Comfy In My Own Skin

(by Kay Harms)

Recently I came across my kindergarten graduation picture. What a hoot! Wide grins showed missing front teeth, girls sported bouffant hairdos, and a frazzled teacher stood in the corner looking strangely relieved. But, as usual, the first thought that crossed my mind as I stared at the photo was “I’m taller than everyone else!” In the center of the back row, I stood head and shoulders above all the boys. The rest of the girls lined the front row, looking dainty and small.

I was always one of the tallest girls in my class. By the time I was in the sixth grade, I was fully grown at 5’8”. Now by today’s standards 5’8” actually is not that tall. But I battled with my height for years, feeling like a large crane standing in a pond among cute little ducks and beautiful swans. While others thought my height was an asset, I felt different, ugly, and out of place.
My height has not been my only battle with self confidence. I have also warred against my unmanageable hair, my long pointy nose, my large feet, my loud voice, my extreme clumsiness, and my tendency to be bossy. All of these are attributes that others promised me were either blessings in disguise or “stages” I would outgrow. I’m not sure that either has proven true, but the battles are over all the same.

The battle within

Most of us struggle to feel confident in who we are. Whether our points of vulnerability are physical, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual, we all have areas where we feel less than adequate. When we focus on these insecurities, our self confidence wanes and we fail to live up to our fullest potential. Out of embarrassment, we shrink back into the shadows, hoping no one notices. Or we compensate for our insecurities by overplaying our strengths, i.e. making everyone laugh because we feel unintelligent.

I tried for years to increase my self confidence by improving myself. I concluded that while the “basic package” may not be that great, I could “upgrade” until I eventually became a “good deal.” But that kind of effort does not produce true self confidence. Like the owner of a vehicle loaded with bells and whistles, I had to work too hard to keep my new façade polished and shiny.

True and lasting self confidence grows naturally when you become comfortable in your own skin. That’s not to say that self worth is rooted only in your appearance. Being comfy in your skin includes being satisfied with your body image, your personality, your skills and abilities, your past, and even your limitations.

Comfy at last

At 42 years of age, I can say that I am a much more confident woman than I was even a few years ago. While I don’t necessarily exude self confidence in every situation and every moment, I am finally comfortable in my own skin. For me the antidote for low self esteem has been found in celebrating who I am. Obviously I am not perfect, and neither is anyone else. However, the Bible does say that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” According to Psalm 139, I am created in a way that perfectly suits me to the unique purposes for which God put me on this earth. My frame fits my function. My personality suits my purpose. My skills and abilities are up to code. In fact, my past paves the way for my future and my limitations allow other people to contribute to my life. Now that’s something to celebrate!

Celebration boosters

Here are some practical steps that have helped me celebrate who I am. Pick one to try today!

* Make-up without apology – Learn to apply cosmetics in the way that most flatters your face and best fits your lifestyle. For a little assistance, visit a department store cosmetics counter or call an independent beauty consultant with Mary Kay or Beauty Control.

* Tame your mane – For once, pay a little extra for a haircut and style with a “cutting edge” stylist. Make sure he explains how to get salon results at home. Then forget about trying to do your hair like your best friend’s. Sport your own style with satisfaction!

* Find fashions that fit – Most of us wear clothes that are either too small or too large. Many department stores having shopping consultants who can help you find clothes that fit your size and frame while also fitting your budget.

* Go to school on your weakness – Do you have an area in which you feel embarrassingly inept? Leave the pity party and go back to school. Search for a class or coach that can help you perfect your cooking, etiquette, speech, parenting skills, financial savvy, etc.

* Work that body – Regardless of your frame or size, you will feel better about your body if you use it constructively. Take a walk, dance, ride your bike, jump rope, or swim. The more you move it, the more you’ll love it.

* Play your own personality – Explore the basic personality temperaments and find out what makes you tick. Learn how to maximize the strengths of your personality and how to get along with others. Check out Florence Littauer’s Personality Plus for more information.

* Put your mistakes to work – We all make mistakes, but what we do afterward is key. Once you’ve worked through a mistake, by analyzing where you went wrong and how you can get back on the right track, you may have opportunity to make something good out of it. View the mistake as a platform for service to others in similar situations.

Get right with the Creator – The most important step toward celebrating who you are is getting to know the One who created you. He alone can help you understand your purpose and show you how to be the best you can be. He can also redeem your past mistakes and give you hope, faith and love.

A solid growing relationship with God is the greatest confidence builder around. Do you need to deepen your relationship with your Creator? Are you seeking fulfillment, purpose, and confidence from Him? When you praise Him for the great job He did in creating you and make yourself available to Him for His purposes, you will find true self confidence.

Source: christianwomentoday