A New Confidence

(by Idelette McVicker)

This Is Holy Ground
Take off your confident shoes. Your red power suit. Put down your briefcase.
Take off your jewelry. Forget about lipstick and end-of-the-day mascara smudges.
Forget about mirrors. In fact, ruffle your hair a bit.
Come, sit down and be.

Now take off your Self.
Personality? Lay it down. Yes, achievements, too.
Your talents. All those unique little quirks.
And just for a while, take off your charm.
Come, stand heart-naked,
honest, before God
and yourself.

Hiding Confidently Behind a Wall

I always thought I was confident. Walking into a room with an air of confidence, chin up, tummy in, shoulders back, being able to talk to anyone -- that was my idea of confidence. Attitude? I had it. And I confidently believed I had something unique to offer the world.

But I knew that in my honest, barefoot moments, I wasn't necessarily confident. In my quest for its essence, I realized my confidence was rooted in personality. It was large and visible, but it washed up against a strong wall that surrounded my very private self. And that place was dry.

I realized this when it became easier to speak in front of a crowd than to be vulnerable with a friend. How hard it was to share my struggles, my fears, my disappointments with my closest friend. I couldn't open my heart. I offered well-hidden pat answers to her sincere requests. And then got comfortable listening. I found myself listening a lot. But I knew that, although perhaps noble, it wasn't necessarily honest. I used listening to make sure I remained an observer and kept at a safe distance. I didn't allow the relationship to grow in a balanced way by sharing equal parts of myself. I was talking, yes, but not necessarily sharing.

The truth was, I didn't feel worthy of sharing my troubles with someone. Taking a friend's time. Calling on her compassion and love. Having someone listen to me.

I wasn't confident to be "naked" in front of those I loved. Laying bare my faults and mistakes.

I wasn't confident that me -- minus contributions and giving, me -- barefoot and honest --was wonderful enough to be loved. Besides, it was much safer, much easier to listen, comfort and give.

A lie had slipped into my life. The lie of having to earn love by accomplishment. The lie of doing, and not being.

Bathed in Truth

But then God started breathing Truth into my spirit, by His Word:
I give you thanks that I am fearfully, wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
The Lord said to me, "I chose you before I gave you life, and before you were born I selected you to be a prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah 1:4).
God's choice was based on His call, and not on anything they had done (Romans 9:12).

Finally, I got it. My heart was on fire with the truth that nothing I could do would make Jesus love me more than He already did. Whether I spent my life on the couch or on a mission field, whether I messed up, succeeded, loved, achieved, procrastinated, had fun, worked with the homeless or watched movies all day... nothing would change His love for me. His love did not depend on my performance, but was based on His character. It was free. No strings attached.

Ironically, the moment I entered into this new freedom, I wanted to do things for God. Not because I felt I had to, but because I wanted to. Out of overflowing love and gratitude for how awesome He is, I wanted to pour out into His world some of the value He had built into me.

"(I)f we have some confidence in ourselves because we are created by a loving God --because we are God's children, made in our Father's image -- then we will want to accomplish something with our gifts. We will want to do something that will last," says Alan Loy McGinnis in his book, Confidence: How to Succeed at Being Yourself.

Clothed in Confidence

As Truth entered, I became whole. Rivers of living water started pouring out from my center, pounding away at my walls. New life surged through me: enthusiasm, joy, and yes, confidence. Set free and empowered by divine love.

Confidence said I was a daughter of the King. Like confetti, God splashed abundance thinking on my head -- away with scarcity, jealousy, fear and doubt. Confidence said I was valuable, beautiful and precious in my Father's sight. (I am a daughter of the King!) Confidence said I could be vulnerable and still be loved. Confidence said I could laugh at myself, because I didn't have to be perfect. Confidence said my mission was to reflect God-color in the world.

Stripped of any ounce of own ability, honest before my King, confident in His love, I said, "Yes."

What About You?

What about you? Is your life overflowing with living water? Are you walking confidently in the knowledge of who you are in Christ Jesus? Do you have the confidence you desire?
God wants to be our leverage in living, empowering us to feel better about ourselves, more excited about our future, more grateful for those we love and more enthusiastic about our faith. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, God has given you His Holy Spirit to help you live life according to His perfect plan.

Source: christianwomentoday