider how well you have and haven’t discerned God’s voice guiding you in the past, and describe some of the ways God has led you to where you are now in your journey with Him.
Look forward. Use your journal to imagine your future. Make a list of 100 things you want to do or be before you die, and don’t worry about the practicality of some of your desires. Then read through your list and notice what desires you’ve emphasized or repeated. Consider why those desires mean the most to you and what fears may be related to them. Ask God to help you consider what seeds you’re planting in your own life and the lives of those around you – seeds that will produce good fruit, or seeds that will lead to bad results. Think of a particular concern you have, and write about your feelings as you’re waiting to see how God will answer your prayers about it. Write down your questions for God and wait about a week, listening for any answers you might receive. Then, after the week is over, write down any new insights you now have about the situation. List some of the ways you’ve been disappointed lately and honestly record your feelings about them. Then describe some specific ways you can continue to live in hope, trusting in God’s goodness despite your disappointments.
Orient yourself in the present. Create a personal compass in your journal by drawing a large circle and dividing it into four sections: south, north, east, and west. In the center, draw a smaller circle, and leave this space open as your place to mentally stand and look in each direction. The south side of your compass represents creativity, imagination, spontaneity, and play. Ask yourself: “Where do I feel my creativity being called forth?”, “What do I really long to do or be?”, “How do I nurture myself?”, “What are the hobbies I’m passionate about?”. The north represents the stabilizing and guiding forces in your life. Ask yourself: “Who is that deeply loves me and guides me?”, “What are the images of God that nurture and sustain me?”, “Is there a grace story or salvation story from the Bible that animates me, or brings clarity to my life or my understanding of God?” and “Who are my spiritual guides and deepest friends?”. The east represents new beginnings. Ask yourself: “What light is just beginning to appear on my horizon?”, “What am I being asked to take hold in a new way?”, “ Where am I being called to embrace something?” and “What areas in my life need change or transformation?”. The west represents endings and things you need to let go. Ask yourself: “What maps no longer work for my life?”, “What (or perhaps who) needs to be released and let go?”, “What beliefs or attitudes or patterns do I need to die to?”, “Where is deep healing needed?” and “What areas in my life need change or transformation?”. As you look at the empty space at the center of your compass, imagine yourself standing there and write a “yes” there to commit all directions of your life to God’s love if you’re able to trust Him to guide you in all areas of your life. If you’re struggling with following God in certain areas of your life, journal about your struggles honestly.
Engage in dialogues. Start a conversation with God by writing something to Him in your journal, then praying and listening for any response He might speak to your mind. Write down whatever you think you heard God say. Later, read the dialogue and test it against Scripture, your life experiences, and even the opinions of people you trust who know you well. Read a story from the Bible and imagine yourself in the scene, observing and listening. As you imagine the story unfolding, write down extra details that could have been part of what happened. Ask the people in the biblical account whatever questions you may have, and write down what you imagine their responses to be. If the story you’ve selected includes Jesus, pay special attention to what you’d like to ask Him. Then read what you’ve written and notice how you’ve come to understand the biblical story in a new light. Think about a longing you’ve had for a while, but that you’ve let go instead of pursuing – such as a desire to travel to a particular place or learn a new skill. Then imagine that you’re talking to this exiled longing in your journal. Allow your desire to find its own voice and explain why you let it go and why it hopes you’ll pursue it in the future.
Find your way through suffering. Remember a place of suffering in your own life, the life of someone you know, or in the world. Allow yourself to feel sorrow about it. Then list the words you associate with the suffering itself, and those that express your thoughts and feelings about it. Read one of the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ journey toward the cross. Imagine and describe what Jesus may have seen, heard, smelled, touched, and even tasted along the way. Write a prayer to Him in which you describe your own thoughts and feelings as you imagine His walk toward the crucifixion. Next, ponder Jesus’ resurrection, and consider some of the ways you’ve seen His resurrection power at work in your own life, especially during times of grief, sorrow, doubt, despair, fear, anxiety, or confusion. How did you experience His power, and how might it help you with whatever is troubling you now? List people who you can trust to be honest and real with you when you’re suffering. Who will ask you the hard questions you need to consider? Who will encourage and support you when you’re struggling? Look at the names you’ve written; then contact these people the next time you need their help.
Write for healing. Your journal is a safe place to identify and describe the ways you’ve been wounded and reflect on how you feel about what happened. For each wound you write about, notice its effect on your life and the places where you’ve experienced some healing, as well as the places where you feel stuck. Write about ways you can pursue the healing that God offers. Consider the various names for God, and write about how some of them are particularly meaningful for you in your relationship with Him. Bend over physically to pray about an outworn behavior, false belief, or mistaken attitude that no longer fits your reality. Reflect in your journal on how you can grow behind that behavior, belief, or attitude that has been weighing you down. Use your journal to move through your pain toward healing.
Notice the holy in the ordinary. Take a second look at a person who is close to you by carefully observing him or her and interviewing others about him or her. Then record what you learned in your journal, and notice how your perspective on that person may have changed. Walk through your neighborhood, praying for a particular concern or question. Afterward, write down any new insights you’ve received in your journal. Reread your past journal entries and notice what surprises you about what you’ve written. Pay attention to unexpected ways you discover evidence of God at work in your everyday life. Write a prayer to God, thanking Him for His work in your life.
Consider sharing parts of your journal. While your journal is a private record, there are times when it may be helpful to share parts of it with others. If you’d like to do so, share what’s appropriate with someone you trust as a gift to that person. Don’t judge, criticize, or apologize for your writing or your writing experience. Remember that your journal is an important place of discovery for you and any others with whom you choose to share it.
Source: crosswalk
Writing has the power to help you see the beauty of God at work in your life experiences. When you express your thoughts and feelings in a journal, you’ll be surprised by how much you discover about God in the process – and God will use your journal as a tool to transform you.
Here’s how you can encounter God through journaling:
Begin with prayer. Invite God to use your journaling experiences to draw you closer to Him and help you grow as a person. Ask Him to use your journaling to help you discover more about both Him and yourself.
Get ready. Decide when and where you’ll journal regularly. Choose any time or place that works best for you – from early morning journaling in a quiet room of your home, to late night journaling in a busy coffeehouse. Then buy a journal that appeals to you for writing your journal entries by hand, or set up a special file on your computer to type in your journal entries.
Give yourself freedom. Allow yourself to write or draw whatever comes to your mind. Don’t criticize or censor your journal entries. Don’t worry about trying to stick to grammar or spelling rules, trying to be logical, comparing yourself to others, or avoiding the expression of troubling thoughts or feelings. Simply write, to get what’s on your mind out on paper or on the computer screen. Write what’s true and real, keeping in mind that God loves you unconditionally.
Check your motivation. It’s not enough to journal simply out of a sense that journaling is something that you ought to do, because guilt isn’t an effective motivator. Make sure that you’re journaling because you truly want to encounter God in the process. Your excitement about expecting to meet God when you journal will keep you motivated enough to make journaling a regular practice in your life.
Face your fears. Don’t let a desire to avoid your fears keep you from journaling honestly about whatever you’re thinking and feeling. Ask God to give you the courage to write about each of your fears openly, and expect that, as you do, God will meet you in the middle of them and help you grow. Instead of keeping your fears locked within you, let them pour out onto your journal’s pages.
Write a letter to God. Use your journal to write to God, aiming to be truthful rather than nice. Tell Him where you are right now in your journey with Him, and wish you wish you were. Describe how you see God and how you see yourself at this point in your life’s story.
Witness to the truth. List situations in your life where God is calling you to witness to biblical truth. Ask: “Where am I being asked to speak out and name a wrong being done to me or someone I know?”, “Where am I being called to bring light to a situation that has been dimmed by the darkness of misunderstanding or sin?”, “Where might I need to change everyday habits that make the environment within me and around me worse?”, and “Where does the truth need to be named and lived?”.
Pay attention. Spend a few minutes studying the place where you’re journaling. Write for a while about what you do see; then write for a while about what you don’t see. Finally, read your journal entries and write a response to what you did and didn’t notice. Choose an object you’ve had for at least six months, describe it in your journal, and tell its story. Then reflect on its story in the context of your own life. Choose a relationship you have with someone – your spouse or one of your kids, parents, siblings, friends, coworkers or neighbors. Think about the story you share with that person; not just who each of you are, but who you are together and what happens between you. Describe the story of your relationship. Remember a particular room that you spent time in as a child. Describe it in as much detail as you can, and include people if there are any in the room when you think of it. Then note whatever feelings came up as you wrote about the room.
Honor your story. Use your journal as a place to get to know more about yourself and befriend yourself, remembering that your identity is rooted in the fact that God made you and loves you. Reflect on your name by writing it across the top of a journal page and recording the memories, feelings, and stories connected to your name. Consider what names God might use to describe you, and journal a prayer to God responding to those names. Notice when you’ve thought negatively about yourself, and start to write positively about yourself in your journal. Learn how to bless yourself by describing yourself in positive ways.
Mine beneath the surface of your life. Go deeper than just recording events in your journal. Aim to express your reactions to the events you experience, writing meaningful thoughts and feelings you have rather than just what’s happened lately in your life. Pray about the various parts of your life – your family and friends, your work, your health, etc. – and ask God to show you what He would like you to reflect on more deeply in your journal. Once you’ve chosen a topic, free write about it for a while. Then draw a map of that area of your life, with words or pictures representing your experiences related to that area and how you think and feel about it. Notice how you may have changed what you believe about that area of your life over time, and write about those changes. Consider what actions your journal entries are urging you to take in response to what you’ve written about this area of your life: Maybe you feel compelled to apologize to someone, seek help to solve a problem, or take some other kind of action. Accept God’s invitation to listen to His prompting through your journal and act on it.
Bless your body. Try journaling soon after you do some form of physical exercise, and see if you come up with new insights when you exercise your mind after exercising your body. You may notice a spurt of creativity. Journal about how you might embody Christ’s compassion to the people for whom you’re praying, such as encouraging someone with a call or card, or speaking up for someone who’s being mistreated. Think about a part of your body that you don’t particularly like, and consider what this part of your body might say to you if you gave it a chance to speak through your journal. Write that down. Then write a prayer to God, asking Him to help you accept that part of your body as something beautiful because He made it. Tell your body’s story, listing significant physical events in your life, such as giving birth to your children, struggling with an eating disorder, or learning to play a sport. Be sure to respond to what you’ve written, describing how you feel about your body’s story.
Reflect on the past. Ask God to shed His light on your past to help you see it from His perspective. Avoid either romanticizing or demonizing your past; recognize that even though you’ve sinned in the past, God can redeem it all and continues to love you. List some things for which you’re thankful, and write a prayer of gratitude to God. As you reflect on your past, pray for discernment about what you need to let go of and what you need to hold on to. Consider how well you have and haven’t discerned God’s voice guiding you in the past, and describe some of the ways God has led you to where you are now in your journey with Him.
Look forward. Use your journal to imagine your future. Make a list of 100 things you want to do or be before you die, and don’t worry about the practicality of some of your desires. Then read through your list and notice what desires you’ve emphasized or repeated. Consider why those desires mean the most to you and what fears may be related to them. Ask God to help you consider what seeds you’re planting in your own life and the lives of those around you – seeds that will produce good fruit, or seeds that will lead to bad results. Think of a particular concern you have, and write about your feelings as you’re waiting to see how God will answer your prayers about it. Write down your questions for God and wait about a week, listening for any answers you might receive. Then, after the week is over, write down any new insights you now have about the situation. List some of the ways you’ve been disappointed lately and honestly record your feelings about them. Then describe some specific ways you can continue to live in hope, trusting in God’s goodness despite your disappointments.
Orient yourself in the present. Create a personal compass in your journal by drawing a large circle and dividing it into four sections: south, north, east, and west. In the center, draw a smaller circle, and leave this space open as your place to mentally stand and look in each direction. The south side of your compass represents creativity, imagination, spontaneity, and play. Ask yourself: “Where do I feel my creativity being called forth?”, “What do I really long to do or be?”, “How do I nurture myself?”, “What are the hobbies I’m passionate about?”. The north represents the stabilizing and guiding forces in your life. Ask yourself: “Who is that deeply loves me and guides me?”, “What are the images of God that nurture and sustain me?”, “Is there a grace story or salvation story from the Bible that animates me, or brings clarity to my life or my understanding of God?” and “Who are my spiritual guides and deepest friends?”. The east represents new beginnings. Ask yourself: “What light is just beginning to appear on my horizon?”, “What am I being asked to take hold in a new way?”, “ Where am I being called to embrace something?” and “What areas in my life need change or transformation?”. The west represents endings and things you need to let go. Ask yourself: “What maps no longer work for my life?”, “What (or perhaps who) needs to be released and let go?”, “What beliefs or attitudes or patterns do I need to die to?”, “Where is deep healing needed?” and “What areas in my life need change or transformation?”. As you look at the empty space at the center of your compass, imagine yourself standing there and write a “yes” there to commit all directions of your life to God’s love if you’re able to trust Him to guide you in all areas of your life. If you’re struggling with following God in certain areas of your life, journal about your struggles honestly.
Engage in dialogues. Start a conversation with God by writing something to Him in your journal, then praying and listening for any response He might speak to your mind. Write down whatever you think you heard God say. Later, read the dialogue and test it against Scripture, your life experiences, and even the opinions of people you trust who know you well. Read a story from the Bible and imagine yourself in the scene, observing and listening. As you imagine the story unfolding, write down extra details that could have been part of what happened. Ask the people in the biblical account whatever questions you may have, and write down what you imagine their responses to be. If the story you’ve selected includes Jesus, pay special attention to what you’d like to ask Him. Then read what you’ve written and notice how you’ve come to understand the biblical story in a new light. Think about a longing you’ve had for a while, but that you’ve let go instead of pursuing – such as a desire to travel to a particular place or learn a new skill. Then imagine that you’re talking to this exiled longing in your journal. Allow your desire to find its own voice and explain why you let it go and why it hopes you’ll pursue it in the future.
Find your way through suffering. Remember a place of suffering in your own life, the life of someone you know, or in the world. Allow yourself to feel sorrow about it. Then list the words you associate with the suffering itself, and those that express your thoughts and feelings about it. Read one of the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ journey toward the cross. Imagine and describe what Jesus may have seen, heard, smelled, touched, and even tasted along the way. Write a prayer to Him in which you describe your own thoughts and feelings as you imagine His walk toward the crucifixion. Next, ponder Jesus’ resurrection, and consider some of the ways you’ve seen His resurrection power at work in your own life, especially during times of grief, sorrow, doubt, despair, fear, anxiety, or confusion. How did you experience His power, and how might it help you with whatever is troubling you now? List people who you can trust to be honest and real with you when you’re suffering. Who will ask you the hard questions you need to consider? Who will encourage and support you when you’re struggling? Look at the names you’ve written; then contact these people the next time you need their help.
Write for healing. Your journal is a safe place to identify and describe the ways you’ve been wounded and reflect on how you feel about what happened. For each wound you write about, notice its effect on your life and the places where you’ve experienced some healing, as well as the places where you feel stuck. Write about ways you can pursue the healing that God offers. Consider the various names for God, and write about how some of them are particularly meaningful for you in your relationship with Him. Bend over physically to pray about an outworn behavior, false belief, or mistaken attitude that no longer fits your reality. Reflect in your journal on how you can grow behind that behavior, belief, or attitude that has been weighing you down. Use your journal to move through your pain toward healing.
Notice the holy in the ordinary. Take a second look at a person who is close to you by carefully observing him or her and interviewing others about him or her. Then record what you learned in your journal, and notice how your perspective on that person may have changed. Walk through your neighborhood, praying for a particular concern or question. Afterward, write down any new insights you’ve received in your journal. Reread your past journal entries and notice what surprises you about what you’ve written. Pay attention to unexpected ways you discover evidence of God at work in your everyday life. Write a prayer to God, thanking Him for His work in your life.
Consider sharing parts of your journal. While your journal is a private record, there are times when it may be helpful to share parts of it with others. If you’d like to do so, share what’s appropriate with someone you trust as a gift to that person. Don’t judge, criticize, or apologize for your writing or your writing experience. Remember that your journal is an important place of discovery for you and any others with whom you choose to share it.
Source: crosswalk
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Let Your Relationships Refine Not Define
(by Cliff Young)
Companies spend billions of dollars a year for celebrities to endorse their product. They believe our culture wants to wear, look, eat, drive and be like a celebrity, and they are probably correct. We often try anything to be like other people or someone other than ourselves.
I have thought about this when facing a questionnaire or personality profile, “How I can skew my answer to be perceived ‘more favorable,’ be like someone else or be what someone else would want?” I look back and see how I applied this premise to some of my past relationships.
There was a time when I tried to be and do everything I thought my girlfriend wanted. I changed my lifestyle, I changed what I ate, I changed the sports I played, I changed the way I acted—I became a different person. After noticing I was emotionally up, down and all over the place, a close friend shared with me that I wasn’t being myself.
I discovered I had let my relationship define who I was.
Define Yourself
Years ago a popular advertising campaign stated, “Be like Mike” (Michael Jordan). As a result, millions of people ran out to purchase basketball shoes and apparel imprinted with his image. The only person it defined was Michael Jordan.
So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27).
We are all created in God’s image, not in an image you see on a magazine cover, on television, or in the movies. Unfortunately, we tend to spend more time absorbing these images from the media than we do absorbing God’s Word.
The Lord gave me a message. He said, ‘I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as a spokesman to the world’ (Jeremiah 1:5).
It must pain the Lord when I try to emulate another person rather than embrace who the Lord created me to be.
He knew me (us)
He formed me (us)
He set me (us) apart
He appointed me (us) as a spokesman to the world.
Define yourself as God’s creation in God’s image for God’s purpose.
Refine Yourself
Precious metals are often mentioned in the Bible in correlation to a person’s character. The process of purifying a metal or making it precious requires high heat, hammering, cooling, and forming along the way. Our journey to become precious requires us to go through difficult times and struggles so that we may grow strong, pure and complete.
I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure, just as gold and silver are refined and purified by fire (Zechariah 13:9).
I love that the Bible translates to use the term refine. The definitions of refine are descriptive and depict a positive result.
* To free from impurities or unwanted material
* To free from moral imperfection
* To improve or perfect by pruning or polishing
* To become pure or perfected
* To make improvement by introducing subtleties or distinctions
We all have impurities and moral imperfections that can be refined and perfected. We can work on areas of our life to improve who we are. However, our instinct may be to avoid situations that will stretch us or reveal our weaknesses because we don’t want to “deal with it.” It’s easier to blame others (or take it out on others) for our circumstances rather than face our own shortcomings (or take responsibility for our own actions). This is often highlighted and magnified within a relationship.
How Relationships Can Help to Refine
I used to work with a person who, when asked, “Why did you marry your wife when you are treated so harshly by her?” responded, “I’d rather be married and miserable than be single and alone.” What?! Is that why God created him in His own image, to be married and miserable?
Many relationships experience difficulties because two “incomplete” people enter the relationship wanting the other person to “complete” them (thank you Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire). Instead of looking for someone else to complete you, look to the Lord.
Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you (James 4:8).
Grow closer to God and learn His will for your life and your relationships.
Evaluate the things you like and dislike about yourself and about those you have been in relationship with.
Determine how you can become a better person (and mate) and the type of person you want to be with.
The closer we are in relationship with God, the closer we will be to God’s will for our life and the healthier we will be in our relationships with others.
Where are you in the process of being refined, hammered, and purified? How close are you to being what God created you to be? Don’t give up God’s dream for your life in order to settle for a relationship, follow someone else’s dream, or because a prior relationship didn’t work out. Don’t allow your unsuccessful relationships to define who you are, rather use them to refine you into the person God has designed and planned for you to be.
I will keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven (Philippians 3:12-14).
Companies spend billions of dollars a year for celebrities to endorse their product. They believe our culture wants to wear, look, eat, drive and be like a celebrity, and they are probably correct. We often try anything to be like other people or someone other than ourselves.
I have thought about this when facing a questionnaire or personality profile, “How I can skew my answer to be perceived ‘more favorable,’ be like someone else or be what someone else would want?” I look back and see how I applied this premise to some of my past relationships.
There was a time when I tried to be and do everything I thought my girlfriend wanted. I changed my lifestyle, I changed what I ate, I changed the sports I played, I changed the way I acted—I became a different person. After noticing I was emotionally up, down and all over the place, a close friend shared with me that I wasn’t being myself.
I discovered I had let my relationship define who I was.
Define Yourself
Years ago a popular advertising campaign stated, “Be like Mike” (Michael Jordan). As a result, millions of people ran out to purchase basketball shoes and apparel imprinted with his image. The only person it defined was Michael Jordan.
So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27).
We are all created in God’s image, not in an image you see on a magazine cover, on television, or in the movies. Unfortunately, we tend to spend more time absorbing these images from the media than we do absorbing God’s Word.
The Lord gave me a message. He said, ‘I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as a spokesman to the world’ (Jeremiah 1:5).
It must pain the Lord when I try to emulate another person rather than embrace who the Lord created me to be.
He knew me (us)
He formed me (us)
He set me (us) apart
He appointed me (us) as a spokesman to the world.
Define yourself as God’s creation in God’s image for God’s purpose.
Refine Yourself
Precious metals are often mentioned in the Bible in correlation to a person’s character. The process of purifying a metal or making it precious requires high heat, hammering, cooling, and forming along the way. Our journey to become precious requires us to go through difficult times and struggles so that we may grow strong, pure and complete.
I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure, just as gold and silver are refined and purified by fire (Zechariah 13:9).
I love that the Bible translates to use the term refine. The definitions of refine are descriptive and depict a positive result.
* To free from impurities or unwanted material
* To free from moral imperfection
* To improve or perfect by pruning or polishing
* To become pure or perfected
* To make improvement by introducing subtleties or distinctions
We all have impurities and moral imperfections that can be refined and perfected. We can work on areas of our life to improve who we are. However, our instinct may be to avoid situations that will stretch us or reveal our weaknesses because we don’t want to “deal with it.” It’s easier to blame others (or take it out on others) for our circumstances rather than face our own shortcomings (or take responsibility for our own actions). This is often highlighted and magnified within a relationship.
How Relationships Can Help to Refine
I used to work with a person who, when asked, “Why did you marry your wife when you are treated so harshly by her?” responded, “I’d rather be married and miserable than be single and alone.” What?! Is that why God created him in His own image, to be married and miserable?
Many relationships experience difficulties because two “incomplete” people enter the relationship wanting the other person to “complete” them (thank you Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire). Instead of looking for someone else to complete you, look to the Lord.
Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you (James 4:8).
Grow closer to God and learn His will for your life and your relationships.
Evaluate the things you like and dislike about yourself and about those you have been in relationship with.
Determine how you can become a better person (and mate) and the type of person you want to be with.
The closer we are in relationship with God, the closer we will be to God’s will for our life and the healthier we will be in our relationships with others.
Where are you in the process of being refined, hammered, and purified? How close are you to being what God created you to be? Don’t give up God’s dream for your life in order to settle for a relationship, follow someone else’s dream, or because a prior relationship didn’t work out. Don’t allow your unsuccessful relationships to define who you are, rather use them to refine you into the person God has designed and planned for you to be.
I will keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven (Philippians 3:12-14).
Already Not Yet
(by Suzanne Hadley)
After the words were out, I regretted them.
She had challenged me. My irritation had flared. And instead of choosing the path of love, I had put her in her place. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would. In fact, it felt horrible.
After the incident, I was ashamed. I wondered how I — someone who claims to desire to be like Christ — could react in such an ugly, selfish way. There was precedent, of course. This wasn't the first time I'd acted in a way that didn't exactly reflect the renewed mind.
Spiritual Schizophrenia
My friend Josh recently preached a sermon titled: "Already Not Yet." (Many of the thoughts that follow are his.)
"I'm not about to tell you my views on the end times," he said, referring to the title's eschatological connotation. "I'm borrowing the phrase for my own purposes."
He went on to talk about the tension believers feel between the things we already possess as children of God, and those marks of spiritual renewal we must strive for throughout our lives. In a word: sanctification.
Consider Ephesians 4:22-24:
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
That sounds like an impossibly tall order ... to be like God. When I allowed my pride to take over and lashed out, I certainly wasn't exercising righteousness and holiness. And yet my following-Jesus self is supposed to be marked by those qualities.
To illustrate this tension, Josh showed us a painting by the Chinese artist He Qi, a Christian man who paints vivid portraits of biblical characters in the style of Chinese opera art. In one of his paintings, He depicts a two-faced Pharaoh from Exodus. One side of Pharaoh's face is penitent; the other side is rebellious.
"Sometimes I feel this way about my spiritual life," Josh said. "I look at my life and see what looks like both good and bad fruit."
Good Tree, Bad Tree
The fruit issue has also troubled me through the years. Jesus makes a pretty strong statement in Matthew, when he says, "Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire" (7:19). Fruit — or the lack of it — is a serious matter.
However, it appears that the focus here is the tree, not the fruit. Luke 6:43-45 says:
No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
And James says a similar thing:
Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. (3:10-12)
Caring for the tree — or one's spiritual life and connection to the Savior — will lead to good fruit. One sin — even a doozy — does not bad fruit make. Nor does one victory equal good fruit.
Josh gave this example: "In the 1980s, there was a successful fruit company out of California. They were publicly traded. The company did just fine at first — exported a lot of fruit — but didn't make a huge splash. The company then experienced many flat months and some that appeared absolutely wretched."
He showed us a graph of the fruit company's plummeting stock over the course of those months. Then he zoomed out to 10-year view, which showed a very different picture. That perspective revealed a steady and even sharp upward climb. The horrible dips were barely visible.
"Today that company is worth 10 times what it was 10 years ago," he said. "And I played a little trick on you. The 'fruit' company is Apple."
This could account for how some Bible heroes (e.g. Peter, David, Abraham) earned overall good ratings in Scripture even though they failed — and failed big. Persistent Christ-like attitudes and actions produce good fruit. Persistent sinful attitudes and actions produce bad fruit.
When I sin, sometimes I feel like I just blew up the whole fruit stand. But the truth is, inner transformation is taking place as I daily seek to surrender my will to Christ's. And that kind of transformation produces good fruit.
Not Yet
So what can be done beyond seeking God's forgiveness and forgiving myself when I sin? When I recognize that salvation is a process, not an ending point, I am free to move beyond setbacks and live each day for Christ.
These verses provide wonderful truths about what has already taken place in my Christian life:
* "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Cor. 5:17).
* "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires" (Gal. 5:24).
* "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God" (Rom. 5:1-2).
I am a new creation, I have crucified the old self and I stand justified and at peace with God. And yet my faith should be ever-maturing:
* "My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, how I wish I could be with you now and change my tone, because I am perplexed about you!" (Gal. 4:19-20)
* "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." (Eph. 4:1)
* "Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you" (2 Cor. 13:11).
I am not yet conformed to His likeness. I must still strive for daily victory. And I am (sadly) not yet perfect. Perhaps Paul puts this struggle best in Romans 7:21-25:
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God — through Jesus Christ our Lord!
God alone can make my spiritual stock soar. And He will, if I take care of my tree by fellowshipping with Christ and being open to correction. I know I am not yet producing a bumper crop of spiritual fruit, but I am already under the care of a Master Gardener.
Source: boundless
After the words were out, I regretted them.
She had challenged me. My irritation had flared. And instead of choosing the path of love, I had put her in her place. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would. In fact, it felt horrible.
After the incident, I was ashamed. I wondered how I — someone who claims to desire to be like Christ — could react in such an ugly, selfish way. There was precedent, of course. This wasn't the first time I'd acted in a way that didn't exactly reflect the renewed mind.
Spiritual Schizophrenia
My friend Josh recently preached a sermon titled: "Already Not Yet." (Many of the thoughts that follow are his.)
"I'm not about to tell you my views on the end times," he said, referring to the title's eschatological connotation. "I'm borrowing the phrase for my own purposes."
He went on to talk about the tension believers feel between the things we already possess as children of God, and those marks of spiritual renewal we must strive for throughout our lives. In a word: sanctification.
Consider Ephesians 4:22-24:
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
That sounds like an impossibly tall order ... to be like God. When I allowed my pride to take over and lashed out, I certainly wasn't exercising righteousness and holiness. And yet my following-Jesus self is supposed to be marked by those qualities.
To illustrate this tension, Josh showed us a painting by the Chinese artist He Qi, a Christian man who paints vivid portraits of biblical characters in the style of Chinese opera art. In one of his paintings, He depicts a two-faced Pharaoh from Exodus. One side of Pharaoh's face is penitent; the other side is rebellious.
"Sometimes I feel this way about my spiritual life," Josh said. "I look at my life and see what looks like both good and bad fruit."
Good Tree, Bad Tree
The fruit issue has also troubled me through the years. Jesus makes a pretty strong statement in Matthew, when he says, "Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire" (7:19). Fruit — or the lack of it — is a serious matter.
However, it appears that the focus here is the tree, not the fruit. Luke 6:43-45 says:
No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
And James says a similar thing:
Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. (3:10-12)
Caring for the tree — or one's spiritual life and connection to the Savior — will lead to good fruit. One sin — even a doozy — does not bad fruit make. Nor does one victory equal good fruit.
Josh gave this example: "In the 1980s, there was a successful fruit company out of California. They were publicly traded. The company did just fine at first — exported a lot of fruit — but didn't make a huge splash. The company then experienced many flat months and some that appeared absolutely wretched."
He showed us a graph of the fruit company's plummeting stock over the course of those months. Then he zoomed out to 10-year view, which showed a very different picture. That perspective revealed a steady and even sharp upward climb. The horrible dips were barely visible.
"Today that company is worth 10 times what it was 10 years ago," he said. "And I played a little trick on you. The 'fruit' company is Apple."
This could account for how some Bible heroes (e.g. Peter, David, Abraham) earned overall good ratings in Scripture even though they failed — and failed big. Persistent Christ-like attitudes and actions produce good fruit. Persistent sinful attitudes and actions produce bad fruit.
When I sin, sometimes I feel like I just blew up the whole fruit stand. But the truth is, inner transformation is taking place as I daily seek to surrender my will to Christ's. And that kind of transformation produces good fruit.
Not Yet
So what can be done beyond seeking God's forgiveness and forgiving myself when I sin? When I recognize that salvation is a process, not an ending point, I am free to move beyond setbacks and live each day for Christ.
These verses provide wonderful truths about what has already taken place in my Christian life:
* "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Cor. 5:17).
* "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires" (Gal. 5:24).
* "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God" (Rom. 5:1-2).
I am a new creation, I have crucified the old self and I stand justified and at peace with God. And yet my faith should be ever-maturing:
* "My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, how I wish I could be with you now and change my tone, because I am perplexed about you!" (Gal. 4:19-20)
* "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." (Eph. 4:1)
* "Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you" (2 Cor. 13:11).
I am not yet conformed to His likeness. I must still strive for daily victory. And I am (sadly) not yet perfect. Perhaps Paul puts this struggle best in Romans 7:21-25:
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God — through Jesus Christ our Lord!
God alone can make my spiritual stock soar. And He will, if I take care of my tree by fellowshipping with Christ and being open to correction. I know I am not yet producing a bumper crop of spiritual fruit, but I am already under the care of a Master Gardener.
Source: boundless
God Told Me to Marry You
(by Candice Watters)
A guy whom I previously decided not to date told me recently that he feels I am the one God wants him to marry. I am a bit confused and bothered because I do not share this "revelation" at all. It seems to me that he is a bit immature in telling me this. His immaturity was exactly the reason why I decided not to start a relationship with him.
He definitely does not fit the "type" I have had in mind, but I would like to follow God's will. How do I know if this is God's will? How should I pray?
REPLY
I think it would be freaky to have a man you're not attracted to suddenly drop that "revelation" on you. My first thought is that this guy's approach is evidence not of God's revelation, but of manipulation. I suspect it made you even less inclined to spend any time with him. Whether he realizes it, his approach has had the opposite effect of what he intended.
I agree with my mentor who said, "God will not reveal to one person and not the other." I would add, especially about something so critical as whom you decide to marry. What we know God has revealed, she said, "is that we are to pray for peace. In the absence of peace, you can be confident that this is not God's will."
Even if God did tell this guy what he thinks he heard, it seemed to lack discernment to share that with you without first doing the work of pursuing you for courtship. It's like he tried to do an end run around the appropriate process of winning your heart. He wants the reward without the work. If you're going to have a change of heart toward him, it won't be because he tells you that you should.
That said, there's certainly no harm in asking God to show you if you should be open to this man as a potential suitor. I'd also ask God in prayer to show you if the way the young man handled his "revelation" was proof enough that he's certainly not the right one and turn and go the other direction with due haste!
This isn't a unique phenomenon. I've heard several similar stories over the years, from both women and men. One reader told me how she heard from God that He was preparing her to be a certain man's wife. The only problem is that God apparently never told the man. He never pursued her as a girlfriend and eventually married another woman. Whether God speaks to us in prayer or in dreams — another common way people think they've heard from God about whom they should marry — I think the principle for both men and women is that when God is preparing to bring two believers together in marriage, He reveals that to both parties.
It's possible, even likely, He will reveal it to each one at different times, but at some point in the process, both man and woman need to be convinced God is leading them toward the other. It's not enough for one side to say God is doing so. Marriage is too important to make the decision based only on the testimony of another without sharing that same conviction. Even David, God's anointed, asked the wise and beautiful Abigail to be his wife. (If anyone was privy to direct revelations from God, it was surely God's anointed.) She agreed with dignity and humility, replying, "Here is your maidservant, ready to serve you and wash the feet of my master's servants."
I pray God will give you discernment about this and all opportunities you have for courtship toward marriage, and that He will inspire you to pray boldly for your future mate.
Sincerely,
CANDICE WATTERS
Source: Boundless
A guy whom I previously decided not to date told me recently that he feels I am the one God wants him to marry. I am a bit confused and bothered because I do not share this "revelation" at all. It seems to me that he is a bit immature in telling me this. His immaturity was exactly the reason why I decided not to start a relationship with him.
He definitely does not fit the "type" I have had in mind, but I would like to follow God's will. How do I know if this is God's will? How should I pray?
REPLY
I think it would be freaky to have a man you're not attracted to suddenly drop that "revelation" on you. My first thought is that this guy's approach is evidence not of God's revelation, but of manipulation. I suspect it made you even less inclined to spend any time with him. Whether he realizes it, his approach has had the opposite effect of what he intended.
I agree with my mentor who said, "God will not reveal to one person and not the other." I would add, especially about something so critical as whom you decide to marry. What we know God has revealed, she said, "is that we are to pray for peace. In the absence of peace, you can be confident that this is not God's will."
Even if God did tell this guy what he thinks he heard, it seemed to lack discernment to share that with you without first doing the work of pursuing you for courtship. It's like he tried to do an end run around the appropriate process of winning your heart. He wants the reward without the work. If you're going to have a change of heart toward him, it won't be because he tells you that you should.
That said, there's certainly no harm in asking God to show you if you should be open to this man as a potential suitor. I'd also ask God in prayer to show you if the way the young man handled his "revelation" was proof enough that he's certainly not the right one and turn and go the other direction with due haste!
This isn't a unique phenomenon. I've heard several similar stories over the years, from both women and men. One reader told me how she heard from God that He was preparing her to be a certain man's wife. The only problem is that God apparently never told the man. He never pursued her as a girlfriend and eventually married another woman. Whether God speaks to us in prayer or in dreams — another common way people think they've heard from God about whom they should marry — I think the principle for both men and women is that when God is preparing to bring two believers together in marriage, He reveals that to both parties.
It's possible, even likely, He will reveal it to each one at different times, but at some point in the process, both man and woman need to be convinced God is leading them toward the other. It's not enough for one side to say God is doing so. Marriage is too important to make the decision based only on the testimony of another without sharing that same conviction. Even David, God's anointed, asked the wise and beautiful Abigail to be his wife. (If anyone was privy to direct revelations from God, it was surely God's anointed.) She agreed with dignity and humility, replying, "Here is your maidservant, ready to serve you and wash the feet of my master's servants."
I pray God will give you discernment about this and all opportunities you have for courtship toward marriage, and that He will inspire you to pray boldly for your future mate.
Sincerely,
CANDICE WATTERS
Source: Boundless
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)