Mad About Me

(by Karen Scalf Linamen)
Learning to love your body can help you feel better about yourself.

The bible tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Matthew 19:19). But a couple years ago, I took a good look at myself and realized I didn't love myself at all. In fact, if I loved my friends and neighbors as I loved myself, it wouldn't take long for them to stop returning my calls!

The truth is, I'd abused my body with too much food and too little exercise. The reasons had varied through the years—marriage struggles, stress, depression—but the outcome was clear: I'd gained 120 unwanted pounds and I felt exhausted and dumpy, more like an "it" than a woman and a wife.

One evening while I was working in my office, I looked up and saw my reflection in a window. I was sick and tired of hating the way I looked and felt! I vowed to find a way to turn my life around. My goal wasn't to turn myself into a Perfect 10. I didn't want to pursue outer beauty at the expense of inner beauty. But I wanted to appreciate and cherish the body God gave me. Here's how I began to do just that:
Make Peace with the Scale

In previous years I'd started exercise programs with the goal of losing weight. When my scale didn't immediately budge, I usually became frustrated and sought consolation at the nearest Pizza Hut.

This time I threw out the scale. My new goal wasn't to lose weight. Instead, my aim was to gain strength, flexibility, and energy. I wanted to move with greater freedom, so I no longer felt like a stranger in my own body.

My first step toward loving my body was simply this: I got moving. I claimed one of the treadmills at my local gym and began walking every day. I took my Walkman and rocked to my favorite music as I put the miles behind me.

At the beginning, I was hard pressed to walk 15 minutes. That was okay; I didn't push myself. My initial goal was simply to use my body every day. Even if I went home after 15 minutes, I felt like a success. The first change I noticed was that I could breathe and move easier than before. Even if I never lost another pound, these were worthwhile changes. I was on my way!
Feel Feminine

I still weighed 260 pounds. But now I could walk from the television to the refrigerator without getting winded, so I definitely was making progress! It was time for Phase Two of my campaign to learn to love my body: I wanted to feel sexy.

I hadn't felt attractive in a long time. Embarrassed by my body, I was always trying to figure ways to make love to my husband without actually getting naked. Dark rooms helped some, but I felt most comfortable hiding behind several layers of clothing. If I could have made love to him from another room, I would have done that!

Now I wanted to change all that. But how in the world could I begin? For starters, there's nothing that makes me feel less appealing than lily-white skin. The underbelly of a frog has more color than my body without a tan. Deciding a little color would make me feel better, I began experimenting with sunless tanning lotions. I loved the results (I'm hooked on Neutrogena's Sun-less Tanning Foam. Great color and no funny smell! ).

Next step? Beautiful bras and panties. It didn't matter that I was wearing size-24 jeans and hiding behind triple x sweatshirts—I felt more attractive knowing that beneath it all lurked some seriously feminine lingerie. Victoria isn't the only one with a sexy secret—I had one, too!

I splurged on an occasional pedicure, then kept my feet baby-bottom-soft by slathering on Vaseline and wearing thick socks to bed. I bought a gold toe ring and anklet. I also discovered that an occasional new pair of sunglasses made me feel like a million dollars for about $12.99.

No, I didn't look like Cindy Crawford. But I was discovering I didn't need to. I could celebrate my feminine beauty just the way I was.
Think Positive

It was one thing to go to the gym and to wear lacy unmentionables. But I realized that in order to really love my body, I had to change the unhealthy thoughts that ran through my head.

For starters, I needed to take to heart what God says about me—that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made by him (Psalm 139:14) and that my body is his temple (1 Corinthians 3:16). So instead of thinking, Oh, I hate exercise. Why do I have to punish myself this way? I began saying, When I exercise, I'm taking care of myself. Sure, it requires time and effort, but it makes me feel good. I'm worth it!

I also used new thoughts to battle the urge to binge. One day I felt drawn to several Christmas cookies on my kitchen counter. Instead of reaching for them, I closed my eyes and asked, How will I feel 20 minutes from now if I eat all those cookies? I knew the answer: I would feel defeated, hopeless, and ashamed. It wasn't worth it. I left the cookies for the kids.

Of course, there were still days when I lost the battle and downed a dozen Twinkies or a Sam's-sized bag of green-and-red M&Ms in a single sitting. In the past, I would have berated myself with You idiot, look what you've done! My harsh thoughts would only have deepened my self-loathing. Miserable, I would have been driven back to the kitchen for the Haagen Daas or Oreos.

Now I embraced a new way of thinking: So you ate an entire box of Twinkies? That's okay. You must have needed them in some fashion. Now that you've eaten them, you can move on. You're free to eat healthy again. I was realizing that junk food is temporary—eventually it leaves the body. Yet the guilt and shame I heaped on myself had a lasting effect. Embracing a new way of thinking helped me battle the real enemy—self-loathing, not food.
Live Well

It's been two years since I've given myself the gift of falling in love with my body. I still work out at the gym—in fact, I've added strength training to my routine. Hard to believe that the girl who flunked tenth-grade P.E. is hefting dumbbells and pumping iron with the big boys!

I've lost weight—60 pounds, to be exact—but as I've made these lifestyle and attitude changes, I've learned the numbers on my scale don't reflect my worth as a woman, nor should they determine the enjoyment I get out of life. Truth is, 20 years ago, when I weighed 135 pounds, I still hated my thighs. Today, my scale hovers around 200, and I've never felt sexier or more comfortable with my body.

Other rewards of my newfound love affair with myself? My kids are reaping the benefits of a healthier, more active mother. My 13-year-old daughter and I enjoy shopping for clothes at the same stores together. And when we go to the pool at a hotel or during the summer, my five year old doesn't have to beg me to play in the water with her—I'm ready to go.

And when it comes to my love life … well, let me just say that I no longer make my husband turn out the lights and wait for a lunar eclipse before I'll get undressed.

Best yet, I like my body now. We have a good relationship. We're friends. I couldn't have said that two years ago.

King David was right when he penned Psalm 139:14. Pixie, buxom, lanky, large, or thin, you and I can rest assured: At every size and in every shape, we are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made.

Pampering Pointers

Loving your body doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg:

Go cheapskate on some beauty strategies so you can splurge on others. For example, I get $10 haircuts at Supercuts so I can afford acrylic nails. I buy $3 lip gloss but splurge on $14 mascara.

Swap secrets with girlfriends. My friend Linda got me turned on to a great haircolor I buy at my supermarket … Debbie told me about Ponds Age Defying Face Cream from Wal-Mart … Beth showed me how to bleach the hair on my arms and introduced me to a good electrologist in town.

Steal these strategies that don't cost a dime. Stay away from sodas and coffee, and drink lots of water instead. Get plenty of sleep. Stand up straight for better posture. And perhaps the most effective beauty secret of all—smile!

Source: christianitytoday