Friday, August 6, 2010

Jesus ... Single Like Me: He Knows What It Feels Like to Be Alone

Jesus lived his life as a single adult till his death. Because he lived his life as a single adult, he understands every aspect of what you and I are experiencing today. This seriesexamines the "singleness" of Christ in relation to our singleness with the hope you will be encouraged to walk this journey you have been given. A journey that not only leads to the cross for our salvation but to his resurrection for our future.

Jesus Knew What It Felt Like to Be Alone?

I have tried and spent most of my life trying to do everything myself. I am the oldest of three younger brothers. When I was young, I had a father who was rarely home. So from an early age, I took on the responsibility of taking care of myself not to mention my brothers. Starting at the age of 8 I had a paper route plus other ways to make money. Not because it's good for kids to earn money, etc. but because I felt I had to, to take care of myself. This led to a pattern of self-reliance. Sure, my mom was there but she was very busy having to take care of everything in the home. She slowly designated certain activities to me as a way to help her. I quickly learned to do a lot of things on my own. I knew down deep my basic needs would be met; however if I wanted anything else, I would have to find a way to get it myself.

My parents' eventual divorce only led to even more self-reliance, a journey that led toward feeling isolated. Even though my mom remarried a wonderful man, a man who brought a sense of safety into our home, I had already learned to take care of myself. I felt no one understood me. No one could really relate. No one could meet my expectations, including myself sometimes.

This need to control my life, to take care of myself, was out of fear, fear of being alone. I wanted to be safe and know it would all be okay. I wanted someone else to take care of me for a change. I wanted to stop having to work so hard. I stayed weary in the fight to take care of myself. The more years that passed, the more alone I felt. Every time I had to attend another friend's wedding or get a birth announcement or hear about their move up the corporate ladder, it only emphasized my feelings of being alone. No one was there to help. No one could truly understand my pain. No one was there to take the load off. So I learned to carry the load, that is, until I met Jesus.

Jesus understood what it was like to carry a heavy load. Jesus was also the first born in his family. I am sure he remembers the responsibility of taking care of his siblings, helping his parents, etc. not to mention learning a trade to help support his family. The long days of hearing his siblings cry or fuss, or his mother too tired to clean up the dishes, or his father so busy with work that he had to do some of it to help out. Jesus probably felt like I did as a child that things didn't always seem fair. Because he was fully human, I am sure he also felt alone.

Jesus' understanding of being alone continued into his adult life. Jesus started his public ministry with the huge task of calling his disciples. These were men who time after time abandoned Jesus. (Luke 22:4-46). Not because they meant to hurt him, but because they were human. Most of us think of our own needs first. Due to our selfishness, we forget others who are lonely, hurting and need Jesus. Jesus had a huge task of teaching these men (and the many who followed) who he was and why he was here. He taught them a lifetime of knowledge so they would continue his ministry. What a burden on Jesus! So much to do in so little time. So much to do with men who at times forgot who he really was and why he was here. Jesus, I am sure, at times felt like no one was getting it. Was he alone in this battle, this journey? Would these people EVER get it? Do we get it?

Jesus spent the last years of his life, doing whatever it took to get us to understand who he is. That he died for us. That he knows the incredible burden we feel. He may have at times felt alone, not due to him but due to his disciples (even due to us today), but he was NEVER alone. He totally relied on God for all things. He knew from the beginning that without total reliance on God, life would not have purpose. Christ came—ready to take on our load, our burden, and our sins, so that in doing this we would never be alone. Our total dependence on Christ means that you are not alone.

So okay, I hear you Lord. I know I need to depend on you and not me. I know you died for me. I know you said to bring all my burdens to you, all who are heavy laden (Matthew 11:28).

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." This sounds good, Lord. But how can I just give it all to you when I am so used to doing it all myself? How can I trust you? I mean, Lord, do you truly understand how I feel? I am afraid, Lord. I am afraid you will abandon me like some of my friends and family. So, you see, it's just easier to keep doing it all myself. Then I know it will get done. Then I can control the pain, the hurt and rejection."

Then Christ stretched out his hands, and looked into my heart, and whispered," I did this for you, Kris. You don't have to do it anymore. I won't ever leave you. I will never stop loving you. You are so beautiful. I made you. I made you to depend on me. I made you for a relationship with me. Again Kris, you don't have to do it anymore." Then I heard, "kerplunk." That was my load; it's gone. "But Lord, I, I, I ..." "Kris, it's all going to be okay."

Jesus, as a single, as a human, as my Savior understands what feeling alone is all about. The devil tries to make us feel that WE ARE alone. But you have to keep reminding him of the truth. We ARE NOT alone. So every time you begin to feel isolated, misunderstood, and even frustrated, carry it to God. Lean on him for all things. Tell him what is going on in your life. The world can sometimes make you feel like you are alone. Maybe it's due to the truth or a lie, but no matter what we can be assured we are not alone. We have the Lord, our Savior. Thank you, Jesus.

Questions for Discussion or Personal Exploration:

1. When you were young, did you ever feel alone?

2. As an adult, do you ever feel alone? How?

3. What are some positives and negatives of being alone?

4. Read and discuss John 16:32.

5. Read and discuss Matthew 9:2-13.

6. Read and discuss John 8:29.

7. Read and discuss 1 Timothy 5:5.

8. Read and discuss Matthew 28:20.

Application:

Start today to pray and ask the Lord to reveal his truth to you. What in your life are you not giving over to him? What are you still trying to carry yourself? Does carrying this burden create more isolation in your life? He is there, waiting to give it all to him, waiting for your total reliance on him. Waiting to lead you in victory. Can you hear him whisper?

Source: Crosswalk

Thursday, October 29, 2009

It's Going To Be Ok. Keep On Going!

The major difference between average people and achieving people is their perspective of and response to failure. In other words, how I see failure going in, how I respond to failure coming out. Now, we want learn three lesson about it!



Lesson no 1
I have also discovered about failure and problems that our perspective changes tremendously if it is someone else's problem with failure, versus my problem for failure. It's the old joke, major surgery, minor surgery. You know minor surgery is when it's on you and major surgery is when it's on me.
My dad loves to tell this joke about two men who were talking. 


One guy says, "I lost my job."
The other guy says, "Well, it could be worse."

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Enjoying the Earth without Loving the World

by Gary Thomas
Taken from Boundless

Quick question: Do you consider the world to be a mother or a prostitute?

I'm serious.

Do you see the world God created as a giant temptress, waiting to lure us away from true faith and devotion, or do you see it as a mother who nurtures our faith and disciplines us toward pure devotion and abundant life?

There's a "catch" behind my question, of course. The Bible presents the world in both lights. Various passages warn about the world's allure, while other passages celebrate its abundance and goodness. The great question is how do we reconcile these two apparently opposing viewpoints?

Unfortunately, many traditions focus on one in exclusion to the other. Most often, we choose the negative: The world is a threat, a menace, a temptress. Such traditions deeply suspect any enjoyment in this world and seriously undercut the beauty and goodness of God's creation. They speak as if our job as imprisoned souls is to deny any sensual experience of any kind — and certainly any pleasurable sensual experience — lest we lose our appetite for prayer, worship and Bible study.

Recent traditions of Christianity have had, in my view, a very slanted and negative view of the world, in a way that injures our souls, opposes abundant life, and dishonors the God who created a wonderful place for us to live.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Stop trying To Fix People

You know what our monstrous mistake is?
We try to fix the people in our life.
Oh, I see it everywhere.
Everywhere I go, I see people complain about the people in their life.

Wives complain about their husbands.
“Bo, please talk to my husband. He eats too much.”
“Bo, can you help me? My husband watches too much TV.”
One frustrated wife told me, “Bo, please advice my husband. He doesn’t have a one romantic bone in his body. Last year, he gave me a bar of soap for Valentines Day. The brand? Mr. Clean.”

But husbands complain about their wives too.
“Bo, please talk to my wife. She’s gastadora.”
“Bo, help me with my wife. My wife is always hysterical and historical. She remembers all my past mistakes, including date, time, and place.”
One husband told me, “My wife is so talkative. If the universe paid 1 centavo for every word she said, I’ll be the richest man in the world today.”
Another man said, “My wife is always angry. When she’s angry, she causes global warming and the melting of the ice caps in the North Pole.”

Are You Malnourished for Love?

        
Today, I start a new 7-week series entitled Relationships Reborn.
Here’s why you need to take this series with me: I believe that if you change your relationships, you change your life.
Because if you squeeze out the essence of life, you realize that life is all about relationships. Your happiness, your success, your health, and your dreams depend on relationships. Give me a person with very happy relationships and I’ll show you a very happy person. Give me a person with miserable, dysfunctional relationships and I’ll show you a very miserable person.
I’m going to spill the beans here and tell you the central message of the next seven weeks: Relationships need renewal or they die.
In fact, not only the relationship will die, but a part of us will die. Why? Because you have a Heart Wound that can only be healed by love—a love that can only be found in relationships.
So you want to change your life, keep reading.

Are You Malnourished For Love?
      
Have you ever seen a malnourished child?
I believe you have—you just didn’t know.
Here’s the problem: When you hear the word “malnourished,” you automatically think of the starving kids in Africa you see in pictures. A child living in a famine-stricken dessert that has absolutely nothing to eat.
But there’s a second type.
The person could be your next door neighbor. He doesn’t look malnourished. He could even be fat. And yet, amazingly, he is malnourished.
Because he’s eating the wrong type of food.

Let me stoke your imagination....

Friday, September 18, 2009

Sweetest Memory

When I thought about what is the sweetest memory in my childhood, I instantly remember about my grandpa (in memoriam)... It's not that the others (my mom, dad and grandma) didn't love me well, it's just that my grandpa left such a sweet and unforgettable memory in this little girl's mind.

He is the one who picked me up from school when I was in first grades of primary school.
He is the one who read me English fairy tale books and translated them, lately I realized maybe it has triggered my interest in English :)
He is the one who accompanied me singing songs from my Sunday school (literally, he sang together with me), sometimes he mimicked me singing :).
Sometimes he accompany me when I have to stay late at night to study for tomorrow's exam.
I saw him treated my grandma so good... I have once wished I wanted to have a husband like him in the future...

Sometimes I wish he is still here on earth... I miss him...
At least he had become a right man figure to me
Guess I will have a husband with good traits like him :)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Men: Lust-Driven Beasts?

DEAR BOUNDLESS ANSWERS

I have a couple of questions about sex. Actually, a couple questions regarding what I commonly hear about sex from Christians. I'm a 24 year old man and I'm not married. I'm a virgin, so the only things I know about sex (other than the biological/mechanical aspects) are what I've heard other Christians tell me. I hope to be married someday. What I talk about here is always with that in mind.

Everywhere, without exception, I have been told that when it comes to love, men are interested in sex and women are interested in romance. That men are visual and women relational. That is the more balanced view found in various books.

The view that I hear from the people all around me is that men are lust-driven beasts interested only in women's bodies, and women are pure-minded and are interested in forging interpersonal connections and building intimate attachments.

First, about man's desire for sex.

As only one being, I cannot refute the stereotype of men that I commonly hear. However, I CAN and DO refute it being applicable to me. I am NOT JUST a lust driven beast only interested in a woman's body. I DO want to have a close emotional attachment to one woman (if the Lord chooses to bless me with a wife). I DO want to be an intimate confidant with her. I would love the chance to practice romance. However, I also want a wife "to have and to hold." Does this last part mean that I'm still a lust-driven beast, but just domesticated a little?

About Dreaming

Dreams: are they just a lust of our mind or are they really exist and need to be fulfilled?
I don't get it... (-_-")

Lately I'm dreaming of traveling abroad... This is a bit weird, considering that I have never wished that I would go abroad in the past, at all... I was just content with my city and my country, while some people I know really want to go abroad for vacation. But now I feel the same desire (-_-")

Sometimes I still don't understand, are certain dreams really need to be fulfilled (we must strive and try everything legal to pursue them) or they are just merely temporary lusts? Yes, lust... 'Cause they might be born in our mind out of a boredom, or just as an expression of our deepest wish to be "free"? Free from everyday routines and tasks... to refresh our mind and soul, to feel and experience the new environment, meet new people, learn new culture... even if it's just for a while...

I guess that maybe sometimes people need to add new vocabularies to the brain, fresh perspectives, to refresh our "human library"... to feed our thirst of new knowledge...

...at least that's the way I feel...

But unfortunately, not everyone can get their dreams to go traveling... They stumbled upon the costs, their family, their current job, all things that make their dreams harder to reach.

Then I think... if our life is not about us but about God (because we are His possession), I'm questioning are those kind of dreams worth to be pursued?

Certainly, if I think about the wholeness of life, like it is written in Ecclesiastes, everything is meaningless... it's true. 'Cause no matter how much we can get, no matter how great is our pride, no matter how many places we can visit and "conqueror", anything you name it... at the end, they will be all meaningless... because our true life is not meant for this temporary world, but later, in the eternity (Ecclesiastes 3:11)... That's why we can never be satisfied with the earthly things...

But another perspective, through all the process to achieve and experience our dreams, we can learn about His love, His almighty power, we can learn how to relate with God and also with other people the right way... Isn't that what God wants us to experience? Isn't that what God's goal for us to achieve? He wants us to be more alike with Him and also make every people His disciples. How we can fulfill God's goal in our life? By relating with God and others...

...and traveling is just one way among so many other ways...

Hmmm... I wish I can go travel to everywhere someday... not for the sake of traveling itself, but for a deeper purpose...

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Memories

I thought I've had enough of you
Thought I wouldn't be missing you this much
Yes... you...
The ones dancing around in my mind

Time had taken me away from you
And everytime I remember you
The warmth of love and the little things that had happened
Make me want to re-write the past once again

I thought I've forgotten about you
Thought you had dumped in the garbage
Yes... you...
The ones leaving scar in my heart

Time had taken me away from you
And how I want to leave you right there
But you just can't...
Because you're also part of my journey

All of you...
You made me learn about love
You made me learn about forgiving
You made me see my God within my previous foot prints

Sweet...
Bitter...
It doesn't really matter anyway...

N-O R-E-G-R-E-T
'cause I know that He was with me along the way

It's the one that truly matters...

(by Fay)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Only Hope - My Prayer Now

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But You sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only Yours, I pray, to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only Yours, I pray, to be only Yours
I know now, You're my only hope.

I give You my destiny.
I'm giving You all of me.
I want Your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only Yours, I pray, to be only Yours
I pray, to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Winners Never Quit???

(By Dan Miller)

We’ve all heard the old adage, “Winners never quit, quitters never win.” Is that really true? Does that mean that if you’re driving from Detroit to Miami and you suddenly realize you’re actually headed for Savannah you would simply continue on? Or even speed up? Or just “try harder?” Of course not – you would immediately correct your direction, even if it meant going back to Atlanta to get back on the right road.

Why is it that in jobs or businesses people often believe that if they just persist, somehow things will get better? And that they need to be loyal and never show signs of “giving up?”

In this week’s 48 Days Podcast I answered this question from Margaret:
“I would like to know what to do when you are working so hard and everything seems to continue to fail. Do you change plans or what?”

I QUIT

Quitting a job does not mean that you’re quitting your commitment to provide for your family. Quitting a business does not mean that you are walking away from the thrill of controlling your time and income. Quitting a ministry or non-profit organization does not mean that you’ve given up on your desire to change the world or help the less fortunate.

Your job, business or ministry are just tactics to accomplish your bigger vision. Your “purpose” or “calling” define the big goal. If your job is clearly a dead end, it makes perfect sense to quit, take your skills to a better fit and release your ability to provide for your family. If your business is failing, learn from the experience and start in a new direction. I constantly have areas in my business and personal life that are on the bubble. If they are not proven successful in a very specific period of time – they’re gone – I quit but keep moving on to success in other ways.

Here are my recommendations:

* If your job provides nothing for you but a meager paycheck, plan to quit and be gone in the next 30 days.
* If you have been running your business for one year and after expenses it’s only netting you $500 a month, quit and find a new venture.
* If you started a non-profit and after two years you find that you are spending 80% of your time on administrative work and have no real economic model for continuing, consider linking arms with an established organization.

Winners quit – they quit quickly and often.
Yes I know we hear that quote about nothing matters but persistence, but if you are a duck trying to climb a tree, all persistence will get you is web feet that are to sore to even swim well. Have the maturity and guts to quit the ineffective things in your life.

While we’re at it, ask yourself if these well-known adages are always true:

1. The customer is always right
2. Everything happens for a reason
3. Never judge a book by its cover
4. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks
5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
6. Better be safe than sorry
7. Good fences make good neighbors
8. You can’t have your cake and eat it too

Don’t let commonly accepted clichés misdirect you from the unique path you are on.


PS: What do you think about this?
Because I've been thinking of this lately... about quitting my meaningless job and really work on something suits my passion and my skills...

Life Support

(by Brenna Kate Simonds - Boundless)

One afternoon, I thought, "I think I'm bored." Then I thought, "Is that really possible — being the mom of a very active toddler?" Then I thought maybe I was depressed. After sitting down and having a good cry, I figured out what I was actually feeling.

I was lonely.

I had recently had a miscarriage. If you had asked me a month before that loss if I had a good support system, friends I could call if I needed something, I would have absolutely said yes.

But having the miscarriage changed something. I had plenty of people who e-mailed me after the miscarriage to say they were available if I needed anything, or that they had been through something similar. I did follow up with two of these people and tried to connect, but that never happened.

Maybe it was pride, or shame, or just plain grief, but I couldn't seem to reach out to others.

I think everyone struggles with disconnect. It seems to have gotten worse now that you don't have to pick up the phone, write a letter or make a coffee date to connect with someone. The age of message boards, e-mail and Facebook gives me this false sense of security, that I have all these friends and I know what's going on with them and they know what's going on with me — people I rarely or never see for any kind of "face-to-face" interaction.

I've come to realize that's not what Jesus had in mind when He talked about sharing life with other believers.

The tragedy of the miscarriage sent me in search of what it looks like to have a sufficient support system in one's life, as well as what some of the obstacles to that are. This is something I had been thinking about for a long time in the ministry I do with those dealing with sexual brokenness. We are constantly emphasizing the need to be connected with other Christians, specifically as we grow in our faith.

One day, a ministry participant asked me point-blank, "So how do I make friends? How exactly can I get connected?" To those of you who have experienced the disconnect and loneliness that I just shared, you already know it's a more challenging question than it initially appears to be. So I set out to practice what I preached and find some tangible ways to connect.

Even before Facebook, our society for quite some time has tended to breed isolation, independence and individualism. In my curiosity to discover the origin of this disconnect, I came across an anthropology book that studied familial trends in the United States. The anthropologist concluded:

A pervasive theme of American child-rearing ideology is independence, which can be considered under three headings: separateness, self-sufficiency, and self-confidence. The emphasis on separateness begins at birth among middle-class Americans, with the allocation of a separate room to the neonate, requiring him to sleep in his own bed removed from others in the family.

The author goes on to say,

Parents begin to emphasize sharing only after the child has become habituated to eating, sleeping and being comforted alone, on his own terms, and with his own properties — which he has become reluctant to give up. (From Childhood Socialization: Comparative Studies of Parenting, Learning and Educational Change by Robert A. LeVine)

It's no wonder we struggle to connect! To admit we might need others is seen as weak. Pick yourself up by your boot straps, take the bull by the horns, pull yourself together — all of these clichés reinforce the belief that we need to take care of and fix ourselves.

This train of thought breaks down when the rubber hits the road, and can result not only in loneliness and frustration as we try to meet all our own needs, but also in increased illness. In the Alameda County Study, researchers followed 7,000 people over the course of nine years. The most isolated people were three times more likely to die than those with strong relational connections. Three times!

Another study was done where 276 people were infected with a virus that produces the common cold. People with strong emotional connections did four times better fighting off illness than those who were more isolated. As one of my favorite speakers, Sy Rogers, would say: "True for the body, true for the soul." How we work biologically can be a direct analogy to how we work emotionally, relationally and spiritually.

There have been many times when being in relationship with others has positively changed me. I think of my first Bible study leader. The first time we met for lunch, I told her everything about me — my struggles with same-sex attractions, self-injury, disordered eating, and so on. I fully expected her to be disgusted and run out of the restaurant. But she did exactly the opposite. She lovingly welcomed me not only to Bible study, but also into her life. Through her, I learned that I could truly love a woman, be in close friendship with her and not be tempted to be in a sexual relationship with her.

I think of my therapist of three years. She continually reminded me of who I was in Christ, and gently challenged my faulty ways of thinking. My friend Judy taught me how to really experience the depth of grace.

I need people. Think of Jesus. In a mystery we can't completely understand, He was fully God and fully man, with all the power and knowledge of God, and with all the needs and temptations that we have. Yet there were times when He specifically requested that the disciples, and in particular John, James and Peter, accompany Him somewhere, pray with Him, just be with Him. If He needed people, then I certainly need people.

So we know we need to be connected. How do we get connected?

Remember that no one is normal. Normal is a setting on the dryer. It's a hair type or a skin type at the drug store. I used to be afraid of people who appeared to be "normal"; I was sure they wouldn't be able to relate to any of my weird, "out there" problems.

Then I realized when actually getting to know some people I thought were "normal," that everyone has something they'd prefer to hide. After all, people in the Bible aren't "normal" either. I'm fairly certain that even those who managed to not slip up too bad were not viewed as "normal" in their day. Truly connecting is accepting people "as is," as they come, and asking them to do the same.

Meet people in groups

Imagining walking up to someone and asking them to hang out can be intimidating, even to this extrovert. Soon after the miscarriage, my husband and I joined a small group, with toddler in tow. It was one married couple, singles who were recent college graduates, and one older woman, and us. They were very accommodating of us and our child.

I also started having moms groups in my home. I went through my e-mail address book, and invited every woman who was a mom, no matter what her age. I also helped organize a gathering of moms from my online moms group.

Maybe your church has some small groups based on common interests. If not, you could start one. Meeting people in groups helps me to get a feel for different people. I'm drawn to people who are honest, who don't worry about what other people might think, who seem comfortable in their own skin.

In groups, we can look for people who are healthily vulnerable. Jesus was transparent, but there was a level of transparency He reserved only for certain people in His life. Not everyone needs to know all our business, but a few people need to know most of it. Find people who are not afraid to be weak, who talk about sin and struggle in an honest and redemptive way.

Make relationships top priority

As I tried to reach out after the miscarriage, I found that people, myself included, really struggle with living a life where trying to have coffee with a friend doesn't requires planning three months in advance. If I really want to connect with people, I need to make room in my life and my schedule for them.

This is an increasing challenge with every life change. In college, it's easier to connect because you live and study with the same people every day. Then you graduate and have to be more even more purposeful about finding time to connect. Then add marriage and family to the mix, and it gets even crazier.

My husband and I have had to get more creative in connecting. We try to invite people over for meals. Eating is something we have to do anyway. Don't be afraid to use your imagination when trying to make relationships top priority.

I need more than a single best friend

After the miscarriage, I realized that of the three people I considered to be my closest friends, only one lived within a reasonable distance from me. In their book Boundaries, Cloud and Townsend write,

We all need more than God and a best friend. We need a group of supportive relationships. The reason is simple: Having more than one person in our lives allows our friends to be human. To be busy. To be unavailable at times. To hurt and have problems of their own. To have time alone.

Jesus had 12 good friends, His Apostles, but He also had three intimate friends whom He took with Him certain places, such as the transfiguration, and the raising to life of the dead girl in Mark 5. At the Garden of Gethsemane, He had the nine other disciples sit at a distance while Peter, John and James went further into the garden with Him.

Be realistic

Friendships take time, and they take work. Disagreements are an ordinary part of relating, and yet people tend to run at the first sign of conflict. I recently heard a pastor say, "If you agree with someone 100 percent of the time, one of you is unnecessary." I've found I need my friendships to be secure and valuable enough to be worth the discomfort of honesty and disagreement.

Even Jesus' intimate friends displayed human failings, such as Peter denying he even knew Jesus. Jesus was patient, and Jesus forgave. He expected His friend to be human, and humans make mistakes.

John 10:10 says "the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I have a real enemy, whose purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. It's interesting to me that part of his first assignment was to break the perfect relationship that Adam and Eve had, not only with God, but with each other.

The enemy doesn't want me to have real relationships. Within a few days of having two moms groups at my home, my son got horribly sick for two weeks, probably a bug he picked up from one of the kids who came over. The enemy tried to discourage me with thoughts like, "That's what you get for having all those germs in your home!" That's when I need to start praying. I remind myself that in this age of false connections and pseudo friendships, I've yet to meet someone who doesn't struggle with finding solid, meaningful friendships.

Relationships take risks, they take time, but I need them in order to thrive. Following Jesus' example gives me courage to persevere in pursuing the kinds of relationships that Jesus had.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

What Kind of Daddy Do You Have?

(by Bo Sanchez)

A college student in Manila called up his Mom in the province.
“Mom, I need money,” he asked. “Can you send money over please?”
“Sure,” the mother said. “By the way, there’s a Math textbook you left here at home. I’ll send it over with the money.”
“Uh, oh yeah, Ok,” her son answered.
His mother sent the money and the book.

Later that day, the father asked his wife, “How much money did you send?”
She said, “I sent two checks. One was a P1000 check and the other was a P100,000 check.”
“What?” cried the father in shock. “That’s huge!”
His wife smiled. “That’s okay Honey. I taped the P1000 check on the cover of his Math textbook. I then inserted the P100,000 check somewhere in chapter 25 of his Math textbook. Believe me, he won’t find it.”

Your relationship with God is like a Math textbook. Because I believe the biggest blessings of God for your life are in “chapter 25” - when you go beyond the surface and go deeper in this relationship with God.

My goal today is to bring you to chapter 25 in your relationship with God.
Let me tell you how.
I want to start a new series today I’ll playfully call, OMG! If you don’t know what that means, LOL. (For those my age who didn’t grow up with chat and IM and facebook: OMG! means Oh my God and LOL means Laugh out loud.) For the next five weeks, I want to help you get to know God more—which will deepen your trust in Him. And the more you trust Him, the more you’ll be open to His blessings for your life.

I’ve met a lot of people who don’t trust God because they don’t know Him. They’re confused with misrepresentations of who God is.
Here’s what I learned: Your problems are big because your God is small.

Before Anything Else, God Is Daddy

I just arrived from the US the other day.
It was my shortest trip ever: Four days!
But I had to do it.
I was there to meet a very special man who was a spiritual mentor to Presidents, Kings, Prime Ministers, and other heads of government. In other words, he disciples them to follow Jesus. He’s awesome.

This spiritual giant has been working in the United Nations for the past 25 years. Each month, he holds 30+ face-to-face meetings with heads of government, ambassadors, and other high-level officials, guiding them how to lead their country using the Bible. So for three whole days, I sat around his table (we were just four students—myself, two bishops, and a secretary general) to learn one thing: How to disciple Heads of States. It was mind-blowing.

So on my way back, I felt very important too.
I mean, how couldn’t I?
I spent three days with a guy who takes phone calls from Presidents and Prime Ministers before he has breakfast. How cool is that?

But the moment my plane landed in Manila, everything became clear to me. I knew the first Heads of States I would meet. That entire day, upon arriving from the airport, I spent time with the two Kings who’ve conquered my heart since I saw them: My two boys—ages 9 and 4.

Together, we did very high-level, critical, world-changing, life-altering work.
We drew robots and airplanes.
We played with little cars.
We played a video game (I lost, as usual).
We jumped around the coach.

Why did I spend the entire day with them?
Because I believe that before I’m a preacher, writer, leader, missionary, and businessman, I’m a father.

And I suspect that God will say the same thing. This is just my personal opinion. I think before God is supreme judge and king of kings of the entire universe, He’s a Father. That’s why when someone asked Jesus, “Teach us how to pray,” He answered, “Say this: Our Father…”

The original word that Jesus used for “Father” is Abba, which doesn’t really translate to Father but Daddy or Papa. It was what a little baby would call his father.

But as I played with my boys yesterday, I began to think of all the other children who don’t experience what they experience. And I believe that one of the reasons why we don’t know God as Father is because of the wrong fatherhood we’ve experienced. Specifically, I thought of four of my friends: Emmanuel, Grace, Dulce, and Fides. I’ve changed their names to protect their privacy. But unfortunately, their stories are true.

Invisible Fathers

My friend Emmanuel’s father was a lawyer. Later on, he became a judge and was promoted all the way to the Supreme Court. Emmanuel was proud of his father. But when our conversations became intimate, he’d tear up, and tell me that he rarely saw his father. When he woke up, his father was rushing out for his breakfast meetings. In the evenings, his father wasn’t home yet.

Emmanuel grew up knowing his father was an important man doing very important things. But as he grew up, he realized he wasn’t one of these important things his father did. Years later, Emmanuel came to know God in a personal way. Yet for years, he wondered how important he really was in God’s heart.

Autistic Fathers

Some fathers are physically present at home.
But they don’t engage their kids.
Instead, they’re wrapped up in their own world. Either watching TV or surfing the web. That’s why I call them autistic fathers.

Many years ago, I met Grace. She told me that as a child, her goal in life was to make her father smile at her. Because he never did. Oh, she would find him laughing with his barkada. But never to her.

One day, she came home with very high grades on her report card. In her heart, she hoped that perhaps today, he would smile at her. But when she gave him the report card, all her father did was look at it for two seconds, grunt, tossed it back, and went back watching TV.
Not one word of affirmation or appreciation.
Her little heart was crushed.

For years, Grace had a hard time imagining that God was pleased with her. She always imagined God having a perpetual frown on his face.

Cruel Fathers

Dulce’s father is the most barbaric father I’ve ever heard of in my life.
When she was 3 years old, he raped her.

Years later, she always had this nightmare of her head being pushed into a toilet bowl. She realized why. Because her father warned her not to tell anyone of the rape or he’d drown her in the toilet.

For the next ten years, for the slightest mistakes (such as a spilled glass of milk), her father would whip her with his belt until blood flowed. When he was lashing her, her mother would tell him, “Don’t hit her below the knees!” So that the wounds would be covered by her skirt.

He would then grab her ankles, hang her upside down, and bang her head on the floor. He would do this for thirty minutes until she stopped crying and was a lifeless rag in his hands. He would do this each week for ten long years.

Here’s the absurd fact of this story: Until the day he died, her father was an elder and deacon in church. To everyone else, he was an angel. Upon arriving home, he was the devil incarnate - and no one knew.

Dulce is now an adult but suffers massive physical, emotional, and spiritual torments. She has gone through 9 surgeries in various parts of her body. Her doctors discovered micro-strokes in her brain, caused by the head banging she suffered as a child. But her emotional pain was even more severe than her physical pain.

I’m happy to say that Dulce enjoys an intimate relationship with God. God has healed and continues to heal her. But it took years of healing and learning to trust a tender loving Father.

Unfaithful Father

Fides was still a small child when she saw her father walk out of their house carrying his suitcase. At that time, she didn’t know that he was abandoning her, her mother, and her two brothers for another woman.

Unlike her brothers who rebelled and got into drugs, Fides became even more obedient. She became even more responsible. Her school grades shot to the moon. Everyone praised her for being such a good girl.

Later on, Fides realized she blamed herself for the separation of her parents. Inexplicably, she believed that if she were only a better girl, her father would have never left. And for years, she secretly hoped that if she became that better girl, perhaps her father would come back.

For years, Fides’ relationship with God was also about buying His love. She would always try to be good to try to please Him—so He would love her. She had this constant fear that if she made one mistake, God would abandon her too.

May The Real God The Father Please Stand Up?

For many Christians, it’s so much easier to pray to Jesus. After all, He died for our sins. He’s the sweet one. The Father was the mean guy who sent Jesus to die on the cross.

And for many Catholics, it’s so much easier to pray to Mother Mary than to God the Father. Because they believe Mary is more merciful than God. If you can’t go through the front door, go to the back door - Mary has the key.
Which is utterly preposterous.

We have these difficulties because we don’t know who the Father really is.
The Father and the Son are one. And Mother Mary is a beautiful reflection of God’s love for us.

May the real God The Father please stand up?
I changed the names of our four real-life characters. I chose each name deliberately to show you who God the Father is: He is Emmanuel, Grace, Dulce, and Fides.

Daddy Is Emmanuel

A tribe in Africa had a very scary manhood ritual.
When a boy turned 12, the entire community gathered around him for this once-in-a-life-time chanting and dancing ceremony. The elderly women painted red die on his face. His mother gave him a beaded necklace. And the tribal chieftain handed him a long knife with a carved wooden handle.

By nightfall, he was blindfolded and led by six men into the middle of the forest. Once deep inside, the men left him. Alone. In total pitch darkness. The instruction was simple. Survive until dawn, and he gets accepted as a real man in the tribe. But the young boy knew very well that the forest was an incredibly dangerous place. It was the home of tigers. Snakes. Bears. Hyenas.

And so for the entire night, this scrawny little 12-year-old boy was now all alone in the forest. The entire night, he held his knife trembling in his hand. Not for one moment could he rest. Try as he might, his eyes could see nothing but shadows around him. In his imagination, every little sound—even a leaf swaying in the wind—was a wild animal ready to pounce on him at any moment. The whole night, he could hear his heart pounding in his chest.

When his terror overwhelmed him, tears ran down his cheeks. He wanted to shout, “I’m just a little boy! I’m not ready yet to be a man!” But who could hear him now? He was all alone. But after many hours of fighting his fear and exhaustion, his eyes could see more clearly. Dawn was approaching. The first shafts of sunlight pierced through the thick canopy of leaves above him. That was when the little boy felt something move behind him.

In terror, he turned around.
And there, standing tall on a rock behind him, was the towering figure of a fierce-looking man holding a long spear.
The boy shouted, “Daddy!”
The father smiled.
“When did you arrive?” the boy asked, “Are you here to pick me up?”

The father said, “Before you arrived last night, I was already here. I stood guard, protecting you the whole time. I never left you for one moment, my son.” Daddy is Emmanuel - which means God with us.

Friend, I don’t know what darkness you’re going through right now. Perhaps you’re praying for your child who is on drugs. Or your husband is having an affair. Or you’re having financial problems right now. Remember that in your darkness, God is with you. He will never leave or abandon you. When you’re in pain, God embraces you and feels your pain. He weeps with you. Because Daddy is Emmanuel.

Daddy is Grace

When I think of Grace giving her very high report card to her father - and all he did was grunt - I remember my own experience with my report card. When I was in grade school, my report card had red marks. (At least, it was colored. Yours was just black and white.) Because I failed in Math and Pilipino.

That day, I went up to Mom and showed her my report card.
All she said was, “Show it to your father.”
Gulp. Oh boy. I walked up to Dad and gave it to him.
He read it, nodded his head, and handed it back to me, and said, “Son, just study some more.”
No spanking. No scolding. No disapproval.
He then said, “Let’s eat.”
That’s why for the rest of my academic life, I kept failing. (Hehe...)

I guess Dad knew that my brilliance wasn’t in academics. It would bloom elsewhere. (Ahem.)
I thank God for having parents who loved me whether I performed in school or not. They just loved me, period. Unconditionally.
Daddy means Grace. Grace means gift.

Two weeks ago, my son Bene came up to me and showed me his Math exam. He was sad because out of 100 points, he got 92. I couldn’t help but laugh. Because if I got 92, my mother would have fainted. Because when I was a kid, out of 100 points, I would get 36. One time, I got 28. I would show those test papers to Dad. And all he’d say was, “Just do better next time.”

Grace means “free gift”.


Here’s my point: You don’t have to please God so that He loves you. He loves you as you are. He accepts you totally. I don’t care what sin you committed. I don’t care how many times you’ve done it. God loves you and will forgive you of your sins. It will be this love that will bring you to repentance and a new life. Because Daddy is grace.

Daddy Is Dulce

Dulce means sweet.
I believe God is the sweetest Daddy in the world.
A few years ago, I was in a preaching tour in the US.

I remember one big event. After the last song, I was signing my books. There was an unusually long line of people who wanted my autograph. In front of me were four ushers telling people to wait for their turn.

That was when someone ran past the long line of people, squeezed himself in between the ushers, and ducked underneath the table. He then climbed on my lap, handed me a bottle of water, and said, “Please open, Daddy. I’m thirsty.” Bene was four years old at that time.

Obviously, I stopped signing books and opened his bottle.
How could Bene do that? Because he was my son and I was his Daddy.
He was confident that I wouldn’t reject him. He knew that I loved him more than the entire world.

This is what Jesus meant when he taught us the “Our Father”.
Like Bene, we too can run to God, climb on his lap, and ask for what we need.
Because Daddy is dulce.

Daddy Is Fides

I like to believe I’m a good father.
But I’m nothing compared to Dick Hoyt and his love for his son Rick.
In 1962, while baby Rick was in the womb of his mother, he was strangled by the umbilical cord—causing a lack of oxygen in his brain. He suffered cerebral palsy and couldn’t speak or control his arms or legs.

As an eight month old baby, doctors told Dick and his wife Judy to place the child in an institution. “Because he was going to be a vegetable all his life,” they said. But the parents refused and brought him home. Dick promised that he would try to give his son as normal a life as possible.

Fast forward today: Dick learned that Rick loved sports. After a lot of pain and exercise (Dick wasn’t athletic), he pushed Rick in a wheelchair in a 5 kilometer run. After the Run, Rick said that while he was in the race, he didn’t feel an invalid.

That was the start of a great adventure. Today, this father-and-son team has participated in 66 marathons and 229 triathlons.
While running, Dick would push his son in a wheelchair.
While swimming, Dick would pull him in a rubber boat.
While biking, Dick would carry him at the front of his bike.
When I watched the life of Dick and Rick Hoyt, I saw a glimpse of God’s love. This is the Father’s love for you.

I don’t know about you, but I must admit that I’m handicapped in many areas of my life. I’ve got weaknesses I still battle to this day. But in this adventure called life, I’ve experienced my God pushing me, pulling me, and carrying me in his arms. I know God does the same to you.

Fides means faith. The root word for faithfulness.
God has faith in you. He believes in you.
Daddy is fides.

Next week, I’ll talk about God as Leader.
May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Choose to Live Extraordinarily

(By Cliff Young - Crosswalk.Com)

This profound statement was made by the man who led a resistance during the Wars of Scottish Independence, depicted in the movie Braveheart. He was speaking not to seasoned warriors, but rather fellow farmers, tradesmen and landowners, as he challenged these simple men to step out from their rather routine lives to do something extraordinary—to stand up and fight against the tyranny of the English.

Likewise, God calls each of us—many out of what we think are our mundane everyday lives—to do something extraordinary, to really live for Him.

We pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1:10).



Braveheart was shown at the outset of my church’s men’s retreat to encourage and inspire us, the biblically-called leaders in our church, to not accept the status quo of life but to lead and to live a life abundantly.

As believers and as Americans, we are blessed to have endless freedoms, a lengthy life span and the knowledge of eternal life. This gives us the foundation and capacity to change the world, if we choose. However, Ralph Waldo Emerson cautions, “It is not length of life, but depth of life.”

Who and what are you living for? How deep are you choosing to live your life?

A Life Worth Living

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
—William James


I recently saw a heartbreaking, yet encouraging short video called 99 Balloons where this statement was extraordinarily lived out. It can be viewed here.

This documentary chronicled the story of Eliot Mooney, a baby stricken with Trisomy 18 or Edward’s syndrome, a genetic disorder. Most fetuses diagnosed with this illness rarely survive to birth, Eliot did.

His parents, Matt and Ginny Mooney, lived by the aphorism, “You can’t change what happens, it’s all about how you choose to live your day.” What they chose was to celebrate each day of the life of their son, documenting it with a letter to him.

The Mooney’s story is not only inspirational, but serves as a lesson for us to receive and live every day as a gift from God.

Their story has been viewed by millions of people, and in Eliot’s short life of 99 days, he has probably touched more lives around the world than many of us will in 99 years.

Oftentimes it is difficult to find any positives throughout a day (especially from the media), and it becomes almost customary to focus on the negatives in our life. However, don’t allow your circumstances to dictate how you see your life or how you live your life. Our outlook, even in the direst of situations, can inspire, encourage and lead others to greatness.

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received” (Ephesians 4:1).

Invest in Others

Focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life’s purpose.
—Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life


Through his best-selling book, Pastor Rick Warren changed the way many of us looked at ourselves by reminding us our life is not about us.

However, in the midst of all of the challenges we face each day—professionally, relationally and economically, it is sometimes difficult to take our eyes off of ourselves and to focus on a greater purpose. It’s similar to driving in a snow storm at night. Most of your attention becomes fixated on the falling snow in the headlights, rather than on the road and where you are headed.

I am reminded of a man who was personally and professionally in financial ruins. He was trying to support his family, had no money to his name, deficient funds in his business and was told he was worth more dead than alive. His name was George Bailey, the banker and protagonist in Frank Capra’s movie, It’s a Wonderful Life.

At the depth of his despair, George cried out, “Dear Father in Heaven, show me the way.” Despondently, he resigned himself to the thought, “I wish I was never born.” Through an angel named Clarence, George was given the chance to see what the world would have been like had he not been born.

Like George, have you ever wondered if you really mattered? Felt insignificant as an adult? Questioned if your life has made a substantial difference?

A sense that we don’t measure up due to a lack of something (i.e. spouse, family, material possessions, thriving career, looks, money, etc.) is just a misguided thought from the enemy to destroy our confidence and faith. Our indiscriminate feelings of doubt, inadequacy, unimportance and irrelevance are tools he uses to keep us from living our lives to the fullest.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal” (Matthew 6:19-20).

Besides storing up treasures, we shouldn’t be worrying and consuming ourselves with gaining treasures on earth, but rather investing into people’s lives and souls, which are treasures in heaven.

On George Bailey’s journey through a world void of his life, he made a significant discovery. He had positively impacted many people’s lives and changed a community for the better through his honesty, kindness, and concern for others. Although he didn’t possess a great deal monetarily or materially, he had the respect, support and love of family and friends.

The antithesis to George Bailey in today’s world is Bernie Madoff, the billionaire financier who committed the largest investment fraud in history. He defrauded nearly $65 billion from his clients and with it purchased treasures on earth for himself. At his recent sentencing, not one person stood up nor spoke up for him. He is currently serving a 150-year sentence in federal prison.

If we were afforded the gift of seeing what our life has meant to the lives of others, I wonder how many of us would be surprised at how even a small act of kindness or word of encouragement had impacted those around us. It may even encourage us to do more, to the point of living more purposefully.

What I find most exciting (and agonizing at times) about living a life as a believer are the unknowns, stressful as they are. However, when I am able to take my mind off of myself (and my worries), cherish and celebrate each day, and search for opportunities to touch and impact others, the anxieties of my unknowns seem to fade away. I begin living outside of my comfort zone and within God’s. I begin to live an extraordinary life.

May you live every day of your life.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

While You Are Waiting

There are moments in our life when we feel like we're in a waiting room.
Moments between our previous achieved goal (or finished journey) and the next destination.

Those are moments when daily things happen as usual... but there's nothing (according to our point of view) happen regarding to our next goal...
No open door ...yet
No shining chance ...yet
No signs...

...Everything just feels so silent...

And we don't know what to do
Sometimes even feel useless because it feels like we're idle

That's what I'm (kind of) going through right now

But He reminds me that it's not my idle time
Instead, this is a time for me to keep learning things I want to learn
Time for me to strengthen my faith muscles
Time to discern which thoughts I can allow to stick in my mind and thoughts I should throw away

Usually idle times ease a great war in our mind
...and it's not a chance to give up nor to be ignorant
But it's time for us to make sure that we're doing everything we can (in wisdom)
So that we will come out as a winner in Him

So...
Let's build and strengthen our body now
So that in time
We will be able to fly high

"Blessed [is] the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit."
(Jeremiah 17:7-8) - NKJV

Jiayouuuu!!!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Doubt About Yourself?

There are moments in my life when I doubt about myself...
Doubt about my ability...
Doubt about my heart's motivation...
Doubt about everything in me...

But suddenly God said softly...
That every time I doubt about myself, it's the same with not trusting Him
Because He is The One who has unlimited power upon anything, and anyone...
Despite of the thing's or person's limitations

If He can rise a dead person who is totally don't have anything
...no ability ...no consciousness ...no control over himself at all
I mean, he's not even breathing...
How a whole lot more He can do with a living person who truly wants to live right and wants to please Him, even though he is having many limitations or have made many mistakes?

He is right... just as always...
That every time I doubt myself, actually I doubt about His power...
...and of course, His unfailing love...

I definitely can surrender all my hopes in Him...
and He who have started His works in me will make sure it will be done until it is perfectly finished...

^.^
Jiayou my friends!

The Little Things Called LOVE

It's when my dad repaired my watch, though many times fail but he kept trying until it was fixed well... I remember that moment everytime I wear my watch and look at it...

It's when my mom bought me chocolate fried cookies when she saw it at the store because she know I like it...

It's when my parents called me just to tell me to take good care of myself...

It's when God cheers me up by letting me go to Sinar Supermarket, to touch the soft furs of rabbits and hamsters sold there =p

*I'm learning to see and feel love in the little things*
^.^

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Learning to be Patient and Keep The Faith

Yesterday, when I was reading an email (Kerygma mailing list) about patience, suddenly Holy Spirit reminded me of this scripture:

Exodus 14:
18 And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten me honour upon Pharaoh, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen.
19 And the angel of God, which went before the camp of Israel, removed and went behind them; and the pillar of the cloud went from before their face, and stood behind them:
20 And it came between the camp of the Egyptians and the camp of Israel; and it was a cloud and darkness to them, but it gave light by night to these: so that the one came not near the other all the night.
21 And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided

I just thought, actually God could make the sea dry land and divided the water just in a blink of an eye. I mean, He is God... He created the earth land with the grass and trees and fruits, plus the seas in just one day! Dividing waters in one sea should be easier and faster... but why did it take all night?

I don't know the answer, only God knows what He has done...
and I just think that only God knows what He is doing now in my life...

Well... honestly... lately (it's been a few months really) I have questions in my mind... God wants me to learn some lessons for sure... and when I think about the scripture, plus I read a good quote that said,
Be patient just as God is patient.


Then I think about all events when God really shows His unbelievable patience to human... I just speechless... This is just as usual, He always make me speechless and amazed by His way to keep me think about Him... ^.^

Just now, He reminded me again about Joseph.

When I was in Lippo Cikarang (my previous chapter of life), God also reminded me of Joseph. My journey is kind of similar with his journey. When I was in Lippo Cikarang, I thought it's similar with times when Joseph was separated from his beloved Father (I was separated from my family and all the familiar things before) and taken to a totally strange land. That was so similar (except the fact that I wasn't sold as a slave like Joseph =p). But I work there, and eventually find my interest in writing and internet.

Now... when few months ago I began to questioning about my current work, I was reminded about Joseph (again!) when he was thrown into the jail for a crime he didn't commit (he was accused for raping attempt to Potiphar's wife). In the jail, Joseph met the king's personal servant and chief cook. After he told the meaning of their dreams, he said to them as his own effort to get out of the jail, "But when these good things happen, please don't forget to tell the king about me, so I can get out of this place. I was kidnapped from the land of the Hebrews, and here in Egypt I haven't done anything to deserve being thrown in jail." Joseph just want to be free, and it's a fair demand because he didn't do the crime. Just be free from the jail, it's a simple request, is it too much to ask?

But what is the result of his own effort? It is said in Genesis 40:22-23, "Everything happened just as Joseph had said it would, but the king's personal servant completely forgot about Joseph." (Don't you think it's a bit illogical? I mean, how could he forgot about Joseph after what Joseph had predicted really happened in reality??? It's really God's intervention)

Joseph had to spend 2 more years in the jail before God make a way for Joseph to get out of jail (not just get out, but a lot more that just be a free man!) and promoted to be governor of all Egypt! What a day! That happened in just one day!

I see that one big difference in Genesis 41:16, "Your Majesty," Joseph answered, "I can't do it myself, but God can give a good meaning to your dreams.

Two years before, Joseph defended himself and protested about his condition, about things that considered unfair by his own judgement... He did all he could to be free, but nothing happened until God said that it was time for him to get out and fulfill his destiny...

I have to admit... I did what Joseph did... I tried to defend myself to others, I thought that what I'm going through right now is not fair... this is not what I expect... this is not what I deserve... I ask questions to God... But the result is nothing... There are days when I can control myself to be content and grateful, but there are also days when I'm still questioning, "What am I doing here, really?" ...like today...

God has His own reasons, and I believe it's a very good reason, He has a special purpose in my life, just as everyone else's life... and I know that there's nothing I can do to make Him move before its time... there's nothing I can do to make Him open a new way for me to escape from my process of character molding... He doesn't want me to (just) be a free person, He wants me to fulfill my destiny, a bigger purpose, just like Joseph.

Thank you God... I don't know what lies ahead of me... but like my friend's status on Facebook (I'm really amazed by His ways, He can remind me through anything!), I say:

I'm grateful for everything that had happened, for everything that is happening now, and for everything that will be happen... because I know You're The One who holds my future...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Radio Announcer

God is the original Radio Announcer while we are the radios.
We should tune ourselves on the right frequency to get His voice be heard out loud...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Talking Singleness

(by David Barshinger - Boundless.Org)

I recently sat down with Mark and Sarah, two friends who spent a longer time being single than they had anticipated. They'll celebrate their third wedding anniversary this summer, but they remember well the season of singleness, and shared candidly about their experience.

* * *

David: Mark, tell me a little about your experience with singleness and dating?

Mark: I dated two girls seriously in college and one after I graduated, but I spent six years without a girlfriend before meeting Sarah. I was very interested in girls and being in relationships, but I didn't have a good context for what I was looking for.

Did you struggle with six years of singleness?

M: It was a real challenge to interpret and ask, "Where's my life headed?" I was just out of college, still living with parents, and focused on, "What is life going to become?" The challenge was to be patient and trust in God, to be in that time and bear up under it. And it was increasingly difficult after my failed relationships to believe I could be in a successful one.

Did being single affect your relationships with other people too?

M: It did. I wondered, "How am I supposed to have community?" I spent a lot of time alone. And the real hurdle was how to have faith in the midst of that loneliness.

I gained weight, became increasingly introverted and depressed, and grew cold toward others. I kept people at arm's length because I was feeling hurt and down. My way of coping was trying to control every relationship I had.

Looking back now, do you see any blessings in this period?

M: Though I wasn't happy with it, I was able to focus on building some skills at work and with my career that I needed to work on. It forced me to learn to live on my own because I had lived in codependent relationships.

Eventually, it forced me to admit to God and to other people, "I need some help here. I can't keep trying to do things the way I'm doing them." And it prepared me to be in a good relationship with Sarah.

How so?

M: It squeezed me to the point where I said, "If I don't talk to someone about this, I don't know what's going to happen." I went to a Christian counselor and got into a mentoring relationship with a pastor, which prepared me for relating appropriately with others and with Sarah.

Speaking of your wife ... Sarah, tell us a little about your story.

Sarah: I dated a guy on and off in high school and college for four years, and I was sure we would get married. When we weren't dating, I was miserable, trying to figure how I could get him back. When we were together, he seemed perfect, but I kept wondering, "Why isn't he perfect?" Finally I broke it off.

What did you do after that?

S: I dated here and there. And I read Mark of a Man by Elisabeth Elliot, which helped me define what I was looking for.

But when I wasn't with somebody, I was so despairing. I thought, "I am such a weird person, I'm never going to find the right person."

Early on in college, I thought, "How could God make anyone single? How could he punish them like that?" Then I graduated and wondered, "How am I going to meet people?" During this period, I vacillated: One day, I was settled — "I'm fine by myself" — and the next day, I despaired — "I'm never going to be with anybody!"

Finally, I came to grips with the possibility that I could be single for the rest of my life. I said, "God, you are enough and with you I can survive." After that point — and it took a process to get there — I felt freed from being desperate for a husband.

Now after you two eventually met, you dated for a year and a half. Then you got married, nearly three years ago. As you think back on your period as singles, did you face pressures or expectations that made it harder?

M: I remember when I was in college, people kept saying, "Don't get married, don't be in a relationship all the time." Then at a certain age they starting saying, "Why aren't you married?" I was told, "You need to be married before you're 30."

I think too that the church is culturally — though not spiritually — established around American perspectives on family and marriage, so people communicate in terms of couples and singles. But I hate the word "singles." It describes people poorly. The single person becomes just a tag at the end, which is so hurtful.

S: For me, the dynamics of hitting your fourth year at a Christian college raised the inevitable question: "So who are you going to marry after you graduate — because, of course, he's here." It was the last-minute scramble. And I saw a lot of people getting together because of that pressure who didn't seem compatible. I wondered, "How many will divorce?"

As you watched your friends getting married, how did you deal with that?

M: You have to expect that as friends get married, there will be a natural change. It's a little naive not to expect it — and after all it's a biblical principle, leaving your parents and cleaving to your spouse (Gen. 2:24). They have to separate from other things.

I could have done a better job of looking for other relationships as my relationships changed. I didn't see any natural methods beside joining a softball team — which I did, but it didn't help.

I also could have tried harder to network with people and say, "Look, I'm struggling with relationships and community; can you help me figure out ways to build that stuff in my life right now?"

And I could have thought outside the box to use my time, because you have a lot of time. I could have gotten a master's degree. Taken a six-month or yearlong sabbatical from work for a missions trip. Gotten a second job to pay off bills. I wasted a lot of time waiting for life to happen for me.

S: But when you feel that way, it's so hard to get motivated.

M: Yes, but those events would have provided community without making the search for a mate the priority. I'm reminded that we need to "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness" (Matt. 6:34). Personally, I became introverted and self-focused.

S: It's true — when you're serving others, you're not looking at yourself.

M: Sometimes you need something out of the ordinary to help you, because you can't get out of a rut yourself. But God is at work no matter what. God used it for good — He redeemed it.

And what role did your Christian faith play in living through singleness?

S: For me, it was a comfort. I trusted that all things were perfectly timed and would be good. Still, I often didn't understand. I would wonder, "Why did I have this relationship? Should I not have had this relationship?" I had lots of why questions, and they don't all get answered when you're married.

M: Church can actually play up the despair aspect of being single. Often I despaired because of what was going on in my church and the way people related to me, not despite it. I think relationships can be exalted to some high place.

S: Yeah, it always seems like single people are the add-on. There's no category for them. Churches serve families, but if you're single, you're waiting. What about the Pauls out there who are single?

Is there a way the church can do better here?

M: The church could focus on where people can be serving, even if they're not married.

S: When I was single, it would have been beneficial for me to have mentors, not simply teaching me to be a good wife, but to be a godly woman. But the single is often being prepared for the next step rather than for living now.

M: The church can also focus more on integrating people, not basing integration on your relational status or organizing groups around demographics.

As you think back over these years, did anyone say something that just didn't help?

M: Yes: "You're going make somebody such a great husband someday." Blah!

S: Another thing I heard was, "Just wait, it will happen; you'll forget this time period ever existed." And I thought, "But that could be a big chunk of my life!"

How about any advice that really worked?

S: In high school, both my mom and dad said, "Just be friends with lots of boys and lots of people. Get to know better what you're looking for."

M: Someone encouraged me to concentrate on improving myself. Focus on the Lord and growing spiritually. Find a way to serve.

A good paradigm-shifting question is to ask, "What's the next step — beside marriage — that God has in mind for you that you can focus on?" We need to broaden our thinking to see how we can be more useful to him for his kingdom's sake. You can find wonderfully fulfilling things to do if you have that mindset.

S: And that's often how you end up meeting people too.

As we wrap things up, what suggestions can you give other single Christians who want to be married for dealing with the challenges of singleness?

S: Do things to grow your relationship with God. No matter what you're doing, you should do that. Marriage is not the end-all.

It also helps to read personality books and birth order books, so you can get to know yourself and learn how to better relate with others.

I did some traveling too, and I'm so glad I did. If I didn't do that, I would be so sad.

M: If I could go back, I would tell myself to make the most of each day. Even with praying faithless prayers, just keep praying them. Often my prayers were pretty weak, but the truth is that God sustains us.

And in the darkest moments, when you're feeling all alone, even if all you've got is just a little bit of faith, exercise it. Hold on to that mustard seed of faith.