Courage to Feel

(by Barb Erochina)

Recently I watched a friend go through three weeks of migraines, numerous doctor’s visits and a CT scan. Her final diagnosis was stress-induced acute migraines. She had been experiencing major life changes and instead of working through the fear and anxiety that she felt, she repressed her feelings and tried to ignore them. Though for many people migraines are due to other factors, hers were undeniably caused by neglected worries. Her body reacted to the stress and her wellbeing decreased dramatically.

Medical research has long proven that our emotional state has a great impact on our physical body. Stress or repressed emotions are common causes of headaches, ulcers and back and neck problems. Many people who suffer from these do so because they refuse to deal with their feelings. In these cases, feelings have become a greater source of discomfort than health problems. Why would so many of us rather get physically sick than face our emotions head on?

A cultural misconception
Emotions are not held in high esteem in today’s culture. To get called “emotional” is never a compliment. Only a minimal level of feelings is considered appropriate in most situations and often these standards are unrealistic and repressive. Consider how often we are told that men should not cry, even though this is simply not true.

Even children are brought up with an understanding that emotions are useless. The saying “There is no use of crying over spilled milk” is a common colloquialism but ingrains the attitude that an emotional response to a negative occurrence is somehow inappropriate.

In contrast, self-control is held highly as a societal value. We’re taught that to allow oneself to feel something means being controlled by the emotion resulting in a loss of self-control. However, the opposite is true. Avoiding feelings sets us on a rat race where we become driven and controlled by the process of trying to avoid those same feelings. It takes courage to allow ourselves to feel.

Ignoring our emotions can leave us numb and unable to feel anything. Too often, we treat our emotional health as if it is a series of controls on a CD player. There is an assumption that we can control any one emotion separately from the rest in the same way that we can individually alter the bass or treble on our stereos. However, our emotional core functions more as an overall volume control. Reigning in any one emotion means the limiting of all of our emotions. Over time, denying any one emotion such as anger or sadness can reduce our ability to experience every other emotion including as joy and contentment.

Reasons to feel
We must stop being afraid of our feelings, and instead learn to use them for all of their benefits.

Feelings live where dreams are born and it is these dreams that fuel passion. When we work up the courage to face our feelings, including those of fear or sadness, dreams can emerge that will actually help us work through the feelings and get past them.

Our feelings act as a thermometer to judge whether the environment we are in is healthy for us. Knowing what we’re feeling allows for good self-care. If we are in a situation that is nerve-wrecking but we do not want to face that it makes us anxious, it is likely that the tension will only escalate. However, if we can accept that the situation makes us uncomfortable, we are then free to see how it can be altered or what questions must be resolved in order for the anxiety to diminish.

Feelings can serve as a great resource of guidance. They allow for self- awareness that speaks to us of long forgotten desires, dreams and ambitions. Change is a common trigger that causes people to run from feeling their emotions, especially during times of big decisions, life transitions or tragedy. Because these times are filled with uncertainty, it is good to be aware of how we are feeling about the circumstances set before us. The process of working through your emotions taps into the part of you that seeks and knows truth.

Feelings can grow our sense of self- worth. When we take the time to deal with our feelings, we are being intentional in saying “I matter!”

Once we can understand all the ways in which our feelings are good and purposeful, we can begin to stop being afraid of them. We have feelings because we were created with them. Our emotional makeup reflects God’s nature.

God created us to be holistic human beings, not one-dimensional robots who go about accomplishing one task or another. Our satisfaction and well-being are affected immensely by our emotional well-being because the emotional part of us rests at the core of how we are wired. It determines how we respond to others, as well as to the situations we find ourselves in.

We can see our emotional core reflected in God himself when we look at Christ. Jesus was both fully God and fully human. This means he was perfect but was also not afraid to feel. He wept for Jerusalem and Lazarus, angered at the disrespectful treatment of God’s temple and was overjoyed at the sight of children desiring to play with him.

God gave us our emotions, and therefore accepts us with them. He desires us to come to Him just as we are, without putting up any sort of well-composed front. God is the only one who accepts us truly as we are, without requiring anything else of us than just to be in relationship with him.

It is here that Jesus’ death was a necessary sacrifice on God’s behalf. We as broken and sinful human beings cannot be reconciled to God unless the sin that separates from Him is moved out of the way. Jesus, God’s son, both lived and sacrificed his perfect life on our behalf to take away our sin. All that is left up to us is to acknowledge that it is Christ’s gift that allows us to come to God, and to ask God to take the lead in our lives.

Source: christian women today